For Keeps
by BurntBreadAndShinyPearls
Summary: They were each other's firsts. First date, first kiss, first love... Nearing the end of high school, something had happened and drove a wedge between them. Now six years later, Peeta Mellark and Katniss Everdeen run into each other and possibly reignite their old spark, if it's still there. Can they still feel the same love that they felt so easily years ago? Modern day AU.
1. Chapter 1

**A/n: Hello, all! **

**This my latest Everlark fanfic! I have two others that I'm currently writing, too. This is a different plot idea than what I've written about, and I'm really excited to start writing it. **

**Here's the summary:**

**They were each other's firsts. First date, first kiss, first love... Nearing the end of high school, something had happened and drove a wedge between them. Now six years later, Peeta Mellark and Katniss Everdeen run into each other, possibly reigniting their old spark, if it's still there. Falling in love isn't as easy as it was before. Modern AU.**

**My other Everlark fics are in Peeta's perspective, and this one will sometimes have chapters where it's Katniss's perspective. But, the main one will be Peeta.**

**I hope you all give this story a chance, and watch it unfold. This one with definitely be fluffy, with a hint of drama. So, please give it a shot!**

**Enjoy!**

**I do not own The Hunger Games.**

* * *

I heave a breath and drop the cardboard box filled with sketchpads, notebooks, and novels on the bare floor of my new apartment. My eyes scan the small living room with a door to the left, leading to a smaller bedroom, and a door beside it, _the bathroom. _I give a cold laugh, _twenty-four going on twenty-five and can't even get a nicer place,_ I think. I look down at the few cardboard boxes, and dread the rest that I'll soon have to lug up the six flights of stairs. _Place is too cheap to afford an elevator..._ With an annoyed sigh, I fish my cellphone out of the pocket of my jeans, and dial a number while walking down the stairs.

"Finnick, it'd be nice if you get here _before_ I drag all the boxes up by myself." I say with a huff into the annoying answering machine of his cellphone.

I push through the creaky front doors of the complex, and grab two more boxes from the back of my truck. One box at a time would be easier, but it seems Finnick won't show up for at least another hour... _Screw it._ I roll my eyes at the reliability of my best friend, and try to peak over the boxes in my hands as I walk through the front doors. I make my way to the stairs, and keep my eyes trained on the steps below me to keep my footing.

Without an accident, I make it to the sixth floor, and walk in the direction of– I stumble a few steps back, and drop my boxes when I run into something? I hear a sigh, and I look up to see a girl on the ground with a dropped cardboard box to match mine.

"Oh god," I say and rush over the boxes to help her up. "I didn't see-" The words die in my mouth when her grey eyes look up to mine. My eyes widen as I look her over; the dark, dark wavy hair, steely grey eyes, tan skin... "Katniss?" I choke out, and she's as stunned as me.

Her eyes scan my body, as if analyzing to make sure she sees correctly. After a pause, she says, "...Peeta?"

And just hearing her voice, brings back memories from when we were young, care free... in love? The memories pain me, yet make me feel happy. Katniss Everdeen... is standing in front of me right now, and the six years have most certainly not changed a thing. Well, actually they have. Can six years make you more beautiful?

"Um.." I stumble. _Um?_ I shout in my head. I have so much to say, and all I can say is um? _Get your shit together, Peeta!_ "You... you look beautiful... as always." I swear a smile graces her lips; the smile I haven't seen in so long. The smile... the girl I've been longing for.

"Your eyes are still bright blue," she says quietly with the smallest hint of a smirk.

I offer her my hand, and her soft hand touches mine, sending a jolt through me. One that I haven't felt since I was eighteen. "Yeah, just like the sky," I say, remembering how she used to describe them years ago, and try to stop the electricity coursing through my veins. "Or at least that's what you told me."

A blush spreads across her cheeks, and I want to wrap my arms around her. To tell her I've missed her, to tell her.. To tell her everything. And I want to ask her about why she broke things off. Why she disappeared just after graduation. Why she left me alone.

"Are you... are you moving in?" She motions to my apartment door. _615._ I nod, and something crosses her face, but it's hard to decipher after six years. I feel anger towards how I used to be able to tell what she was thinking just by her eyes, but that was long ago. "I guess we're – uh – neighbours."

"We are?" I try to keep my voice level, but the happiness perks in my voice. "Where are you?" And she points to a door at the very opposite end of the hall.

"602."

"Oh... that's cool." I say, trying to keep it cool. But my mouth opens again, words spilling out. "Maybe... maybe we could, um, y'know... grab coffee?" I stutter through the sentence and feel my cheeks become hot.

She bites down on her lip, a signature Katniss Everdeen nervous habit. Her feet shuffle, and she looks down. I start losing hope when she sighs, but then she says, "Okay, um.. Alright. Just let me take this box to my room, and grab a few things." She picks up the box, and hurries down the hallway to her place.

"Peeta, sorry I'm late! I was-" I look up to see Finnick, but he stops mid-sentence when searching my face. "Why do you have a shit eating grin on your face?"

I abandon the boxes a drag Finnick into my apartment. I close the door, and say, "I just ran into... Katniss."

Finnick's eyes widen in shock, and he gapes. "Katniss? Katniss Everdeen? Your other-half for the majority of high school?" And this must be shock for Finnick. They were close in high school, and he didn't even know where she disappeared to after Grad.

"Yeah.." I say slowly, it finally sinking in.

"I gotta say hi to her again!" He declares, and goes to leave out the door, but I grab his shirt and pull him back.

"No, not now." I say, "You're going to stay here, and unload the rest of my boxes while I go for coffee with her." He looks slightly disappointed, and I feel bad... "Please, Finn? I really... miss her."

Finnick stares me down before sighing. "You're lucky I care about you. And I care about you enough for a beer. Or two."

"Thanks," I smile and open the door. "We'll go out for beers, alright? I'll pay."

Finnick grins and shoos me off. "Well, if you insist." I roll my eyes and close the door behind me. I look down the hall just in time as Katniss walks out her apartment, and toward me.

"There's a place just around the corner," I say as she approaches me with a leather messenger bag slung across her shoulder. Wait.. "Is that the bag I got you for your birthday in Junior year?"

Another blush spreads across her cheeks, and she nods. I grin feeling hopeful that maybe she still feels something. _But it's been six years._ We begin to silently walk to and down the staircase. I open the old front door for her, she mumbles a quiet thank you, and I shrug with a smile as I lead us down the street to the nearby _Starbucks_. The air is muggy and warm with the smell of rain soon to come.

"What do you usually drink?" I ask with a smirk, hoping it's still the same.

We walk into the Starbucks and she gives me a look. "Don't act like you don't know," she says with a shake of her head. "Someone got me addicted to their Java Chip Frappuccino..."

"Who would do such a thing?" I mockingly ask. Things almost start to feel like they did years ago. And maybe they can be? _Oh, who am I kidding?_ "You go grab a seat, I'll get our drinks."

Katniss retreats back into her reclusive attitude, nods and walks over to a table by the window. I turn around, and order two Java Chip Frappuccinos, and a double chocolate, peanut butter chunk brownie. _Katniss's favourite._The barista calls out my name, I grab the two drinks and the plate with the brownie.

When I set the drinks and brownie down on the table, her eyes widen and then narrow at me as I take a seat across from her. "You didn't need to get a brownie," she says.

"But it's your favourite. Well, _was _your favourite."

She does a double take from me to the brownie, and breaks the dessert into two chucks. She holds it up and inspects the middle. "Peanut butter chunks... You remember that?"

_I remember everything about you, _I want to say. "Yeah, of course."

I watch as she takes a bite, and her eyes flutter closed. "Mmm.." she moans. I chuckle and her cheeks flush, and she swallows. "Not as good as yours though." She adds quietly.

A new memory has surfaced; the day I taught Katniss how to make chocolate peanut butter chunk brownies. She was so clumsy, and awful at mixing ingredients, that after an hour of _trying _to bake them, I told her to sit down and let the professional handle it. And, of course, this brought on her famous scowl which subsided once I gave her a spoon of batter to lick. I was hopelessly in love with her..

But then the day before Graduation, she told me it was over.

"_Katniss, what's going on?"_

_We're sitting on a bench at our favourite park. She looks down at the ground, a tear slips down her cheek and makes a dark dot on her shorts. "Peeta... I'm breaking up with you."_

_My heart nearly stops at her words, and the blood pounds in my ears. I find it harder to breathe when I try to speak. "What?... Kat- Katniss.. No, why?"_

"_Peeta, we're growing up... this was just some silly teenage romance. Right?" She chokes out, sounding like she's trying to convince herself._

"_I love you... you said you loved me. What happened to that?" I ask hurriedly, like my time with her is slipping away. "We we're going to go to University together... we were looking at apartments, Katniss. We're going to be teachers together. Remember?"_

_She still doesn't meet my eyes, but manages to croak out, "And you can still do that. Bye, Peeta." And then she gets up and runs down the sidewalk. I want to chase after her, and beg for her. Fight for her. But my whole body is paralyzed. I feel a tear slip down my own cheek, and my heart breaking with every breath._

The next time I saw Katniss was the following day at Graduation. In the crowd before the ceremony started I saw her younger sister, Prim and her cousin, Gale. I wondered where her mother and father were, and I had assumed they were late. And I tried to look for Katniss after the ceremony, but it was like she wasn't even there. That was the last day I saw her.

"Mr. Mellark!" A voice calls out, and I snap out of my day dream to look at Katniss. But she wasn't the one to call my name... I look around the shop, and find two of my students walking over toward my table. "Hey, Mr. Mellark!"

I smile kindly at the two girls from my Art and English classes that I teach at the nearby high school. "Sarah, Lindsey, good seeing you girls."

They look from Katniss to me and giggle. "Oops, are you on a date, Mr. Mellark?"

I nervously chuckle as my cheeks heat up, and Katniss chokes on her drink. "Uh... no, no. This is just an... old, uh, friend?" I say more as a question.

The girls nod and roll their eyes. "Alright, Mr. Mellark. We'll see you on Monday."

"Have a good weekend, girls." I say as they turn away. "Oh, and don't forget your essays due for Monday!" I call out. They wave and grab their drinks before leaving.

I turn back to Katniss and give a shy smile. "Sorry about that.."

Her head cocks slightly to the side and she raises an eyebrow. "Mr. Mellark?"

"I'm an English and Art teacher at Burnley High." I tell her, and with the memory that I recently thought about, I feel sad.

She opens her bag, and pulls out a stack of papers. "Prep work for my new job." She says, "English teacher at Greywell Collegiate."

_We both became English teachers.. Just like we planned._ I stare down at the papers in her hand, and close my eyes. "Katniss..." I say slowly, and hopefully I don't regret asking. "What happened to us?"

I dare to open my eyes. She's folding the corner of one of her papers, avoiding my eyes. "If I told you... you'd hate me." She says quietly. "Thanks for the coffee and brownie, but I have a lot of – um – work. I'll maybe see you around. Bye, Peeta."

Those words hit me just as hard as they did the last time she told me good bye. I watch her pack her things and hastily leave the coffee shop. My Java Chip drink sits on the table untouched, and her's half empty. Half of the brownie on the plate, the other half gone with Katniss. _Like half of my heart._ And I start to think..

I could never hate Katniss Everdeen.

I think I'm still in love with her.

* * *

**A/n: Alright, so that's the first chapter! I'll make the upcoming chapters, I promise! This is just to see how you all like it.**

**Obviously we'll learn later on why Katniss ended it, and we'll see some flashbacks of teenage Katniss and Peeta in love.**

**What did you all think? Please give me your feedback! I'm really interested in writing this story, it's a way differently plot than what I've written before, so I'm excited to share it.**

**Review or PM me? Let me know your opinion!**


	2. Chapter 2

**A/n: Wow, thank you all who reviewed or followed/favourited! Your reviews and PM's make my day. Thank you!**

**This chapter starts in Peeta's POV, then switches to Katniss's for a page or two, and then back to Peeta. I don't like switching POVs too much in one chapter, so this will be rare. Usually, I try to keep it in one POV each chapter.**

**Flashbacks are in italics.**

**Okay, so here's chapter two! Enjoy!**

**I do not own The Hunger Games.**

* * *

"Finnick, stop staring at her ass," I smack my best friend's arm. His eyes linger on the girl's butt in the regulated orange booty shorts of Hooters. Of course Finnick picked Hooters..

He lazily drags his eyes away from the girl, and back to me. He gulps down some of his beer, and gives me a sorry-but-not-sorry look. "It should be illegal for a girl's ass to look _that_ good."

"Yeah, okay, Finn." I roll my eyes and pick up a Spicy Buffalo Chicken Wing. I take a bite, then set it back down on the plate as my mouth burns. "Shit, those are hot."

Finnick barks a laugh and shakes his head. "C'mon, Peet! Suck it up."

I down the rest of my beer, and the burning subsides leaving a tingly feeling on my tongue. "Whatever." I mumble.

"So, have you talked Katniss since the coffee _non-date_?" Finnick waggles his eyebrows, and my cheeks heat up. He's been bugging me since he walked in on me practicing what I'd say to Katniss if I saw her again. "All that mirror practice wasn't put to use? Peeta-" He stops talking when the girl with 'illegally' fine ass comes to fill our beer mugs.

"More beer, gentlemen?" She asks with a sly smile. She knows what she's doing.

I nod, but Finnick clears his throat, and the girl turns to him. "Ah, now I have a better view of your eyes.. You're eyes are beautiful." He winks.

"Thank you..." she trails off, silently asking for his name.

"Finnick Odair." he says with a grin, "And you are?"

She says, "Rachel."

"Well, _Rachel,_ may I ask, do you know a good eye doctor?" Finnick asks with his charming, white-toothed smile. I cover my mouth with my hand to keep from snorting. _Oh God, not this one..._ "Because there must be something wrong with my eyes.. I can't take them off of you."

Rachel grabs our mugs, and says, "I don't. But you might want to get that checked out, _Finnick._" And she turns away, leaving Finnick speechless. I burst out into laughter.

"Shut up, Peeta!" Finnick whines.

I clutch my stomach from laughing, and after when I calm down, I look up at his flushed, confused face. "First time the amazing Finnick Odair has not charmed his way into a girl's pants."

"At least I had the guts to try!" Finnick retorts. "You saw the girl you've been madly in love with for – what, nine years now? - and you were too much of a pussy to make a move! So, if I were you, I'd shove that smirk up your ass."

I run a hand through my hair and glare at him. "That is totally different, you asshole. She broke my heart-"

"_Pussy,_" Finnick fake coughs.

"You know what," I say and stand up from the booth. "I'm gonna go talk to her." I drop a fifty dollar bill on the table. "There. I paid for your beers, and please be nice to this Rachel girl."

Finnick smirks. "I'm always nice to my ladies."

I roll my eyes and walk out of the restaurant/bar.

* * *

**Katniss POV**

"Peeta? _Peeta Mellark?_" Madge's eyes widen. "No.. way! You guys were like crazy for each other in Junior and Senior year.."

Madge and I were best friends since the eighth grade. When I left town after graduation, I didn't even tell her about it. But she had found out what happened from her father. He was in the Legislative Assembly, and had heard about my father's sickness through others. She managed to figure out that my family had gone off to Virginia, and attended the same university as me. At first I tried to distance myself from her, but when my father passed, I broke down and she was there. When we finished schooling, and got our teaching degrees, my mother passed too. So, Madge, Prim and I moved back here, North Carolina, just last year. Prim's still studying to be a doctor, and shares an apartment with her friend, Rue.

"I know..." I say and get up from the floor to make popcorn.

"Have you told him why?" She asks referring to why I broke up with him all those years ago. She follows me into my small kitchen, and I don't meet her eyes. "Katniss, you're not being fair to him. Or yourself. You just left him wondering all these years! I started talking to Gale recently... He was telling me about how Finnick told him that Peeta was a wreck after Grad."

I set the microwave for 2 minutes, and turn back to her. "Madge, that was like six years ago. I'm sure he's over it."

"You guys were crazy in love with one another. I'm a believer in love that never dies." Madge looks through my cupboards for a bowl, and pulls one out. She hands it to me, and I pull out the hot bag of popcorn and pour it in the bowl.

We return to our spots on the living room floor, since my couch has yet to arrive. "You know, I miss those days in the eighth grade when you barely talked. Those were good days." I smirk.

"Oh, shut up." She rolls her eyes with a grin.

I grab a handful of popcorn and have my red pen in the other hand. I look down at the creative writing assignments I assigned my new Junior class a few days ago. It was just a short paper about themselves, so I could get to know them better.

"So," I say casually while circling a misspelled word. "When did you and Gale start talking?" In high school, I always thought Gale would ask out Madge, but he never did, though it was clear they both liked each other. And then Graduation came, I left, Madge left, so nothing ever happened.

I sneak a look from the paper to Madge, and her cheeks are red. "I had a picture on Instagram of me and my father at that _Project Build A Shelter_ thing, and I was wearing our old school sweatshirt. He had commented saying "hey, we're matching" and on his news feed was a picture of him wearing the same one."

"So, you're saying an old high school sweatshirt reignited the spark?" I ask with a raised eyebrow. She blushes more, and I laugh.

She throws some popcorn at me. "Shut it, Everdeen. I don't need you mocking me." She looks down at her phone and then stands up. "I should get going though. It's past nine, and we have work tomorrow."

I follow her to the door, and she grabs her purse, then slips on her flip flops. She runs her hand through her hair, and looks in the mirror by my door. I raise my eyebrows and stifle a laugh.

"Tell Gale I said hi," I say with a smirk. I open the door, and then her eyes widen. "What-" I turn around, and my breath hitches when I see who's there.

"Peeta?" Madge and I say. His hand is raised, like he was about to knock, so he slowly lowers it.

"Madge?" She runs up and tackles him into a hug. "Whoa,"

She pulls away and looks him over. "Peeta! Oh my God, I've missed you!"

He chuckles and she does too. They almost look like siblings; they're straight golden hair, sharp blue eyes, slightly tan skin.

"I'd love to catch up, but I've got to go." She slides past him and smiles. "We'll catch up soon, alright? Okay, see you guys later!" I watch her quickly retreat down the hall, and just before she disappears down the stairway, she winks at me.

"Peeta, hey." I breathe out. I step aside and gesture inside. "Want to come in? There's plenty of floor."

Peeta nervously rubs his neck and shrugs. "Uh, yeah.. Sure?"

**Peeta POV**

She leads me into the couch-less living room, and we both sit against the wall. I eye the papers on the ground, and Katniss neatly stacks them, moving them out of the way. It's quiet, neither of us wanting to speak, whether or not we know what to say. But I start to think about how we first met.

"_Alright class, I'll be giving your seating plan today. Your table partner will be your lab partner for the rest of the semester." Mr. Lewis, the chemistry teacher, says. He starts calling names, but I don't listen because I keep sneaking peeks at Katniss Everdeen. I've had a fascination, or crush, if you will, on her since the day I saw her picking dandelions at recess in the second grade- "Mellark!"_

"_Huh?" I snap out of my dreams. Chuckles are heard throughout the class, and a few of my buddies shove my shoulder from nearby._

_Mr. Lewis points to the table at the back. "You may go to your assigned spot." I walk from the front to the back table, and plop down on a stool. "Katniss, you're next to Mellark."_

_My heart nearly bursts out of my chest while she walks over to the table. Her wavy, brown hair is out of its usual braid and tied up in a ponytail with her bangs at the side. She's wearing a simple grey hoodie, dark skinny jeans, and I will myself to look away. But as I do, her grey eyes catch my blue, and we hold our stare for a moment, then I quickly look down with hot cheeks._

_Katniss sits down beside me, and I'm very conscious of the faint smell of vanilla. Everything about her consumes me; her smell, how close she is to me..._

"_Alright, class. Lets get started!" Mr. Lewis says from the whiteboard. I blink a few times, and realize that everyone has been seated in the midst of my thoughts. There aren't many kids in this class, about 15 maybe. Chemistry is an optional course. "So, lets review about Polyatomic bonds, shall we?"_

_Mr. Lewis begins drawing different models on the board, the differences between Ionic, Covalent, and Polyatomic. I zone out and begin sketching some random park in my notebook._

"_My God, this so boring." A girl loudly whispers from the front of the room, making me zone back into the lesson._

_From the corner of my eye, Katniss snorts, and then quickly covers her mouth with her fist. She quietly chuckles, and I turn to her. "Are you alright?" I whisper. Holy shit, I just spoke to Katniss Everdeen._

_She turns to me, and my heart beats loudly. "Yeah. But that girl is stupid."_

"_Well, yeah." I say trying to sound calm. Glimmer, the girl who'd just whispered loudly, was not known to be the sharpest pencil in the pack._

"_It's chemistry, it's not supposed to be fun. And God is a myth." She explains quietly._

_I turn to her with surprise. "Why do you say that?"_

"_C'mon, if God was real, there wouldn't be famines with kids dying, wouldn't be wars.. the world would be good."_

_I stare at her; her grey eyes calculating and bright, her smile soft and gentle. And I'm a goner._

"_That's an interesting perspective." I whisper dumbfounded. This girl.. Katniss is quite something. "Maybe you just have to look for the good."_

_She raises her eyebrows and shakes hear head. "I'm starting to doubt that there is any good in this world."_

"_You're just looking in all the wrong places." I say boldly. Oh jeez, I'm talking to Katniss..._

"_And where do you suggest I look?" She asks with a shy, yet challenging smirk._

_I muster up all my courage and shrug nonchalantly. "Well, if you want to be really precise, there's always good at locker 239 just before lunch. Except on Wednesdays and Fridays, the good can be found in the art room."_

"_Is that so?" she asks while turning back to face the front, a small grin on her lips. I nod and see her watch me from the corner of her eyes. "Now that's an interesting perspective."_

_A wide smile stretches across my face and I turn back to doodling, though my mind is on the girl next to me._

That day, Wednesday, I was in the art room at lunch, painting. She ended up coming, and was amazed by my paintings. Every Wednesday and Friday she came, we talked, laughed and got to know each other. And that's how we started...

"Remember that one time when we snuck into the teacher's lounge and stole pizza?" I ask breaking the silence.

Katniss looks to the side at me, and laughs. "Yeah! And then the principal chased us down the hall, so we hid in the Janitor's closet for forty minutes,"

"Wasn't that the same day when we snuck back into your house past curfew?" I ask with a chuckle, remembering that day.

"Oh my gosh, yes! That was how you broke your arm. 'Cause my... dad came into the room, and you climbed out the window, fell and broke your arm." Her eyes light up at the memory, but I notice the way she hesitates when talking about her dad.

I press my fist to my mouth to stop my laughter, but we both start laughing. "The stuff we did back then.." Memories of our first date, first kiss, first _time_, come to mind.

"We were pretty crazy." She says quietly.

"Crazy in love-" I cover my mouth, and shake my head. "Sorry... That- Uh, slipped out."

I chance a glance at her, and we hold each other's gaze. Her grey eyes are just a little less bright, still calculating though. Her nose is still has the small freckles that I loved.._love._

"We were that, too." She finally says after a minute.

_I still am, _I almost say.

"Katniss?" I ask, and she nods for me to continue. "I've missed you." I breathe out.

She looks down at the floor. "Um, I've missed you, too.."

"So, still see the good in the world?"

She shrugs and shakes her head. "No. Not since I was eighteen."

_Eighteen..._ We were eighteen. Then she broke up with me, and left.

"You're looking in the wrong places again." I tell her while I stand up from the floor. She follows me, and we stop just by her door. I open it, and though I don't want to ever let Katniss out of my sight again, I have to go since I have work tomorrow. "Room 615 is a good place to look."

"Is that so?" She asks, and then her face contorts and she laughs quietly.

I feel a smile stretch across my lips. "You said that when we first met."

"You remember that?"

I go to brush a strand of lose hair behind her ear, but I quickly stop myself and stuff my hand in my pocket. I give her a lopsided grin, and she bites down on her bottom lip.

"I remember everything about you."

* * *

**A/n: And there is chapter 2!**

**We'll learn more about Katniss's father later on, probably chapter five.**

**Did you guys see what I did there? With the conversation that they had when they first met, and how there was a very similar one near the end when the re-met. ;)**

**I hope you liked the bits of Madge and Finnick I added in this story. I was kinda thinking about having a Finnick and Madge relationship. Just for something different. I know it seems as though Gale and Madge are together right now but... What do you all think? I really want to do that. (they obviously aren't the main couple. They're just for background plot.)**

**Review or PM me your thoughts!**


	3. Chapter 3

_I wanna love you and treat you right;__  
__I wanna love you every day and every night:__  
__We'll be together with a roof right over our heads;__  
__We'll share the shelter of my single bed;__  
__We'll share the same room, yeah - for Jah provide the bread.__  
_

_Is this love - is this love - is this love -__  
__Is this love that I'm feelin'?__  
__Is this love - is this love - is this love -__  
__Is this love that I'm feelin'?__  
__I wanna know - wanna know - wanna know now!__  
__I got to know - got to know - got to know now!_

_I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I - I'm willing and able,__  
__So I throw my cards on your table.__  
__I wanna love you - I wanna love and treat - love and treat you right;__  
__I wanna love you every day and every night:__  
__We'll be together, yeah! - with a roof right over our heads;__  
__We'll share the shelter, yeah, oh now! - of my single bed;__  
__We'll share the same room, yeah! - for Jah provide the bread._

_Is this love - is this love - is this love -__  
__Is this love that I'm feelin'?__  
__Is this love - is this love - is this love -__  
__Is this love that I'm feelin'?_

"_You're quite the dancer, Mr. Mellark." Katniss smirks while I hold both of her hands in mine as we dance around my small room. I grin while Bob Marley fills the room._

"_I've been told."_

_She raises her eyebrows as we sway. "By who?"_

"_Uh, you?" I smirk, "Just five seconds ago."_

_The corners of her mouth lift without consent, and two dimples form on her cheeks. She lets out a very un-Katniss giggle. "Clever. Really, how do you do it?"_

_I shrug and send her a lopsided grin. She rolls her eyes playfully, and I quietly hum to the song. Katniss smiles up at me, and I feel my heartbeat speed up even after eight months of being with her. "I'm happy we finally met in Chem at the beginning of this school year."_

"_Me too," her smile widens. "You were so cute when you got all red-faced." I laugh and feel my cheeks heat up. "Awe, see! You're so cute."_

_I roll my eyes and we stop dancing, and lay on my bed. We lay side by side with our hands entwined. "I've liked you since the second grade."_

_Katniss flips onto her side, and I do the same to face her. We prop up on an elbow, and rest our heads on our palms. Her eyes are wide, and a grin is on her lips. "No! Really?"_

"_Really." I say, "At recess I saw you picking dandelions in the field. All the other girls were picking daisies, but there you were – with your hair in one braid, a whole whack of dandelions in your tiny little hands."_

_A blush spreads across her cheeks. "How'd you remember that?"_

_I shrug, but she leans in, and so do I. Our lips meet, and it's quick and gentle, but it manages to give me little swirls in my stomach. "Everyday I'd race outside at lunch time to get a dandelion before you got there, then just before you got in after lunch, I'd sneak it in your desk."_

_Her eyes widen and she looks me over for a good minute. "You were the one who did that?" I nod. "I don't think you realized how happy those dandelions made me."_

"_Oh, I did. I watched you walk home everyday with that day's dandelion tucked behind your ear. I remember how your eyes would widen every time you opened your desk to see a new dandelion there." I say softly._

"_You... but-"_

_I interrupt with a gentle smile. "Katniss, I remember everything about you." I say and brush her cheek with my thumb. "You're the one who wasn't paying attention."_

_I lean in and claim her lips. She leans onto her back, and I hover over her. We pull apart to quickly catch our breath, but then I kiss her again with more passion and love. Love.._

"_Katniss," I break the kiss and stare into her grey eyes. "I'm in love with you. I... I love you."_

_Her eyes search mine, and then she says, "I love you, Peeta."_

_My smile stretches so wide, I feel as if my cheeks are going numb. She pulls me back into the kiss, and we have to break apart again because we're both smiling. "Since that day in Chem... I was a goner." _

_I quickly kiss her again, then she says, "That day you told me that too many artists try too hard to paint what others want, but you paint from your soul, what you want – that's the day I fell in love with you."_

"_That was a month after we met." I say quietly, still looking down at her._

"_You're easy to fall in love with," she shrugs with a shy smile._

_We kiss again, but it becomes more and more heated as we continue. Her shirt starts riding up, and my hand lightly rests on the bare skin of her hip. She presses a kiss to my jaw, and I start to kiss her collar bone._

"_Peeta," she pulls back slightly. "Um... are we..." she trails off._

_I raise my eyebrows. "Do you want to?" I whisper gently._

"_Yes... with you." She says quietly. "I want to with you."_

"_Okay," I say and kiss her lips gently. "I love you."_

_She brings me into a kiss, and whispers against my lips, "I love you, too."_

_While our lips and tongues collide, she starts pulling up my shirt. I pull it off, and then she raises her arms so I can take her shirt off. We break the kiss quickly to remove more clothes, and her eyes catch mine a few times, and I can't help but smile tenderly at her as we continue._

Katniss was my first, and I was her's. We gave each other something that couldn't be taken back. When I told her that I loved her that night, I meant it. I thought I'd be with her forever. Why did she leave? Why did she break my heart?

I rest my head on the steering wheel of my SUV. I take a few deep breaths before getting out, and walking into the school. I make a quick stop in the teacher's room to grab a donut before my first class.

"Oh, Peeta!" I cringe at the high shrill of the guidance counsellor's voice. Her heels click from one end of the room to where I am.

I fake a smile and turn to her. "Yes, Effie?"

She gives me a baffled look. "Those pamphlets about manners that I gave you on Tuesday to hand out to your students, none of the students got them!"

_Oh, shit. I forgot!_ "Oh God, sorry, Effie. I forgot to hand them out at the end of class on Tuesday. They're on my desk, I'll make sure to hand them out today."

"Ah, yes. I see," she says curtly. "Forgetfulness, Peeta. Maybe you should have a look at one of those pamphlets." She turns on her heel and clicks her way out of the room.

I follow behind her after I grab a chocolate donut, and mutter, "Will do... _not_."

After I climb the stairs to my English classroom on the second floor, I walk in and finish the last bite of my donut just as the 5-minute-before-class bell rings. I take a seat in my chair at my desk at the front of the room, and watch as the student's desks fill with kids. The second bell rings signalling class start.

I walk over to the door and close it. I take a seat on the edge of my desk and hold the stack of _Manners_ pamphlets in one hand. "Who loves Fridays?" I ask. The class cheers and they all raise their hands. "Right? Me, too. Like, I get to come into work wearing _normal clothes._" I motion to my black Radiohead hoodie and khaki pants.

"Mr. Mellark," a guy calls out. "You dress _normal_ everyday."

I laugh and nod. "Yes, _but_ it's only exceptional on Fridays." The students laugh again and I crumple up one of the pamphlets and shoot it like a basketball into the recycling bin. "Ms. Trinket wanted me to hand out these pamphlets on manners... but I say we play a little recycling ball to start off a Friday?"

"Yeah!" Most of my class cheers.

"Okay, so you each get a pamphlet, and you have to ask someone else an _appropriate _question, then the person who answers gets to shoot. Alright?" I explain as I hand the leaflets down the aisles. "Who wants to go first?"

Lindsey, who I ran into at Starbucks with Katniss, raises her hand and shares a mischievous look with Sarah. "I have a question for you, Mr. Mellark." I raise one eyebrow and she continues, "Who was that girl that you were with at Starbucks on Saturday? Girlfriend?"

My eyes widen, and a few giggles sound throughout the room. "Uh..." I stammer, and clear my throat. "How about we get through this activity-"

"C'mon, Mr. Mellark. It's a Friday! Tell us a story," Sarah chimes in.

I sigh and pick up my iPad from the desk. I connect the iPad's screen to the Smartboard's projector, and pull up the drawing app. "Okay, I guess I'll be creative and tell you with added visuals." I say looking up at the class. "I am some of your guys' Art teacher, too." Before I start telling them, I look them over seriously. "I'm simply telling you guys an educational literature story, and it stays between us. Okay?"

They all nod vigorously, and I get up to turn off the lights. I sit back on my desk with the glow of the iPad and projector as the only sources of light. I pick up my touch screen pencil/stick thing and begin to draw. I start by drawing out the Chemistry room. And I begin to tell them as I draw.

"I was in the eleventh grade, and my first class of that year was Chemistry. We had gotten a seating plan, and my teacher sat the most beautiful girl, also my crush, right next to me as my lab partner." I draw Katniss and I sitting on the lab stools, I make sure to use colour to shade in her grey eyes. "We ended up talking, and I told her I paint on Wednesdays and Fridays."

I clear the page and begin drawing the art room with Katniss and I sitting there with speech bubbles saying _I'm Peeta,_ and _I'm Katniss._ Then I clear the page again and begin drawing us with a small heart just beneath us. I set the iPad down and tell them more.

"We fell in love and dated all through that school year, through the summer, and then even our Senior year... right until the last day." I say quietly, and a few of the girls gasp and whisper _oh my God_, reminding me of Katniss. "The day before Grad, she broke it off and left after the ceremony. I didn't know where she went, I tried to find out, but I never did."

It's quiet in the room, you could hear a pin drop. I look over their faces; some are shocked with wide eyes and slack jaws, others look sad – like they had just watched a Nicholas Sparks movie.

"And the other day I ran into her – literally ran into her – and I asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. And that's that."

"That's so sad..." Sarah says quietly. I nod and shrug. "Are you still in love with her?"

I give a sad grin. "Now that's enough story telling for today. See you guys later," I say just as the bell rings.

The class clears out, but Sarah and Lindsey trail behind, and stop at my desk. "I say you fight for her, Mr. Mellark!"

"Even though she hurt you, I agree. It's obvious you still love her!" Sarah adds in. I shrug and they quickly leave the classroom. I sit back on my chair and think, _Maybe they have a point._

* * *

"Finnick, this crazy," I say into my phone as I drive into Greywell Collegiate's parking lot.

"Peeta, just do it, alright?" Finnick sighs, "Just ask her why, and ask her out."

I take a deep breath and park in an empty spot. "Okay, okay. Thanks, Finn." He says no problem, and we hang up. I get out of the car and hope that she doesn't teach a lunch class.

"Hi, um, I'm here to see Katniss – Ms. Everdeen." I stutter out to the secretary.

"And who may you be, sir?" She asks politely. Of course they're not just going to let a random stranger in their school.

I pull out my Teacher ID card from around my neck and show her. "I'm Peeta Mellark, I teach at Burnley High. Katniss is an old friend. Just thought I'd drop by to see how she's doing.."

"Ah, yes." She says and clicks away at her computer. "I believe she is in Room 102 right now. Would you like me to call her down, or are you fine with going to the room yourself?"

I smile and shake my head. "I'm good to find it on my own. Thank you!" I call out as I leave the main office. I look at the first classroom I see, and it's room 100, so room 102 is probably just down the hall. I continue down the hallway passing a few girls who giggle and smile at me. I keep walking with my head down until I get to 102.

I look in the door to see her sitting at a desk with her brows furrowed and her teeth biting down on her lip. Her pen absently swirls in her hand as she looks down at papers on her desk. I knock on her door, and her head snaps up.

"Peeta?" Katniss asks with shock. "What're you doing here...?"

I stand awkwardly at the door. "I...uh.. I came to talk."

"About?" She asks skeptically.

"About us... How everything went down." I say while looking at the ground, "Katniss, you've been on my mind since I was seven years old, I just need to know why this all happened."

She sighs and pushes away from the desk. "Peeta..."

"I'll buy you a chocolate milk?" I bribe.

* * *

"My students are going to talk and be annoying little shits," Katniss mutters as we walk into the cafeteria to buy chocolate. When we walk past tables of students, and sure enough, they start whispering and looking at Katniss and I.

I shrug and say, "Not as bad as my class this morning."

Katniss raises her eyebrows, but turns to the cafeteria canteen lady. "Hey Sae, can I get two chocolate milks?"

The lady, Sae, smiles and turns to the fridge to grab the milk. Katniss goes to pull out her wallet, and I quickly put down four dollars. "I said _I'd_ _buy_ the chocolate milk."

"Here you go, Ms. Everdeen." Sae says and put the milk cartons in front of us. She takes the four dollars, and we walk away. Stares follow us until we exit the cafeteria, and we walk back to room 102. Katniss closes the door behind us, and points to the desks.

"Take a seat, any seat." She says, and I take a seat in the student desk right across from her desk. "You are going to hate me."

"Impossible," I say without missing a beat. "I could never hate you."

_I might still love you._

She sighs and sips her chocolate milk. "I really did love you."

She _did_ love me. Past-tense... Who am I kidding? Of course she wouldn't still be in love with me.

"So, why did you leave then?" I almost beg for an answer. "Why?"

"Peeta," she says quietly without meeting my eyes. "My father got sick.. Cancer."

Her father... Had cancer? Why didn't she tell me? Why didn't I notice? Is that why whenever I went over there, he would always be napping? Pain, sadness, and frustration fill me.

I wait for her to look up at me, and when she does, she looks like she's on the verge of tears. So I take a gentle approach.. "Katniss, I'm so sorry. So sorry..."

"He passed on July 21st." She whispers. "He was diagnosed a week before Grad. It tore my mother apart, she just went into a shell. She had loved him so much that she couldn't function with out him." Her eyes drop down to her desk. "I was scared, and I didn't want to rely on you, Peeta. I saw what love did to my mother, and I couldn't go through that. Dad didn't want chemo, so we left after Grad. "

I sigh and rub my face. She couldn't tell me after almost two years of dating? I could've been there for her! I would've held her when she cried... An image of an alone, crying Katniss at her father's funeral makes me uneasy. I should've been there to hold her. To dry her tears and tell her it will be okay, we have each other. But none of that happened...

"We dated for almost two years... Why didn't you tell me?" I ask. "You just left me without an explanation."

She manages to say, "I did it _because_ I loved you, okay? I was scared, too."

"I still love you!" I say loudly, trying to make a point. My eyes widen at what had just came out of my mouth, and Katniss's do, too. The bell rings signalling lunch is over, so I quickly get up and bolt out of the room.

_Shit!_

Now I've ruined everything.

Maybe having my heart broken by Katniss Everdeen a second time won't hurt as much.

* * *

**a/n: I know it seems OOC for Katniss to tell Peeta about why she left (partly), but in this story, it's not like they're strangers. They have a history, so it fits.**

**Hope this isn't moving too fast for you all, but this part had to happen early on to help shape the plot. **

**Check out the poll on my profile for this story.**

**Thanks to all of you who have reviewed and followed! Means so much.**


	4. Chapter 4

**Read the note at the bottom!**

**I don't own The Hunger Games.**

* * *

"You told her you still love her?" Finnick asks slowly. I pace around my bare living room that only holds a couch, table and TV. I nod, and Finnick chuckles. "Shiiit, Peeta."

"Shut up! This isn't funny, you prick." I snap. Finnick laughs more, and with a sigh I slump down next to him on the couch.

"Peeta, calm down, man." Finnick says calmly. "What if she feels the same?"

I rub my eyes and groan. "Obviously she doesn't, Finnick! Sorry, I'm not like you where I can just charm my way into a girl's heart!"

Finnick raises his eyebrows and cross his arms. "Really? Then, explain to me how you made Katniss fall in love with you in the first place." I stare at him, and he waves his hand, prompting for answer. "Come on. Tell me, Peet." He shoves my shoulder.

"I..." I trail off slightly. "I was just myself?"

"Exactly!" Finnick jumps up and snaps his fingers. "You have _natural_ charm. You can charm girls without even trying to!"

I scoff and lean further into the couch with my arms crossed over my chest, and my shoulder hunched up. "Yeah, _okay._"

"You-" Finnick is cut off by the sound of someone knocking on my door. We share a look. "Maybe that's Katniss! Come to confess her love for you, Lover boy!" Finnick mocks dramatically.

He races to the door, and I jump off the couch after him. He struggles with the lock, so I try to push him away.

"Finnick, get out of here!" I hiss quietly as he pushes me back. He smirks and unlocks the door. When he opens it, I'm met with a pair of blue eyes to match my own, not the grey eyes I was hoping for. "Madge?"

Madge barely acknowledges me as she stares at Finnick with shock. Finnick stares back, but when I blink, their stares have turned into glares. Oh yeah, Finnick and Madge never got along in high school. Madge thought Finnick was an arrogant, overly cocky man-whore. Finnick thought Madge was a selfish, shallow blonde girl. Clearly neither of them decided to get to know each other, because those thoughts could not be more wrong.

It's all about perception and how you want to see others. See, Madge didn't know that Finnick had dated a girl named Annie Cresta from eighth grade until the end of ninth grade, when she passed away from cancer. I didn't know Finnick then, but after her death Finnick moved from California to North Carolina. He and I met at the beginning of Sophomore year. Finnick was a sex-god to girls starting in grade ten. He started to use the girls as a way to forget about Annie, to fill the void in his heart. Now, at twenty-five years old, he has not forgotten Annie, but has gotten over her. But his girl-using days are now just a way to cope with the emptiness.

Finnick didn't know much about Madge before he made his verdict on her. He didn't know that Madge's mother died in a car accident while protecting Madge from the airbag. Finnick didn't think that Madge's preppy attitude was a front to cover up her guilt and sadness. She had to go to counselling to get over the guilt of her mom's death. Madge wasn't shallow or selfish either, she volunteered every weekend at the local soup kitchen, and donated her clothes. She has a heart of gold, not an ice cold heart like Finnick thought.

"Madge Undersee," Finnick says slowly, his glare not faltering.

"Finnick Odair." Madge says back evenly. Her eyes narrow slightly before she rolls them, and turns to me. Her glare immediately drops, and she smiles with a hint of worry. "Peeta, do you know what's up with Katniss?"

Finnick snorts, causing Madge to turn and glare at him. "Oh yeah, he sure knows what's up. Don't ya, Peet?"

I shove Finnick, and stomp over to the couch. I flop down on it, and Madge and Finnick come over, still sneaking glares at each other. Madge takes a seat next to me, and Finnick huffs standing where he is.

"What happened?" She asks softly.

"I told her... that I still love her." I cover my face and groan. _How could I be so dumb? _"It's okay, though. She has broken my heart once before, I think I can handle it again."

Madge stares at me for a bit, not looking shocked at all by my revelation. "Peeta, deep down, I think she still loves you, too."

"Sure, Madge." My voice is dripping with sarcasm.

"Let her sort things out, okay? Katniss went through a rough time, she just needs a little time to just... figure it out." Madge says calmly.

Finnick scoffs. "Wow, Peet, you have your own personal therapist! Anything that you can't do, Undersee?"

"Well, I can't stand you." Madge says in a sickly sweet voice.

I roll my eyes. "Will you guys stop? Have you ever stopped being assholes to each other, and actually get to know one another?" Madge and Finnick stare at me with raised eyebrows. "Finnick, did you ever stop to think that Madge isn't a stuck-up blonde? And Madge, did you ever try to get to know Finnick and learn that he isn't just a player?"

Both of their eyes flit to the floor, much like two school children who were just yelled at. Finnick pulls out the rope from his pocket, and starts tying elaborate knots. It's a way to keep his mind off things. Madge picks at a lose thread on her jeans.

"Well?" I prompt.

"No," They both mumble at the same time.

I stand up from the couch. "Yeah, well maybe you should do something about that." Before they can answer, I'm out the door and down the hallway at apartment 602. I knock twice and look down.

Maybe I should go... Katniss won't want to see me.

I'm about to turn around, but the door opens, and I see her. She's wearing sweats and a t-shirt, and she's never looked more beautiful. _Stop it._

"Uh.. Peeta?" She stammers quietly.

"Katniss.. hi. Um.. I just wanted to say that I was completely out of line to just show up at your work, demand you tell me why you left, and then confess _my feelings_." I say in rapid fire. "And I'll understand if you want to, like, punch me, or something."

And Katniss surprises me by cracking the smallest grin. "I don't want to punch you, or something." I feel sad at how she doesn't confess her love for me, and I mask my emotions. Katniss frowns, "Peeta, I'm sorry... I just... I need to just be on my own."

"What?" I ask, confused.

"I can tell you're sad." She says, and my brows furrow. How could she know that I was sad? "Your eyes. I could always tell what you were feeling by your eyes." She says again, answering my unasked question.

I shrug and try to play it off with a laugh. "Hey, it doesn't matter, right? We've been apart for six years, I'm sure it's just some longing crush." My face contorts as I say those words, trying to convince myself. A flash of hurt crosses Katniss's face, which confuses me even more.

"...yeah." She whispers.

I nod and turn to leave, with a few steps away, Katniss calls me. "Peeta," I turn around, and she says, "You look good." Her cheeks turn a slight shade of red.

"You've always looked good." I say back with a sad smile. I turn away from her and walk down the hallway, willing myself not to turn around. I walk back into the apartment, Madge and Finnick sit on opposite ends of the couch on their phones. At least they're not fighting.

"What happened?" Finnick asks and locks his phone. Madge does the same, and frowns. I don't say anything, I just take a seat on the ground against the wall. Finnick stares at me intently for a few seconds before disappearing into my kitchen. He comes back with a case of beer, handing one to Madge and me. I twist off the cap easily, and take a big sip while Madge stares at hers with a wrinkled nose. "Bottoms up, Undersee." Finnick says to her.

"I don't like beer." She says back with a contorted face.

"And I don't care." Finnick retorts back. "Now drink."

Madge twists off the cap, and takes her first sip with a grimace. But after her second sip, the grimace fades and she seems to tolerate it. Finnick smirks and takes a swig. Madge notices his smirk, and glares.

"Sorry, is this different from your fancy Cabernet Sauvignon wine, Rich Girl?" Finnick mocks with a smirk, knowing that he's pushing Madge's buttons.

"That wine is probably really popular with the girls you use. They all sit around and talk about how much of an asshole you are." Madge quips back, and Finnick's smirk is wiped off his face.

He ignores her and sips his beer. Madge gulps down the rest of her beer, and I reach for my second. I shotgun down the beer, and quickly reach for a third one. Finnick and Madge share a look, and they slowly reach for their second ones.

"Slow down, Peet." Finnick says with a raised eyebrow.

I stare him down with a hard look. "Sorry, but I just need time to sort things out." I mock Katniss's words.

Madge figures it out, and sighs. "Peeta, just try to see where she's coming from, okay?"

"She isn't the only messed up one, Madge!" I snap. "She's not the only one who's experienced Hell."

"Yeah, but she hasn't gotten over it yet." Madge says back with an edge to her voice. "You need to understand that she's not just going to spring into your arms. We're not teenagers anymore."

"She has a point, man." Finnick says, agreeing with Madge for the first time. Madge is shocked, and the look on Finn's face makes me believe that he is, too.

I roll my eyes with my confusion turning into anger that isn't needed. "You think that just because you're hanging out with Gale that you're some relationship expert?" I ask defensively. And I look at Finnick. "And you think since you've been with more girls than days you've been alive, that you know everything, too?"

With the hurt expressions on their faces, I feel my anger dissipate. I run a hand through my hair and sigh. "I'm sorry... I'm sorry. Okay? I didn't mean that. I just..." I trail off and rest my head against the wall. "I love her, I love her, _I love her._"

They both get up, and I think they're going to leave. But instead of leaving, they both come and take a seat on either side of me. "We know you do. We know," Finnick says quietly while patting my shoulder.

"Give her time." Madge says softly. "I know you just want to go and kiss her and be with her, but you have to wait. Wait until she's ready."

Of course I'd wait for Katniss. I've been waiting six years already, I'm used to it. But it's just hard to know that she's down the hall alone and not with me. It's hard to think about how easy it'd be to go kiss her. She's so close, yet so far.

"It was so easy for us to fall in love before." I say, "Why can't it be that easy now?"

"We grow up," Finnick says wistfully. And maybe he's thinking of Annie right now. "We have to face things that we never had to back then." I look over at Finnick, and his eyes flicker briefly over to Madge. From the corner of my eye, I see Madge look up at him, too. But they both look down at the same time.

"The best things in life are worth waiting for." Madge says with a small smile.

And Finnick cracks a grin, too. "I'm gonna have to agree with Undersee again."

"Thanks guys," I say sincerely. "I'm like a hormonal teenage girl."

"You're lucky you've never actually had to experience that first hand." Madge says with a chuckle. "Girls have it so hard, you know."

Finnick scoffs and rolls his eyes. "Yeah, okay. Try dealing with..._erections_ in public."

"Maybe you shouldn't be such a pervert then." Madge says back with a victorious grin.

They start to argue back and forth, then I hear a knock at the door. I get up and leave the two of them to their argument. I take a sip of my beer while opening the door, and I nearly spit it out when I see it's her.

"Katniss?"

And before she can answer, Finnick's voice rings out. "Kitty-Kat!"

He pushes past me, and engulfs Katniss in a bear hug. Katniss looks shocked at first, but then she wraps her arms around him and laughs. They pull apart, and Katniss smiles. "Finn!"

"I'm glad you didn't forget _your best friend_," He says, his eyes flickering over to Madge with a smirk.

"Shut up, Finnick." Madge snaps and glares at him. Katniss looks down at the floor, and a shifts from foot to foot awkwardly. Madge notices, and she grabs Finnick's shirt. "Help me grab some drinks from the kitchen." She demands and pulls him off, leaving me and Katniss. Alone.

Katniss holds out her fist, and hesitantly I hold my hand out, palm up. "This is yours," she whispers quietly, almost sadly. The cold object falls into my hand, and I look down at it.

It's the gold locket I gave her for our one year anniversary. It had a picture of us together on one side, and on the other side it was a little paper fit to the shape of the locket, with a handwritten _I love you, always_.

"No, it's yours. I gave it to you." I croak out. The pain of my heart slamming against my chest is almost too painful.

Katniss thinks she's been through Hell? She isn't the only one! While she left me alone, I had to deal with everything on my own. I needed her, and she clearly needed me, too.

"And I'm giving it to you."

"Where were you when I needed you, Katniss?" I ask, not with anger, with emptiness – my voice is hollow. "What about when you needed me? _We needed each other_."

"I told you what was going on, Peeta!" She snaps with furiousness. Her cheeks turn red with anger. Katniss has always had a temper.

I clench on to the locket in my hand. "Yeah, but what about what _I_ was going through? What about when I came home from University to find my father on the ground, bloody and beaten?" I say with an edge to my voice. "When my mother skipped town after leaving my father bloody and beaten? When my father was checked into a home for the disabled?"

Katniss covers her mouth with a shaky hand, and guilt overcomes me. I shouldn't be trying to make her feel guilty, I shouldn't be angry with her. She did what she did. It's over. We're done, and there's nothing I can do. And maybe that's the reason for my outbursts at Madge and Katniss. Maybe it's because I know it's completely over.

"I'm sorry." I whisper before turning on my heel and speed-walking to my room. I lock the bedroom door for good measure, and sit on the edge of my bed with locket still in my hand. I pull out my cellphone, and the ring echoes in my ear after I punch in a number.

"Hello?"

I let out a breath, and my shoulder slump. "I think I just had a breakdown, Chase."

Chase and I have always been close. I'm close with our oldest brother, Aaron, too, but not like Chase and I. I hear Chase sigh on the other side.

"You okay, Peet?" He asks with concern. "What happened?"

I tell him about running into Katniss, the events of the last week leading up to what had just happened not more than ten minutes ago. "And just thinking about Dad. I haven't visited him since he had a seizure when I went a month ago."

"Dad won't be angry or upset. Don't feel guilty, okay?" He says calmly. "And as for Katniss – wow. I didn't expect that one. Peeta, make her fall in love with you again. You did it once before, right?" I can practically hear the smirk as he says that last part.

"Probably not." I deadpan.

"She's still the same girl, just with a guard up." He says, "It's going to be a little harder than before, but not impossible."

"Maybe." I relent.

Chase sighs, but says no more on the subject. "I hate to do this, but I gotta go, Peet. I have the night shift at work starting in five minutes. I'll give you a call tomorrow, alright?"

"Yeah, cool." I say, "Thanks for listening, Chase."

He laughs. "Anything for you, sweetie."

"Oh, shut up and get going." I say with a chuckle. He laughs and hangs up, leaving me in a slightly better mood than I was in before.

I lay down on my bed, not bothering to show Finnick and Madge out. They're capable of leaving without my help. I hold up the locket, remembering the way Katniss was too shocked to accept it. She yelled at me for spending so much money on her, called me a few colourful names and then left my house. That night, I went to her house and Prim let me in. I went up to Katniss's room, and I barely had the door open before she jumped off her bed and tackled me in a hug with kisses.

"_I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry." She repeats into my neck. I wrap my arms tighter around her waist. "I didn't mean those things I called you. I love the locket. And I love you."_

_I pull away to look at her. "Hey, it's okay. I love you, too."_

_She removes her arms from my neck, and smacks my arm. "You're not allowed to spend that much money on me again. Promise?"_

_I shake my head with a silly grin. "Can't promise."_

"_Why not?" She asks with a scowl._

"_Well, your engagement ring will cost way more than that locket."_

_A blush spreads across her face, but so does a small smile. "You want to marry me?"_

"_Yeah, one day." I say with a goofy smile. "One day soon."_

And my eyes start to droop with sleep, but I still stare at the open locket. Now as I stare at it again, I notice things that I hadn't before. Like, how it opens so easily, after many times of someone opening it up. Or how it looks as though over the time when the _I love you, always _should have faded with the years, it looks like it was just written. Like someone has been retracing it with fresh ink, constantly.

My eyes close, and I have no power over them. The last thing I see before my eyes is the locket; the _I love you, always_ coated in recent black ink is on my mind.

* * *

**A/n: And that's chapter 4!**

**I hope Peeta or Katniss aren't too OOC. Especially Peeta. I know he has outbursts in this chapter, but he did have alcohol, and he felt guilty right after.**

**We also saw a little bit of sassy Katniss, even though it was only for a sentence. But still!**

**And lots of you voted on my poll about Finnick and Madge, saying it doesn't matter or that you would still read. And maybe you saw a bit of a connection between them this chappie. ;)**

**We also learned about Peeta's dad this chapter! We'll learn more about him next chapter, when Peeta goes to visit him.**

**Not as much Peeta and Katniss interaction, next chapter will have more! Everlark will slowly become closer, it takes time.**

**Hope you enjoyed this!**


	5. Chapter 5

**A/n: Sorry it took me a little longer to get this posted!**

**We have Katniss POV for a good chunk of this chapter!**

**Thanks to all who have reviewed, followed, etc..!**

**I do not own The Hunger Games.**

* * *

**Katniss POV**

I was being selfish all these years.

I left Peeta, the sweetest guy out there, without an explanation. And I kept his locket. That was his, and I selfishly kept it. It was the only thing I had left of him. It kept the memories of him fresh in my mind. But it did not keep the feel of his arms wrapped around me, or the way I remember his heart beating as I rested my head on his chest. Now I can't even remember the way it felt to be held by Peeta.

And I wish I remembered.

Peeta will never forgive nor trust me again. Not after I left without an explanation. Not after I broke his heart of gold. His heart was so open, so full of love.

He doesn't love me anymore, it just hasn't caught up to him yet. He doesn't realize that he deserves someone much better than me. A girl who won't run, a girl who won't break his heart.

"Hello, earth to Catnip." Gale says as Madge waves her hand in front of my face. Madge gives me a sympathetic smile, knowing that I'm thinking of Peeta. "You gotta stop zoning out!"

I roll my eyes. "Shut up, Gale. You don't know shit."

"Whoa there," He raises his hands in defense. "Don't bite my head off now."

"Gale, shut up." Madge says seriously, elbowing Gale. He scoffs, and looks away, but his eyes perk up when he watches a rather busty brunette walk by our table. I watch as the brunette turns around and Gale gives her a wink. _What the-_ "What the Hell was that?"

Good thing Madge and I are on the same page.

Gale's my cousin, I love him and all, but he doesn't deserve Madge. Gale's a player, and I don't want Madge's heart to get broken because he can't settle down.

Gale scoffs, and wraps an arm around Madge. "C'mon, Madge. It was a harmless wink. I'm here with you, aren't I?"

Madge pushes his arm off of her shoulders. "That's what you said last weekend, too! Gale, if you can't pick one girl, then what are we doing?"

"I just wanna... have fun. Y'know?" Gale says, making Madge stand up from the table.

"Katniss, let's go." Madge says and begins walking out of the cafe.

I stand up, and Gale huffs. "What about me?"

I give his shoulder a light pat, and say, "Way to go, shithead."

* * *

"I knew... I knew I shouldn't have said yes to that first date!" Madge says angrily while dropping face down on my brown couch that finally arrived. Seeing Madge laying down on my couch reminds me of a time when we were younger.

"_So, what shall we do with our spare time, Miss Everdeen?" Peeta says while smirking at me. I grin and raise my eyebrows._

"_Well..." I trail off as Peeta walks over to me, pulling my face to his. Our lips connect, and the butterflies in my stomach flutter around. I break apart from him, looking into his blue, mischievous eyes. "Making out while my father, mother _and_ sister are in the next room? Very rebellious of you."_

_Peeta gives me his cute boyish grin. "It's a shame for them to think I'm such a nice boy."_

"_Don't abuse your power, now. If my dad knew what you were doing right now, he'd kick your ass." I say with a chuckle._

"_He was a teenager once. He is no stranger to a young man's needs, Katniss." Peeta smirks, his blue eyes twinkling in the dim light of my bedroom. _

"_Needs, huh?"_

_Peeta nods and brings his lips back to mine. He pulls apart quickly to say, "I need you like I need water."_

_We continue kissing, his hands grip lightly at my hips while my hands roam his chest-_

_My bedroom door opens loudly. "Ugh!"_

_I barely have time to open my eyes before someone wedges between Peeta and I, pushing us away from each other. My eyes open to see Madge stomp over and flop down face first on my bed._

_Peeta looks at me from across the room, and cocks his head to the side. I shrug in confusion. "Madge...?"_

"_Your cousin needs to grow a pair, and ask me out already!" Madge shouts into my pillow. "I'm giving him all these signals... and.. and I get nothing!"_

It's an odd sense of deja vu, except now Madge is complaining about saying yes to Gale. _Oh, Madge..._

"Deep down, I knew he wouldn't be committed. Like, I know he never asked me to be his girlfriend, _but_ we went on a few dates-" Madge cuts herself off by groaning with frustration. "Why do I always like the players?"

My head whips around to her, and I narrow my eyes in confusion. "Players? Marvel wasn't a player. He was nice-"

"I'm not talking about Marvel..." Madge says quietly while turning her head to look at me.

"So, who _are_ you talking about?" I ask with a raised eyebrow. "Did you meet someone?"

My best friend looks down at the floor instead of my eyes. "Finnick."

Madge... Finnick?

"_Finnick?_ You're talking about _Finnick Odair_?" I ask with incredulity. Madge gives a meek nod before meeting my eyes. I smirk. "So, you've got a little crush on your worst enemy, hmm?"

"Shut up," she mumbles and glares at me. I chuckle and shake my head.

In the silence that follows, I find my thoughts drifting to Peeta. His sweet smile, perfect blue eyes, warm laugh. _Everything I've ever wanted._ But I was a screw up. I screwed everything up. Maybe it was for the best though. If Peeta were to get sick or die, I'd end up like my mother; withering away because I couldn't live without him. Even if I were to die, how could I just leave Peeta alone in the world?

_You already did._

"Katniss, you okay?" Madge's voice breaks through my thoughts. "Peeta?" She asks, knowing who my thoughts are about.

"Everything happens for a reason," I say out loud trying to convince myself that this was all for the better.

Madge sits up on the couch, and I take a seat next to her. "And maybe there's a reason why you guys happened to run into each other and become neighbours."

"Madge, I can't just go back to Peeta, and expect him to trust me again." I say quietly. "I hurt him, and I can't seem to trust love again. My mom and dad are a clear example of it!"

"You need to let yourself go, Katniss. You can't be afraid your whole life." Madge says calmly. "After time I know Peeta will be able to trust you again."

"How did my life get so fucked up, Madge?" I say, and she gives me a sympathetic look. "I see the kids that I teach... they're dating and happy, but I also catch myself thinking about how one day it will all come crashing down."

What happened to the days where I'd look into Peeta's eyes and believe that everything would be amazing? The days Peeta and I spent together gave me hope. They gave me hope of a good life, something to remind me that the world wasn't so bad after all. Was I wrong to believe that everything would turn out okay? Did Peeta blindside me from the real, ugly truth?

Was Peeta the curtain the hid the real world from showing?

"It's not. Katniss, I swear to you, you can turn it all around." Madge says with a determined look in her eyes. "You just need to be open. You're going to get hurt, we all have. But that's what makes it real and worthwhile."

"I don't know..."

"Let me just tell you something," Madge says, "My mother died, too, Katniss. My father was a wreck after, but I knew that he never regretted any moment with my mother even though it caused him pain. Their love brought them a daughter, amazing memories, and a bond that will last even after death."

I look at Madge, her eyes are glistening, but with happy tears. "But my mother-"

"Katniss, stop comparing it your mother! I hate to say it, but your mother was weak!" She says loudly. "Your mom _chose_ to not go on without your father, she made that decision, okay? You're different than your mom. You're stronger."

I let her words sink in.

When my father died, I pulled myself together. I put on a brave face and still went on with life. I faced the world, so that Prim wouldn't starve. But my mother... She sat and stared at the wall. No eating, no drinking. Madge is right, though I hate to admit that my mother was weak. But it's true.

"Why don't you just talk with Peeta? I'm not saying that you go there and marry him. But just go and talk, instead of having those weird short talks." Madge suggests.

"What if he doesn't want to see me? What if he isn't home?" I say, trying to make excuses.

"Peeta obviously would love to see you. Just go and knock on his door. Okay?" She says and pulls me up from the couch. "I'll walk with you on my way out." Madge grabs her purse and ushers me out the door.

And once I'm standing in front of Peeta's door, it all hits me.

I can't talk to Peeta! He just... I can't...

"Guess I'm knocking for you." Madge says, then knocks on the door and runs down the hall. She turns back around when she gets to the stairs and smiles. "Good luck!"

I open my mouth to yell at her, but the door in front of me swings open. "Finnick, I swear to God-" Peeta looks down, and stops talking. "Katniss?"

"Do I look like Finnick?"

"No, thankfully." He says with a small chuckle. "Um.. what can I help you with?"

I bite down on my lip and look down. "I... I don't know. I just thought we could talk? Catch up..?"

"That sounds great, really... but I was just on my way to go visit my father." I look up and see the inner struggle within himself.

I put on a half smile and shake my head. "Don't worry. You go visit your father."

A pang of hate towards myself hits me. His father. Peeta said his father was in a home for the disabled, he said he was beaten by his mother. Rage also starts to boil within me. At myself, and Peeta's mom.

Evelyn Mellark was a nasty woman who didn't particularly like me, to say the least. She used to abuse Peeta and his brothers: Chase and Aaron, verbally and physically. But not once in my life have I ever seen a woman abuse her husband that bad.

Brant Mellark, Peeta's father, was the most kind man out there. He was so full of joy and optimism, much like Peeta. He respected everyone, no matter who they were. And when Evelyn became violent, he never hit her back. I remember walking into their house right after Peeta's mother had slapped Brant. I asked him why he'd never fight back, and he said "_I don't care if she's nasty with me, but I will never lay a violent hand on a woman. Everyone deserves respect whether they really deserve it or not._"

I hope she gets what's coming to her. Because nothing will erase the images of a bruised and hurt Peeta from my mind, too. Many times throughout our relationship, I'd go into his room to find him with a fresh bruise or cut across his face and arms. Those were the nights I'd sneak him into my room, away from his monster of a mother. And sometimes I wish I could've taken his brothers and father with us, too.

"I'll be gone for an hour. If it's not too late by then, we can still talk." Peeta tries with a nervous smile. "I can – um – always text you when I get back..."

Maybe I can still salvage a friendship with Peeta. Right?

"Uh, y-yeah. What's your number?" I pull my cellphone out from my pocket, and I punch in Peeta's number as he gives it to me. I recite mine back to him.

"Okay, I should get going. I'll see you later, if I can?" He says while locking his door. I nod and wave him off.

* * *

**Peeta POV**

"Identification, please." The lady behind the front desk says. I hand over my driver's license, and the lady does a quick look over. She types my name into her computer, and hands the ID back to me. "You will have to visit your father in the cafeteria or lounge. It seems last time during your visit he had a seizure-"

"I'm aware of that," I snap at the lady. Her brown eyes bore into mine, and I feel small. "I'm sorry. It's just stressful.."

She raises an eyebrow, but then nods. "All I'm saying is that your visit has to be watched over incase that happens again." She opens a drawer and hands me a visitor clip. I clip it onto my grey hoodie. "Enjoy your visit."

I mutter a thank you, before one of the assistants leads me down the white hallway to wherever my father is. The assistant constantly looks back at me and smiles, her blue eyes shining.

"I'm Delly, by the way." She says happily while pointing to her name tag. "You here to see Brant Mellark? He's your..."

"My father," I fill in with a tight smile. I'm not really in a chatty mode. Not with my father in a home for the disabled, and Katniss back at the apartment all alone.

We pass a young man in a wheelchair with downs syndrome. A girl reads a book to him, though he isn't listening. I smile a little as I watch the clear devotion that the girl has for the man.

Delly pushes through a set of double doors, and we walk into what I assume is the lounge. I look around the room, and at a table near the back, I see him. The sight of him almost brings tears to my eyes. _My father_.

"I'll be around, so just come find me if you need anything!" Delly chirps happily while bouncing away to a woman at a table near us. For a moment, I watch Delly happily talk to the woman, putting a smile on her face.

I muster up some courage, and walk over to the table my father sits at. I pull out the chair, and it isn't until I sit down that he finally looks up from the book on the table. It pains me to see that he's reading a child's book. Shock and happiness play across his face.

"Hey, Dad." I say.

He folds his hands on the table, and I notice the tremors that shake his hands. "P-Peeta. . . Good t-t-o se-see you."

My mouth goes dry as his stuttering worsens throughout the sentence. Stuttering. Tremors. Seizures. Slow speech. Why did this have to happen to my father?

"I'm sorry that I haven't visited in a while. Work's been keeping me busy."

He's staring down at his hands now, totally disregarding my sentence. They shake slightly, and I lightly tap the table.

"Dad, did you hear me?" I ask softly.

My father's head snaps up, his hair greying hair falls over his forehead. He stares at me like I just appeared out of nowhere. "Wh-what did y-y-y-you. . . say?"

"I said I'm sorry that I haven't visited in a while."

His blue eyes stare at me, but then the flicker over to a commotion across the room. It's nothing special, just a group talking.

"I talked to Chase the other day. He misses you." I attempt to gain his attention.

When Dad's eyes lock back on me, they're sparked with confusion. "Who. . . is. . . Chase?"

My heart sinks to my stomach. He doesn't remember Chase? Maybe he just needs a refresher.

"Chase. Your son, my brother." I say slowly. "Aaron, too."

He frowns with confusion and shakes his head. "Y-you ar-are my s-s-son. I don't. . . W-w-what-"

"I know I am, Dad. You have Chase and Aaron, too."

He slams his hands down on the table. "I-I-I don-don't k-know them! I d-d-don't. . . I-I just d-don't!" He starts repeating those same lines over and over while hitting the table with his shaking fists.

"Dad, Dad! Calm down, please!" I reach across the table to stop him from hitting the table, but it sends him into a fury of incoherent shouts, and tears streak his cheeks.

"_I d-don't!_" I hear in his yells, and through his worked up state, he vomits over the table. Delly and another guy in the uniform white scrubs rush over to us. The guy holds back my father as Delly injects him with a shot. My father's yells turns into mumble nothings. The guy picks up my father and begins to carry him out of the room.

Tears brim my eyes, but I don't let them fall. Delly puts a hand on my shoulder, and smiles sadly. "I'm really sorry... I had to inject him with a tiny bit of sedatives. He might not be up for another four hours, and visiting hour ends soon, so maybe come back in the next few days?"

I barely nod before storming out of the lounge, down the hallway. I stop at the front desk to slam down my visitor clip, then go out to my truck. When I drive away from the home, I hold in my tears.

I don't think I've ever hated my mother, but now I do. I hate her with all my being. If she had never beaten my father and damaged his brain, he would be okay. He wouldn't be a stuttering, confused man.

_My father is ruined._

* * *

I grip the armrest of my couch as I send Katniss a message.

_I think I'll pass tonight. Maybe another time. _I type and hit send.

I run my hands over my face trying to rid myself of the pain. _Don't cry, don't cry, don't cry._

A quiet knock comes from my door. I rub my eyes and take a breath before answering. And when I see who's on the other side, my eyes widen. How-

"What's wrong?" She asks, her grey eyes calculating. "I know something's wrong."

And I don't know who I shock more: Katniss or myself, when I pull her into a hug and let my tears fall.

* * *

**a/n: Poor Peeta, Katniss and Peeta's dad! D:**

**Okay, so Katniss is a little OOC with going to see Peeta, maybe. But once again, they have a past. He isn't a stranger to her. Next chapter, we get to see stubborn/fiery Katniss!**

**Peeta's father's symptoms are real symptoms. Slow speech, out of control behaviour/emotions, vomiting, etc. are all effects after brain trauma.**

**Thank you again to everyone that has review, PMed, and followed this story!**

**Feedback on this chapter?**


	6. Chapter 6

**A/n: Hello Readers!**

**Chapter 6, here we are!**

**There's a line in this chapter that Peeta says, but it's from the movie, Silver Linings Playbook (great movie) which I will state at the bottom.**

**I don't own The Hunger Games, or the Silver Linings Playbook quote.**

* * *

Once again I'm surprised in the span of a minute...

Katniss wraps her arms around me, one hand on the back of my neck. She runs her fingers lightly through my hair in the nape of my neck, much like she did when I suffered a beating from my mother. A nostalgic feeling overcomes me. I miss Katniss; her smell, smile, laugh... the way her hair always hit my face when we hugged. How her grey eyes used to light up like a Christmas tree. How she used to look at me: like I was the only person in the world.

And maybe this makes my tears fall faster.

The tears that I've held in for so long. The tears I never shed over my mother's beatings, the tears I hold in every time I see my father, the tears I contain ever single second Katniss is on my mind.

Lots of tears.

Katniss pulls away, and I feel my head hang low in shame and exhaustion. Her fingertips graze my chin, and she tilts my head up from looking at the ground. Sadness is in her eyes, and her tiny – barely noticeable – smile is sad, too.

She pulls the edge of the sleeve of her long-sleeved shirt over her thumb, and gently wipes at the tears under my eyes. "Don't cry."

"Too late, huh?" I give a weak laugh with a smile that could barely pass as one.

"Hey, you were always the optimistic one." Katniss says, reminiscing about how she was always a pessimist and I was an optimist. "Where's the sun on a rainy day that only you could find?"

I shake my head, and look away from her. "There's no sun. Nothing about my life is good anymore."

"Should I start calling you Katniss?" She asks, trying to lighten the mood.

It doesn't work, no matter how much I wish it would. I _want _to laugh with Katniss. I _want _to smile with her. Especially when she's putting in an effort.

"Peeta, I don't know what happened, and I'm not sure if you even want to tell me... But I don't want you to give up hope." Katniss says with determination. "You're a special person. There aren't too many people – Hell, there isn't anyone out there like you. This world needs someone like you."

My eyes meet hers again, and for a girl of few words, she's managed to raise my spirits in a few sentences than anyone has in the last six years.

"Want to come in?" Katniss nods and follows me to the couch. She takes a seat next to me, and I look at my hands. "At the home... Dad had forgotten who Chase and Aaron were. I tried to explain it, and... and he started yelling and freaking out. They had to sedate him."

Katniss breathes a sharp intake of breath, before her hands lightly rests on mine. "Peeta..." she trails off, at loss for words.

"Yeah, I know."

Silence follows and it's quiet in the apartment. Really quiet. It's not like the silence that Katniss and I used to share comfortably. It's not _uncomfortable _either, but it's like we've forgotten how to act around each other. _How to trust._

"You know how you told me that one day my hopeless romantic side would come out?" She asks me after minutes of silence.

I turn to her and nod, surprised that she remembered that. "Yeah. It was on our second date."

"Well, you were right." She says, a blush tinting her cheeks. "Two years ago, I sat alone on my couch at three in the morning, and watched The Royal Wedding. I was just so amazed at... I don't know."

"I think they call that love." I say lightly with a grin tugging at my lips as I nudge her shoulder with mine. Katniss turns to me with a confused look, so I explain. "What you were so amazed at – that was the love. Y'know, between Kate and Prince William."

Katniss rolls her eyes and scoffs. "I know what love is, Peeta."

_Yeah, me too, _I want to say. _I'm still in love with you._

"I think Finnick finally opened his eyes up to Madge." I say, breaking the silence that followed Katniss's statement. Katniss's head whips to look at me so fast that someone would think she'd get whiplash.

"Really?" She asks, her lips turning into a grin as I nod. "Well, I think Madge has started to notice Finnick, too."

My eyes widen. "No way. Actually?"

"Yup."

"Who would've thought it?" I ask with a laugh. "They resented each other since, like, _ever._"

Katniss chuckles in agreement, and immediate longing hits me. I miss everything about Katniss. I wish she'd give love a chance again, but I'm scared that she'll run off again when something goes bad.

"How are Chase and Aaron?" She asks.

"Chase is engaged." I say, and Katniss's eyes widen. "Aaron's seeing a girl, I think. I haven't spoken to him for a week or two. But he's been good, just busy with work."

Katniss shakes her head a few times with a grin of disbelief. "Chase Mellark? Engaged?"

I shrug, not being able to explain it either. "Yeah, can't believe it, right? Apparently this Clove is the one for him."

"Have you met her?" Katniss asks, and I nod. "She must be quite the girl if she's gotten Chase to settle down." Chase was always very flirty, he was much like Finnick in that way. Except Chase never used girls, he was just never the relationship kinda guy.

"Oh yeah, she's something." I say and turn to Katniss. "She's kinda like you. Speaks her mind, _unbelievably sarcastic_..." I add in with a smirk.

Katniss smacks my arm. "I'm not!"

And the atmosphere in the room isn't so thick anymore. It starts to feel a little more normal, more _relaxed_. Just like it used to be.

"So, how does Aaron feel about this girl?" Katniss asks, knowing Aaron's type.

I shrug and non-committal noise. "He's cool with her. Thinks she's nice. But we both know Aaron's type is more conservative and reserved. He prefers a girl that's tattoo-free."

"She has a tattoo?"

"We're talking a small tattoo on her wrist. Barely noticeable." I say with an eye roll, "Of course Aaron noticed it though."

Suddenly, Katniss jumps up in a hurry. "Shit! I forgot I was making Kraft Dinner!"

She runs out my apartment, and I follow behind her out of habit. I run into her kitchen, and she lifts a pot from the hot element. Smoke is coming off the burnt noodles. I snort escapes me when I look between the charred remains of the noodles and her mortified face.

Her head snaps up, and she scowls at me. "Shut up,"

"Hey, it's still edible. It just might be a little crunchy..." I trail off as a laugh over comes me.

"Oh, really? I'd like to see _you_ try it."

I shake my head. "There's no way I'll try that!"

"Not so funny now, is it?"

I laugh again at her unwavering scowl. "It's still pretty funny."

Katniss huffs and throws the pot of burned KD into the sink. I watch her open a cupboard above the stove, pulling out a container of... red, foot-shaped gummies. _Big Foot _candies. She loved them.

"Looks like I'm having these for dinner." She says, "I haven't gone grocery shopping."

I nearly scoff out loud. Katniss can be so stubborn. If she has nothing to eat, why doesn't she just ask me? It's always been like this; she's always been very independent and full of pride – maybe a little too much. She'd never take help from me, I had to basically force her into letting me help her and she only relented a few times when we were younger. _Stubborn._

"Okay, well, I'll just go order some _double cheese_ _pizza,_" I say with emphasis on the pizza while walking to the door. _It's her favourite._ "The cheesy, cheesy pizza...oh yeah. That's gonna be good."

I throw a glance over my shoulder, and Katniss stands there with a gummy sticking out of her mouth. Her eyes narrow once she realizes what I'm doing.

"Peeta Mellark, stop that!" She says, then curses under her breath.

I laugh and leave her apartment, hoping with everything that I am, that she'll follow me. That she'll come by and have pizza. That she'll give me a sign, that maybe deep, _deep _down somewhere she still loves me.

I reach my open door and feel a wave of sadness hit me as I look back to see an empty hallway. No Katniss. She even closed her door. _Great._

Pulling out my phone, I dial the pizza place's number and order a large extra cheese pizza. They tell me it will take ten minutes to deliver since I live close by. I grab a beer from the fridge and pop off the cap. _Here's to another lonely night._

* * *

The pizza arrives just a little over ten minutes, but I don't complain. It's not like I was in a rush, or anything. Just me. I take the pizza to the table in the kitchen, and open the box to grab a piece.

"Thanks for letting me know the pizza came," A voice says from the doorway, and I nearly jump out of my skin. I whip around to a scowling, yet smirking Katniss Everdeen. "_Jerk._"

"I don't remember asking you to come," I retort back.

"It was implied." She shrugs and grabs a piece of pizza. "Your subtlety is awful, just so you know."

I stare at her for a few minutes before a smile cracks on my face, seeing part of the Katniss I used to know. _My Katniss._ "I wouldn't be talking if I were you. You're about as subtle as an elephant...with flashing lights...walking on whoopie cushio-"

"Shut it." She rolls her eyes.

"Did I ever tell you how charming you are?" I ask with mock sweetness.

Katniss just glares in response, and takes a bite of her pizza. I chuckle and take a bite of my own. It's weird to think just a little while ago, I was a complete wreck. Now I'm still a wreck, but I'm not about to explode.

"Thank you, Katniss." I say quietly while taking a seat across the table from her. "For, uh, comforting me?"

Katniss looks up at me and shrugs. "We all fall apart sometimes. It's okay to."

"It's okay for you to fall apart, too." I say. "You don't always have to be guarded."

Katniss finishes off her piece and chews slowly while staring me down. When she finishes, she opens her mouth, "You don't know me at all. You knew me six years ago, I'm not that same girl."

"Don't give me that shit, Katniss."

"What shit, Peeta? That _shit _is the truth." Katniss snaps back with an edge to her voice.

Silence builds with the tension between us, and I clear my throat.

"I really needed you." I say quietly, "You were the only one who understood me one hundred percent."

"I know you needed me!" She says back loudly, her anger finally showing. "I'm sorry I'm too damn selfish to have been there for you! You don't think it's eating away at me?"

I sigh and raise my hands. "Katniss, I didn't mean it like that. I just..."

"I'm sorry I can't be the girl you want me to be." She says with a menacing glare. "I'm sorry I don't live up to your expectations from so long ago!"

"You _are_ the girl I want! You're everything I've ever wanted. _Always._"

We both rise from our chairs at the same time. Katniss starts heading for the door. Of course, she's going to run. She always does. I follow closely behind her.

"Peeta, stop living in that damn dream from the past, and move on!" She whips around on her heel, and I almost run into her. Her mouth opens to speak, but the words seems to die in her throat once she sees how close we're standing. Our chests almost touching, my head angled down to look at her.

"I'm not living in the past, Katniss." I say softly. Her eyes nervously meet mine. "I just have this feeling with you. I just know..."

Katniss sighs, but doesn't break eye contact. "I'm a sinking ship. A lost cause."

"Not to me."

Almost like a magnet is drawing us closer, we both lean in with our lips just millimeters apart. I could kiss her, right now. I can feel her warm breath on my lips, but then trust comes to my mind. What if she just runs again? I'm too scared to lose her. I close my eyes and take a step back, and when I open them again I see Katniss has done the same.

"This... is.." Katniss can't seem to form words, so she just looks down at the ground. "This wasn't a good idea..."

"Katniss, don't run. Don't just walk out of my life again, don't shut me out." I plead with her. "The world will break your heart ten ways to Sunday. That's guaranteed. But I swear every Sunday morning I'd make you strawberry muffins, and I'd give you faith that not everything in life is bad."

Katniss looks down again. "Peeta, you're embarrassing yourself."

"I don't care. I don't care if I sound like a fool right now." I say confidently. "I don't care, because what I'm saying is true."

"Peeta, you lied to me!" Katniss yells, finally releasing all of her built up anger. My eyes widen, and I stare back at her. "You told me the world isn't as bad as I thought. I was so sure you were being truthful! I believed you!"

My breath hitches in my throat. I did promise that I'd protect her, and I failed. I failed to keep her faith in the world. Is it my fault? But I had no idea that her parents would pass away.

"I didn't know that your parents would... y'know. And I'm sorry for that." I say gently, taking a few steps closer. "But just give me a chance, Katniss. Please."

"You weren't there to pick up my pieces, you-"

"Pick up your pieces? I had no clue where you were!" I say back with incredulity. "And what about my broken pieces? Where were you?"

The fire is still burning within Katniss, and she sighs in frustration. "You didn't try hard enough to find me! I always hoped I'd open my door to find you standing on the other side. How silly of me!"

"Katniss, I'm not in the damn FBI! I couldn't just trace your steps, especially when you left _nothing_ behind."

"I wanted you to fight for me." She whispers.

I scoff out loud and give a cynical laugh. "Fight for you? I fought for you endlessly! I took beatings from my mother when I told her I would never give you up! Then, I searched for some sort of clue all over this city, I asked around, I..." I start off strongly but quickly fade, her eyes widen at my first revelation. "Never say I didn't fight for you. 'Cause I did a hell lot of it."

"Are you stupid, Peeta?"

I cock my head to the side and repeat her words. "Am I stupid?"

"Yes, are you stupid!" She pokes my chest, but it's weak, and her finger is shaky. "Why...would you do that for me? Why would you let your mother beat you because of me..."

"Because I loved you." I say, "Because you were worth more than just some girl. You were the one."

Katniss breaks our stare and breathes in. "I was?"

"You still are."

* * *

**a/n: Writing angry Katniss is my favourite. It's just fun, I don't know why.**

**I hope you all understand Katniss's irrational anger/argument - when she said Peeta lied. She just had so much trust in Peeta before, that when her parent's died, she was so shocked and in pain that she blamed Peeta for it. I tried to write it how Katniss would think of it as.**

**Also, I have two different Peeta's in here: Sweet, sensitive Peeta... and then frustrated Peeta. Hope he wasn't too OOC when he got a little angry(not really).**

**Peeta's quote from SLP is "The world will break your heart ten ways to Sunday. That's guaranteed." I do not own this quote, in case that wasn't clear...**

**Peeta and Katniss still have a long way to go, it won't be this easy!**

**Review, PM, do whatcha gotta do!**


	7. Chapter 7

**A/n: Hello, readers!**

**Like I said in ****_She Will Be Loved, _****I have exams coming up soon. So, updates will not be as frequent in the next two weeks, but I'll still be updating, just not as fast until exams are over! Studying and end of the semester projects are already mounting up, so I need to start preparing. So, don't worry I won't leave you all hanging for two weeks!**

**Hope you enjoy this chapter!**

**I do not own The Hunger Games.**

* * *

The silence between us is almost palpable.

Katniss stands there in shock with shaking hands, her eyes are wide and confused. I feel my own heart beating wildly in my chest, just hoping for a chance. A chance that Katniss will give me just an hour of her time to show her that we still have something. But I won't force her anymore. I've said all that needs to be said, now the ball is in her court.

"Peeta...I..." she stumbles upon her words and looks around the room as if something will help her. "I'm not good with words."

I shrug hopelessly. "Well-"

"I really want to kiss you right now." My head snaps up so fast it could cause whiplash. Katniss's cheeks are red, and she nervously plays with her hands. Katniss...wants to kiss me? "But I can't."

I feel my spirits drop as those words leave her mouth.

Of course. Only Katniss could say something that amazing, but then go and add something only to make me miserable.

"Why?" I ask weakly.

"I'll just end up hurting you again."

Before either one of us can get a word in, my cellphone starts ringing. I groan inwardly, and grab the phone from my pocket. The screen flashes with a number I don't recognize, but I answer anyway.

"Hello?"

"Hi, Peeta. This is Delly from District 12 Home for the Disabled."

"Oh, hi, Delly. Is something wrong?" I ask with a frown, her voice isn't bubbly like I remember. Katniss stands in the same spot, though her eyebrows are knit together with a frown.

I hear Delly sigh on the other end with the rustling of some papers. "I know you were just here and... well, I was just calling to see if you had time to come back to the home, so we could discuss a few things about your father."

Absentmindedly, I find myself already slipping my shoes on. From the corner of my eye, I see Katniss clenching her jaw, and giving me an odd look.

"Oh, um, well what time did you have in mind? I could be there in thirty minutes?"

"Thirty minutes is perfect! I'll be at the front desk. See you soon, Peeta!" Delly says with a little more chipper in her voice.

"I'll see you soon, Delly."

Katniss crosses her arms and bites the inside of her cheek. I pat my pocket to make sure my keys are in there, and Katniss brushes by me and out the door. I sigh and chase after her.

"Katniss, wait!" I call out to her when she's halfway down the hall to her apartment. "What's the problem?"

Katniss stops and turns around, shrugging. Her nonchalant is too _nonchalant_, her shoulders are rigid, and she angrily bites on the inside of her cheek, probably drawing blood. She crosses her arms over her chest, and tries to appear unbothered. But I know exactly what this is. It's the same thing she used to do when girls would flirt with me back in high school.

Katniss is _jealous._

But why? She has no clue who Delly is, and the circumstances on why Delly needs to meet with me. I'm a little angry at how Katniss can seem so jealous over a situation that she knows nothing about. But then again, it's cute, and fills me with hope that maybe Katniss really does have feelings for me. Like, she wanted to kiss me, and now she's seemingly jealous? Maybe the odds are in my favour for once.

"_Nothing_ is the _problem_," Katniss snaps back, biting even harder on her cheek. I don't know why I feel the need to explain to her, though I still need to. For some unknown reason.

"Katniss, Delly works at my father's home-"

Katniss cuts me off, "You don't need to explain yourself to me. Why would I care anyways? It's not like you're _mine._"

Her words hit me hard, and sting just as bad as one of my mother's slaps. Maybe this hurts even more because it's breaking a little bit of my heart in the process. The fact that Katniss so obviously made it clear that she doesn't want nor intends to make me hers... that hurts more than anyone could imagine.

"Yeah. I guess you're right, then."

Her rigid body slackens once the words leave my mouth, and I see her tough, angry facade crumble. But it's too late for her to say anything else to stop me from walking away, no matter how much I want to turn around when I hear her call my name.

Katniss doesn't want me, and I should just deal with it.

* * *

Delly takes a seat behind the desk that separates us. She has changed out of her white scrubs, and into a pair of skinny jeans and a pink sleeveless blouse. It feels a little odd to see her out of scrubs, but it's also a little nice. They suit her.

I sit in a stiff chair across from Delly's desk stacked with files and folders of papers. She flips through my father's folder, labelled _Brant Mellark_. I watch her face, and now I notice that she has a very pretty, kind face. I'm surprised and a little ashamed that I hadn't noticed earlier today on my visit. Her blue eyes shine, and her blonde hair is in soft, loose curls. Her skin is a nice tan, but fair colour, and her eyes are outlined lightly in black liner.

She's very pretty.

I feel Katniss's angry, jealous words slip from my mind, which scares yet relieves me. Maybe this is a wake up call. Maybe I need to stop trying to find someone like Katniss, and find someone who _isn't _Katniss. Right...?

Delly could be a start. She's kind, out going, pretty, just overall cheery. The total opposite of Katniss, who is stubborn, closed off, and sarcastic.

"Is there something on my face..?" Delly asks with her cheeks turning red, and I quickly snap out of my trance. I feel my own cheeks heat up when I realize I had been staring at her.

"Oh, uh – no! I was... just, ah.." I rub the back of my neck nervously. She nods, and then offers me a bright smile. I clear my throat and scoot to the edge of my seat. "So, what did you need to discuss about my father?"

Delly turns a single paper to me. "We're going to try and ween him onto new medication. It will – hopefully – control his seizures and mood swings better than his current medication." She says, then grabs a small notepad while a few sentences scribbled on it. "Since you're his immediate family and visit him the most, we have to check in with you about this change, and get your permission."

I nod, mulling the new information in my head. New meds to control his mood swings and seizures better? Well, that can certainly be good.

"Do these new meds have any side effects I should know about?" I ask while watching her hold up the small paper.

"Yes, well, just a few. They may cause drowsiness for the first day or so, back pain, and, um, constipation." Her cheeks heat up on the topic of my father's future bowel movements, and I can't help but chuckle.

I raise an eyebrow. "He might have a hard time pooping, is what your saying." I clarify with a smirk.

She stares at me for a second before an embarrassed smile takes over her face. "That's exactly what I'm saying. Oh, also, her current medication might be the cause of his foggy memory. We're hoping the new medication will clear that fog, and maybe he'll be able to expand and access his repressed memories from his accident."

"Wow, that's amazing." I say quietly.

Her eyes light up, and she points at me. "Oh! I have some very exciting news, too. Well, kinda. While your father was in and out of sleep, he would briefly say things about three people named Chase, Aaron, and Peeta... which is you."

My mouth opens and closes, and I feel a sense of joy and hopefulness take over me. Maybe he can remember... Maybe. Delly beams at me, and her mood is infectious when I feel myself smile.

"We're hoping to get him to talk to the psychologist, and allow a few different methods of trying to jog his memory." Delly adds in.

I smile and let out a disbelieving chuckle. "Where do I sign?"

Delly slides the paper toward me, and points to a single line just under a short description of what Delly had just explained to me, but in fancier terms. I quickly sign my name at the bottom with a lighter feeling in me.

"Chase and Aaron are your brothers, right?" I nod slowly, and her cheeks heat up once again. "It was just in the file... sorry, for being a snoop! I didn't mean to-"

"Delly, it's just my brothers. Not some top secret conspiracy theory." I say back with a half grin.

Delly beings to neatly put my father's file back onto a pile, and I stand up. She follows, and we leave the office. We walk down the hall, and it seems much quieter. All the residents have gone to their rooms, and the day and night shift takers are switching places.

"So, any big plans for tonight?" Delly asks, and she looks genuinely interested.

I laugh and shake my head. "Nah... I should probably mark assignments, but I'll be a procrastinator and do that tomorrow night. You?"

"Do you teach?" She asks, and I nod. "Cool! What subjects? And as for me, I get off work in two minutes, then I have a Greasy Sae's milkshake and fries calling my name!"

"I teach high school English and Art." I raise my eyebrows, noticing her lean body. "Milkshake and fries, huh? Let me guess... you seem like an original vanilla type of girl."

"Maybe if I had a teacher like you in high school I would've paid more attention," And her eyes widen and she covers her mouth at what she had just said. I laugh and smile at her. She looks down, recovering from her out-burst. "And you have impeccable guessing skills, Peeta."

I shrug and grin as we near the front reception area. "I bet it was just luck. So, vanilla, huh? I'm more of a chocolate guy."

"Makes sense." She nods, and a sheepish smile covers her face. "Today's my cheat day, so I'm going all out. Large milkshake, large fries!"

"Cheat day? Don't tell me you diet?" Her face contorts into a small look of pain, and I mentally slap myself for sounding like an ass. "Not that, that's bad! But you just don't... um... sorry, I'm kinda digging myself deeper and deeper as I go, aren't I?"

Delly's bubbly laugh rings through the quiet front area, and she shrugs. "No worries! Dieting is kinda fun... in a twisted way, y'know. Like it's rewarding, I guess."

"Uh, thanks for all the you've done today." I say quietly. "It really means a lot."

She puts a comforting hand on my bicep, and it sends a wave of goosebumps done my arm. Thankfully she can't see through my sleeves.

"It was my pleasure! I'm just glad I could help in some way. Really, it was no problem, Peeta!"

I manage a smile though I feel slightly guilty, for a stupid reason. I feel like I'm betraying Katniss, even though she clearly doesn't feel anything for me. She's just confused. She probably said she wanted to kiss me just because she felt bad for me.

_Katniss doesn't want you. Find someone new._

My phone starts ringing in my pocket, and I grab it to see Finnick calling. I give Delly and apologetic look. "Sorry, I need to answer this. Maybe I'll see you next time I visit."

Delly just nods, and waves me off with a brilliant smile. I slide my thumb over the lock screen to accept Finnick's call.

"Finn, you done annoying the shit out of me yet?" I ask as I make my way to where I parked, I quickly hop in the car. Finnick's been bugging me to go out with him since this morning, but I'm not in the mood.

"This is important, I have a problem." He snaps into the phone, and I roll my eyes at his attitude.

"Come on, I thought we were past stating the obvious." I say with sarcasm.

Finnick mumbles something that I don't quite catch. "Shut up, asshole."

"Anyway, so what's your problem?"

He breathes deeply on the other end and groans with frustration. "Madge Undersee. That's my fucking problem."

My face lights up into a smile, and a sense of giddiness takes over. Finally, Finnick sees the light! My thoughts drift to telling Katniss, but I push that away. I doubt Katniss will want to talk to me.

"So, you've finally stopped hating her long enough to fall for her," I say cockily.

"Oh, fuck you. Stop being such a know-it-all asshole, right now." Finnick complains into the phone, and he's probably right. I bet it's killing him to even be admitting this right now. "I ran into her in the parking lot earlier today. She was just leaving Katn-"

"You fucking hit her with your truck?" I shout into the phone.

"No, you asswipe! I _saw_ her in the parking lot, and we got to talking. Jesus, I didn't hit her with my fucking truck!" He shouts into the phone as if I'm crazy.

I roll my eyes, and pull of out the home's parking lot. "So, you like her?"

He sighs and her voice comes out softer. "Yeah, I think. I actually like her. It's not just some one time _thing_... I feel like I did when I was with Annie."

"Hey, well, I say that you go for it." I say, encouraging him to be truly happy again. "And who knows, maybe she feels something for you, _too._"

"Shit, this is crazy..." He says with awe. "Hey, listen, Peet... Thanks."

"What for?"

He laughs. "Putting up with my crazy ass."

"What are friends for?"

Finnick laughs, and we say our goodbyes. His newfound crush on Madge makes me happy, but also a little wistful. Madge and Finnick hated each other for years, but now they're suddenly interested in one another? Whereas Katniss and I dated for two years, and we can't even get remotely close to how we used to be. How does that work?

I see a dim sign lit up in the dark, and it reads _Greasy Sae's Grill._

I think back to Delly talking about getting a milkshake and fries from Greasy Sae's. Something takes over me, and I pull into the parking lot of the small diner. I exit the car and walk in through the doors. A homey smell hits me: fries, barbeque, burgers... all in one. And it smells so good.

My eyes land on a very familiar blonde in a pink shirt at the back of the diner. Her back is facing me, so I quietly make my way over. She's looking down at her phone with I approach, so I clear my throat.

"Mind if I sit with you?"

Her head snaps up, the blonde curls whip over her shoulder. "Peeta? No, of course not! Take a seat!" She motions to the booth bench across from her. I take a seat and grab a menu from the end of the table. "What are you doing here?"

"Oh, well, _someone_ got me craving a chocolate shake."

She laughs and waves over an older looking waitress. "Hey, Mags. You've got another order coming up!"

The older lady, Mags, has frizzy grey hair, and a few missing teeth but she looks harmless. Mags mumbles something along the lines of "what would you like?"

My eyes scan the menu. "Uh, could I get a chocolate milkshake and a breakfast special?"

Mags smiles and nods before walking over to the kitchen to place my order.

"Breakfast for dinner-slash-evening snack?" Delly smirks.

My stomach lowly grumbles. Truth is, those two bites of pizza hadn't filled me up. _Obviously._

"Breakfast for dinner is the best, Delly."

Delly laughs and our eyes lock. And suddenly this all feels wrong.

I used to have breakfast for dinner with someone else. I used to joke like this with someone else... not Delly.

Her blue eyes aren't grey and calculating; they're bright and open. Her blonde hair isn't dark brown. Her skin tone isn't olive. Delly isn't stubborn, infuriating, sarcastic, irritating, strong... smart, caring, selfless, funny, and impossibly beautiful all in the same breath as Katniss is.

An ache sets in my heart as I sit here with the wrong girl. A girl who I barely know. A girl who barely knows me. A girl who isn't Katniss.

Delly isn't Katniss.

I doubt Katniss will ever leave my mind. No matter how hard I try to convince myself that Katniss doesn't love me, I'll never stop loving her. I'm starting to think it's physically impossible. I couldn't even go an hour without trying to forget her.

Katniss Everdeen is a spell I cannot break.

* * *

**A/n: Peeta's right! Now the ball is in Katniss's court. She needs to make the next move. Will she? OoOoOoOoOo ;)**

**But, even if she does, it's not going to happen right away. It'll take a bit of time, not overly long, but not super quick either.**

**This isn't Delly's last appearance either! Hehe.**

**I hope you all liked the chapter. I hope Peeta's thoughts were real to you.**

**Review, PM!**


	8. Chapter 8

**A/n: My exams officially start on Monday, so this will be my last update for the next few days. I'll be done exams by Thursday, so I'll try to get a chapter up by Saturday or something. **

**Enjoy!**

**I do not own The Hunger Games, or Hiding My Heart Away (Adele Version).**

* * *

It has been two weeks since I was at the diner with Delly. She had looked so confused when I claimed that I had to go before the food even arrived. Nonetheless, she still smiled and told me that we'd see each other soon.

_I want to see Katniss, _I remember thinking.

I got off work hours ago, and all I've manged to do is re-heat and eat the chicken stir-fry I made yesterday for dinner. I haven't even changed into my sweats yet; I'm still wearing my dark jeans, and a navy blue Henley long sleeve shirt that I wore to work today.

Some awful reality TV show is on, but I don't pay much attention. It's silly how people would want their entire life to be broadcasted out for the nation to see. I know some of it _is _scripted, but still, who wants their "private" life to be so public? It's not much of a private life...

A knock comes from the door, and I get up to answer it. Who would want to come see me? I open the door, and Madge smiles up at me.

"Hey, Madge. What's up?"

She raises her eyebrows and grins. "Just dragging a dear friend to get some coffee."

"Who-" I cut myself off when I see the look that she's giving me. Madge means _me_. "Funny thing is, I didn't know about this at all."

"That's why I just told you. Now come on, Peeta!" She grabs my arm and tries to pull me out of my place.

"Okay, okay! Hold on, let me put my shoes on." She loosens her grip, and I slide on my casual black, leather shoes.

Madge barely gives me time to lock up before she starts dragging me down the stairs and out to the parking lot. I begin to walk over to my car, but then Madge clears her throat and motions to her little silver car.

"I'm obviously driving."

I sigh and go get in the passenger side.

* * *

After twenty minutes, we settle down at a table inside Starbucks with our coffees. I stare at Madge and she looks up with a grin.

"What?"

"What did you do to get Katniss so rattled?" She asks with a laugh. "Seriously, Peeta, how'd you do it?"

What is she talking about? "Do _what, _Madge?"

"Make Katniss jealous? She's not one to admit it, but it was so painfully obvious!" Madge says back with joy. "Peeta, it's obvious she still cares for you. And if she didn't, do you think I'd be here telling you she does?"

I sit back in my chair. We haven't even been here for five minutes before Madge laid this on me. Katniss still cares?

"Just be your cute, charming self, and this will all work itself out!" She reaches across the table and squeezes my cheeks playfully.

My mind races so fast, I can barely process my thoughts. I sip on my warm coffee – it didn't feel right to get Java Chip with out Katniss. _Katniss._ Maybe it's not too late to make her mine. Maybe I still have a shot.

"Thanks, Madge." I smile and feel a surge of hope rush through me. My smile turns into a smirk when I remember something about Finnick. "So, have you talked Finnick lately? He's a nice guy, _huh_?"

Madge's cheek turn red instantly, and she looks out the window to avoid my knowing smirk. "Not like I remember in high school that's for sure."

"Oh, so you _have_ talked him?"

"Peeta, shut it!"

My laugh fills the small Starbucks, and some heads turn toward our table. Madge kicks my leg under the table, and I sit up straight in surprise. When I catch her grinning at me, I feel happy at the sibling-like friendship we have. Even though we lost touch after high school, our bond hasn't faltered. Our easy relationship is nice and comforting.

"What? So you can know about my love life, but I can't know about yours?" I ask teasingly with a smirk.

"I don't have a love life!" She denies loudly. I raise an eyebrow, and she huffs. "I don't! Okay?"

I laugh and shake my head, for the first time in a while I feel slightly at ease. "Getting a little defensive, are we?"

"You know what, get up. We're leaving."

My smirk drops and I frown. "Madge, c'mon I was playing with you!"

"No, seriously get up. We need to get you home."

I frown even more in confusion as I get up to follow her. When I get in her car, she tries to hide her grin, but Madge has never been one for that. I sigh and slump back in the seat. She's up to something, and I'm a little scared.

* * *

"Uh, Madge, you do know this isn't my apartment, nor an apartment at all?" I ask as she pulls up to a small building with big windows. I would attempt to read the sign on the building, but it's blocked by a big tree.

"Peeta, do you think I'm that much of a dumb blonde?" She asks with her lips quirked up. "Just go inside, and you'll see it. Trust me, okay?"

I turn in my seat, and I widen my eyes to make it clear that she's crazy. "I'm not going in some random place, and hoping to find whatever it is you're talking about! You've probably arranged for people to jump me, or something!"

"Peeta, would I ever intentionally do anything bad?" She asks, and I slowly shake my head. "See? Just go in there, you'll thank me for it."

"Madge, this is silly-"

"Or would you rather me tell you all about period cramps?"

My eyes widen in disgust. "Jesus, I'll go, then."

Madge reaches over and pats my shoulder as I open the car door. "Good boy!"

I roll my eyes as she drives off, leaving me at this strange building, and I have no clue what I'm even doing here. I almost turn around to start walking home, but something pulls me closer to the door. So, my body moves on its own, and I push through the door. There's a sign that says to take off your shoes, so I slide mine off and push them to the side along with others – most of them are small kid's shoes.

"Hello, dear! What may I help you with?" I look over at a lady with an obnoxiously loud, pink jumpsuit. Her face is heavily caked in makeup, and she smells strongly of perfume. Oh God, it's Effie. "Peeta? What in the world are you doing here?"

I rub my neck, not really knowing why I'm here. "Hi...Effie. Uh, would it be alright if I just look around for a bit?"

Hesitantly, she nods. "That seems to be no problem. Just make sure not to disturb any classes that are in session." She says, then claps her hands together in surprise. "Where are my manners! I'm the owner of Trinket Studios."

I nod and smile politely. "Wow, I never knew you owned this place. Just thought you were a guidance counsellor at the school."

"Oh, no, no! Nonsense! I'm much more than that." Effie waves me off and I begin to walk down a big hallway, with smaller hallways leading to doors.

_Studio..._

I pass by a window, and when I peek through, I see a big studio room lined with wall mirrors and young little girls twirling around in tutus. _So, this is a dance studio._ Why did Madge make me come here?

My eyes scan over another window near the end of the hallway, and my eyes widen. I don't know if I should love or hate Madge right now.

I see her unmistakable raven hair in a bun, she's dressed in black tights, a loose green v-neck, and grey leg warmers. And she's _dancing_. Katniss Everdeen is dancing, and really, really well. How come I never knew about this?

My thoughts are cleared from my mind when I watch with amazement as she swiftly moves across the wooden floor. I move to the door, and peak in the room. A soft, light song plays throughout the studio, bouncing off the walls. Katniss's footsteps are so light, and her movements are so precise and delicate. I get lost in watching her move across the room. She watches her moves in the mirror, and spins elegantly with the song.

_This is how the story went_

_I met someone by accident_

_Who blew me away_

_Blew me away_

_And It was in the darkest of my days_

_When you took my sorrow and you took my pain_

_And buried them away, buried them away_

_I wish I could lay down beside you_

_When the day is done_

_And wake up to your face against the morning sun_

_But like everything I've ever known_

_You'll disappear one day_

_So I'll spend my whole life hiding my heart away_

_Dropped you off at the train station_

_Put a kiss on top of your head_

_Watched you wave_

_And watched you wave_

_Then I went on home to my skyscrapers_

_And neon lights and waiting papers_

_That I call home_

_I call that home_

_I wish I could lay down beside you_

_When the day is done_

_And wake up to your face against the morning sun_

_But like everything I've ever known_

_You'll disappear one day_

_So I'll spend my whole life hiding my heart away_

_Away, yeah_

_Woke up feeling heavy hearted_

_I'm going back to where I started_

_The morning rain_

_The morning rain_

_And though I wish that you were here_

_On that same old road that brought me here_

_It's calling me home_

_It's calling me home_

_I wish I could lay down beside you_

_When the day is done_

_And wake up to your face against the morning sun_

_But like everything I've ever known_

_You'll disappear one day_

_So I'll spend my whole life hiding my heart away_

_I can spend my whole life hiding my heart away_

Katniss ends the dance with some sort of graceful dip, and my stomach does a flip flop. She's so perfect... and her dancing is just amazing. She turns around, and when her eyes land on me she nearly falls over.

"Shit, Peeta!" She yells in shock. "What are you doing here?"

"I, ah...it's a weird story." I take a step into the studio and sheepishly rub my neck. Katniss stares me down, not moving from her spot in the middle of the room. "I never knew you could dance."

She shrugs in response. "I danced a little bit in high school, and then in University I minored in it."

"You're a really, _really_ amazing dancer, Katniss."

Katniss turns around and walks over to the other end, picking up a water bottle. She takes a few gulps, and with her back still to me, she says, "So, how's Delly?"

Her normal voice is laced with hidden anger, and I look at the mirror to see her face. She doesn't notice, but I can see her red cheeks and slightly narrowed eyes.

"I don't know. Strangers don't usually share the details of their lives with me." I say back with a raised eyebrow. As if she can feel my stare through the mirror, she looks up at me with shock, and I smirk. "Are you jealous?"

"_No,_" she snaps back, and turns to face me. "Why would I be jealous?"

I venture further into the room, and feign a nonchalant shrug. "Well, I'm really hot and single, and you feel as if you're missing your chance with _the_ Peeta Mellark."

Katniss rolls her eyes in annoyance and crosses her arms over her chest. "You forgot arrogant."

"Sassy," I say with a grin. She gives me her signature scowl, and I laugh. "So, are you going to spare me a dance?"

"Why would I?" She quips back with a grin working its way on her lips.

"Because you want to."

She bites down on her pink lips, and I've never really realized how crazy that makes me. It makes me want to pull her into me and place my lips on hers. She has no idea the effect she has.

Katniss holds out her hand, and when I stand there dumbfounded, she raises her eyebrows. "My hand isn't gonna be like this all day."

I walk over to her, and I can't ignore the feeling of my heart beating dangerously fast in my chest as our hands brush. I lightly grab her hand, but her grip loosens, only making mine tighten.

"It's just a dance, okay?" I say gently, and she gives a feeble attempt at a nod. With one hand in mine, she puts the other on my shoulder, and I put my other one on her waist.

There's no music playing, but a certain song by Bob Marley seems to play in my head, reminding me of that night when Katniss and I were younger. Katniss seems to be looking everywhere but me. Her eyes settle on something off to the side, and I try to ignore it. _Ignore the fact the she could never keep her eyes off me before._

"Today would've been his fifty-fifth birthday." Katniss whispers after a few minutes of silence. Now she finally looks into my eyes, but briefly. I don't even have to question who she's talking about: her father.

After all these years, I've forgotten Mr. Everdeen's birth date, but I do remember it being in the early spring. _March 2__nd_to be exact, I'm reminded.

I don't miss the way Katniss's lip trembles as she holds in her pain, sadness and tears. It tears me apart to be standing this close and not be able to comfort her in the way I want to. I want to hold her close to my chest and kiss away her tears. She's trying to hold her head high, but I know she's breaking. So, I pull her closer to me and wrap an arm around her.

I don't say sorry or anything, I just hold her because she hates feeling pitied. Sometimes it's better not to say anything in a situation like this.

Her body shudders against mine as she holds in her sobs.

"Is...is it bad that I'm starting to forget his face?" she asks quietly against my shirt. "He was so important to me...and I'm forgetting him! I can't remember the exact shade of his hair...and his smile is watered and blurred. Peeta, is that bad?" She basically pleads with me to answer. And it's times like this where Katniss needs a friendly face. She needs me because I used to be there for her like this.

My hand hovers by her cheek, and I hesitantly caress her cheek. "No, no. Katniss, of course it's not. Don't ever think that it is." I murmur softly. "Your memory may start to become weathered...but you'll always have him in your heart. And that's what's most important."

"What kind of person starts to forget what their father looked like?"

"Katniss, don't do that to yourself. Our memories are fragile, and often times we're not able to keep them all. Does that make sense?" I ask, and Katniss takes a step back while shaking her head. I lick my lips and begin to explain in a different way. "Your father wouldn't want you to be hung up over what he looked like when you have no control over you memory...he'd want you to make new memories. He'd want you to enjoy life."

Katniss pushes away from me and stumbles a few feet back. "You don't know a damn thing about what my father would want!"

"He was like a second father to me, Katniss!" I say back, I know it's not far to say that I was close to him too, but Katniss needs to know what her father would've wanted. "Those nights when you'd fall asleep on me...On my way out, me and your father would always sit on the porch and talk. Katniss, he told me to make sure the light in your eyes never left...I promised him."

She stares at me in silence for a few moments before her shoulders slump, and she goes over to sit against the wall. Unsure of what to do with myself, I go a sit by her with a space between us.

"I still remember your valedictorian speech." Katniss says quietly after minutes of agonizing silence. I don't know if she brings it up to forget about her father, but I go along with it anyway. "It was different than the one you practiced in front of me."

"Yeah...well, things changed and so did my speech." I shrug, the memory of our break-up fresh in my mind.

"_Now I'd like to call up this year's Valedictorian, Peeta Mellark." Mr. Cinna says at the podium, and a loud applaud erupts from the crowd of many family members. We're seated by last name, so fortunately, I end up sitting beside Finnick. He gives me a pat on the shoulder and a loud whistle. On my way past the rows, my eyes catch on the raven-haired girl who broke my heart just under twenty-four hours ago._

_Mr. Cinna gives me a smile as I pass him on my way to the podium. I stand in front of the large crowd, over three hundred eyes staring at me. My hands play with the piece of paper, but as I stand there in my black gown and mortarboard with a broken heart, I decide to fold up the paper. My eyes fall on my family; my dad winks, Aaron has a small smile, Chase is making inappropriate gestures at me, and even my mother showed up._

"_I'm Peeta Mellark, and I welcome all of you to a very special celebration of the starting of a new chapter in our lives." I say confidently into the microphone, with my voice being projected throughout the whole auditorium. Though, I'm not confident at all, I'm close to tears because just a few feet away is the girl I love who broke my heart less than twenty-four hours ago._

"_Y'know, I had this whole speech prepared. But why should things be planned? Life is all about twists and turns that you can never fully prepare for anything. And...throughout my high school years, I've come across so many unexpected things. Like becoming best friends with a guy who's about as interesting as it gets." _

_Finnick shouts out from behind me, "Love you, too, Peet!"_

_Laughs from my fellow peers, teachers and members in the audience are heard. "Or meeting a girl who's like your sister." I look over my shoulder at Madge, and she smiles. "Even finding a person you could call your other half." I want to look over at Katniss, but I don't. "The thing – that I've learned - is no matter what, life is going to be shitty."_

"_You're going to have those days when nothing will ever go right, and you feel as though your whole life has no meaning. But all of us here at Capitol High...we've all experienced those days. Sure, Mrs. Mason gave killer Calculus tests, and you just wanted to give up-" A cheer comes from the teacher's section, and the snarky, pixie cut teacher gives me a thumbs up. "But, every teacher taught us that life will continue to knock you down. And that life doesn't pass easily, you've got to work to get somewhere. I'm not going to lie, right now I'm having one of those days where nothing is right. And if it weren't for all these lovely, amazing, dedicated teachers and an interesting high school experience, I probably wouldn't have showed up today."_

_My next words will seem directed towards the graduating class, but really, I'm only hoping Katniss will understand them. "Whatever we go through, there's always a way to fight past it. No matter how hard it gets, you can overcome it. And deep down in our hearts, that's what makes us Tributes. I will always be glad to be known as a Tribute of Capitol High. We may leave Capitol, but the Tribute will never leave us." I raise my hand to my lips, placing three fingers and then outstretching them to the audience, then I turn and do the same to my fellow graduates. My classmates all return the salute, and wave their diplomas in the air while they cheer._

_I step down from the podium, and Mr. Cinna goes up to speak. "After an amazing speech to end it off...Ladies and Gentlemen, I know present to you, Capitol High's graduating class of 2007!"_

_Everyone around me cheers as we all take our mortarboards off, and throw them up in the air. Finnick turns to me and pulls me into a brotherly hug. "Man, we fucking did it! We're officially high school graduates!"_

"_I know, Finn. Proud of you, bud!" I say with a pat on his back. Finnick nods and smiles, before going off to find his family. While I walk down the stage, many parents, classmates and teachers stop to shake my hand and offer me congratulations and props. But I barely listen as I hurriedly search the crowd for Katniss. She can't leave yet..._

"It was still really good." She says, "You've always had a way with words."

I laugh and roll my eyes. With distaste I say, "I was always the golden boy with a silver tongue."

Katniss turns to look and me, and gives a slight shake of her head. "You were much more than that, Peeta."

"I wish I believed you."

"Why don't you?"

I shrug and look away from her. I wanted people to know me for who I am. I wish they thought more of me than just the good looking guy who had a way with words. I was more than that, well I used to think so. But after a while, you just start to believe what people tell you rather than what you think of yourself.

Katniss sighs. "How'd you even get in here? Effie doesn't really let random guys roam around this place."

I can't help but chuckle. "I know Effie – work with her, actually."

"_What_? You do?"

"Yeah. She's Ms. Trinket, the _bubbly _guidance counsellor." I say sarcastically, and Katniss snorts.

"Oh, I'm sure all the kids love her!" Katniss replies mockingly.

We fall into another silence, and I can't help but replay Madge's words in my head. _Katniss still cares..._

I suck in a deep breath for what I'm about to do. I hope this all goes well, and I'm hoping Katniss can really show me that she still cares...

"You up for a walk in the park?"

* * *

**A/n: Snaaaapppp. What do you think Katniss will say?**

**Katniss opened up easily to Peeta because she's familiar with him, and even though she's guarded, Peeta's still a comfort to her in her insecure moments even if she doesn't want him to be.**

**I've started a new Everlark fanfic, ****_Rebellious Love,_**** in case any of you are interested.**

**Review, PM!**


	9. Chapter 9

**A/n: IT'S OFFICIALLY SUMMER AND I PASSED ALL MY EXAMS!**

**And two days ago I went to the best Taylor Swift concert. If you're a Tswift fan, then you might be able figure out where I live. But if any of you are Swifties and you've been to her Red tour concert, feel free to PM me about it. I had a blast!**

**Okay, so one last note, I have a new Everlark story if you want to check it out. It's called ****_Rebellious Love._**

**Also, during Katniss and Peeta's park scene, the song ****_Specks _****by Matt Pond PA inspired me a lot for it. I don't know why. But give it a listen during that part if you want!**

**I do not own The Hunger Games.**

* * *

Katniss stares at me for a few agonizing seconds before looking away. "Okay."

I do a double take, and gape for a second. "Wait, what?" She didn't just agree to that, did she? That was _too _easy. She's just joking...yeah.

Katniss rolls her eyes and stands up. "Peeta, we both know you heard me."

I follow her up with a dumbfounded look on my face. Katniss is _actually agreeing _to spend time with me. It's not like those other times where I showed up unexpectedly at her door, or when she comforted me as I cried..._wait._ Is she the one in need of some comfort now? Is that why she's saying yes? She'll use me to feel better, but after that I'm out...

_Peeta, Katniss isn't like that._

Shaking the thought from my head, I decide, that even if that's the case, I'll still be there to comfort her. Maybe it will remind her that we still need each other in many ways. I just want her to look at me like she used to; unguarded without the thought that I have some ulterior motive to ruin her. Because I don't.

I want to _fix_ her.

And perhaps, she can fix me, too.

"Are you going to stand there all night?" My vision focuses back in on the hardwood floor I was staring at, and my head snaps up to Katniss standing at the door. "Really, if you'd rather stare at floors all night, then that's cool, too. I don't judge, Peeta." Her lips quirk up the tiniest bit at her remark, and I can't help but do the same despite my uncertainty of how I'll convince her to be open with me.

"Thanks for not judging me, Katniss. But I'd much rather go on a walk with you."

Something crosses her face causing her half smile to drop in an instant. I don't have time to try and figure out what went wrong before she's leaving the studio. I jog to catch up with her down the hallway, just in time to catch Effie, too.

"Katniss, darling, how was your dance time? Was it great? Did you relieve-" Effie stops her chatter when I walk up behind Katniss. She looks between me and Katniss once or twice before speaking again. "Ah, Peeta!" Then she looks back at Katniss, "Is Mr. Mellark bugging you, dear?"

Katniss hides her laugh and shakes her head. "No, it's fine, Effie. I can handle him."

Effie looks thoughtful for a moment as she surveys me with her eyes. "I suppose so. Be careful, he's a charming man with a tainted soul." With that she pats Katniss's shoulder and walks away.

I stand there in shock for a moment. _Tainted soul?_ What the Hell is that supposed to mean?

Katniss bursts out laughing as we exit the studio after I pull my shoes on. We begin walking down the sidewalk to the big main park of the city, and I turn to look at her.

"What the – I do _not _have a _tainted soul_." I say with emphasis. "I'm sorry...but that woman is batshit crazy. How is she even a guidance counsellor?"

Beside me, Katniss chuckles and shakes her head. "Oh, those poor kids."

I laugh and we fall into a silence as we walk the the entrance of the vast park. There are paths through the trees – which we will not be taking considering we'll get eaten alive by bugs, then there's a huge duck pond nearby with a walk in garden that's at least the size of a soccer field.

Wordlessly, we make our way to the duck pond, and find ourselves sitting on the bench near the pond lit by the setting sun. Well, the sun is practically below the horizon, so it's not too light out.

"I'm surprised we never came here when we were younger." Katniss says thoughtfully after a while of silence. I almost laugh every time either one of us refers to _when we were younger..._ it makes us sound so old.

"Yeah. But I recall _someone_ never liked how crowded it was on warm days." I say back with a half grin.

**Katniss POV**

I stop myself from staring at him too long. His half grin nearly drags me back in, but I look away before I do something stupid like admit how I feel. I'm being selfish anyways. Here's Peeta Mellark, the best guy out there, and I hurt him so badly, but I want him _so badly. _How is that fair? How is it fair that I can hurt him, but then want him back for my own selfish reasons – so I can feel safe and comforted, and happy?

That's not right.

He doesn't deserved to be hurt twice by me.

A late evening breeze whips through the air, causing me to slightly shiver now that the suns has almost fully disappeared. And of course, Peeta notices. Before I can even get a word out, he's taking off his navy blue shirt and handing it to me. He's only left in a thin, white undershirt...that outlines his muscles-

_Stop._

"Here, put this on. It'll keep you kinda protected from the breeze." Peeta says and hands the shirt to me. I stare at it, but make no move to grab it. "Katniss, take the shirt." He sighs.

"No, Peeta. You're obviously going to be cold then." I say back, and chance a look at him. _Bad idea._ His eyes are shining bright and another one of his grins appear. And I don't have the strength to look away.

He turns a bit in his seat and holds the shirt over my head, then he starts to pull it on me. I struggle as my head goes through the hole-

"You know, you're making it look like I'm kidnapping you right now." Peeta says with a laugh, then he finally pulls the shirt all the way down. "There. Fits _perfectly._"

I snort and look down at the ripples of the shirt, that will no doubt stop about mid-thigh. I used to borrow his sweaters when we were teenagers for the same reason I'm going to have trouble parting with this shirt. _His smell._

Peeta's always smelled great. And he almost smells the same. I still smell the fresh cinnamon smell mixed in with a sugary scent and his cologne. It's takes everything I have not to bunch up the shirt and smell it.

"Hey, Katniss?" Peeta asks, and I look at him. His eyes lock on mine, and he hasn't lost his ability to hold my gaze.

"Yeah?"

"I'm still me, you know." He says softly. "I'm still Peeta. I haven't changed really, maybe except for my physical appearance...but I'm sure if you looked a little more, you'd still find _me._" His words are soft and gentle just like _Peeta. _The tree's leaves bristle in the light breeze, and the park lamps light his eyes. Everything around us starts to fade as I look up at him.

Peeta. Peeta is still the same as I remember. No locket, picture, or weathered memory in my mind could ever match the feeling that's inside me right now. Having Peeta here is much more than I could've imagined, and that scares me, but makes me want him even more.

_Selfish._ I feel selfish, but I want Peeta even after all I've done to him. Does that make me a bad person? Yes. And that's what's stopping me from reaching out.

"Penny for your thoughts?" He says once I don't say anything back, and I crack a small grin at his question. I shake my head slowly and look down the cement. "I don't actually have a penny on me, so that's good then." His attempt at lightheartedness is endearing and infuriating.

Why can't he just give up on me? But then again, it's cute how he can always make the best of a situation. _Ugh, Peeta._

All of a sudden I start to feel guilty when I remember that it's my _dead_ father's birthday, and I'm sitting here contemplating my feelings for Peeta. _Daughter of The Year award._

"Your dad was a good man. Very humble, too." Peeta muses quietly. I turn to look at him with question. He must already know that because he says, "Instead of getting upset over the human capability to withhold memories, I think we should respect your father's birthday with nice things to say about him. I started with humble. Your turn."

I stare for minute in shock. Peeta has managed to turn my mood upside down with just a few sentences. And his thoughtfulness is something I only wish to have.

"He was the funniest man I knew." I say quietly while looking out at the pond.

Peeta shifts beside me and stretches his legs out, crossing them at the ankles. "Oh, so I guess I'm second funniest..."

A small smile tugs at my lips. "Yeah, sure."

"Wise." Peeta says out of nowhere, taking his turn. "Your dad was wise. Gave the best advice I'd ever gotten."

"He gave you advice?" I ask incredulously, turning to look at him. "About what?"

Peeta smirks at me, his blue eyes playful. "You...he gave me advice about you."

"And you...took it?"

His smirk grows wider and he shrugs. "I don't know. That's my secret to keep."

All of a sudden, all of these memories of my father come back full force, and I shut my eyes tight to keep from crying. Usually I'm able to get over it, but sometimes _this_ happens. Where I just can't shake that feeling of missing him. That feeling of emptiness when I realize that he's never coming back.

Peeta notices my new shift in mood when I feel his warm hand on my back. "Katniss, is everything okay?" I don't even attempt to put on a brave face as I feebly shake my head. His hand starts to rub soft circles on my back and it feels so good to have Peeta comforting me. "What's wrong?"

"I-" I don't even finish my sentence before my own personal greed takes over. "Peeta, I want you to hold me."

He looks at me for a second, momentarily confused. I take matters into my own hands, and I lean into him wrapping my arms around his torso and burying my face into his shoulder. Hesitantly, his arms wrap around me and he still rubs reassuring circles on my back.

_You're selfish, Katniss._

And I really am. Peeta's giving me all these chances, telling me that he basically still cares for me, and here I am taking advantage of that for my own personal needs. I'd like to hug him and _be _with him, but I'll just hurt him.

"It's alright, Katniss. I'm here." Peeta whispers soothingly. "I'm here..."

I'm so repulsed by myself. Using Peeta especially after what I put him through? I don't deserve this, or him. I pull away, and almost instantly miss the feel of his arms around me.

He opens his mouth to say something, but I cut him off. "We should probably get home. I'll drive you." Quickly, I stand up and feel his shirt unravel down to my thighs. I walk quickly through the park and down the sidewalk, but Peeta's long legs have no problem keeping up.

The car ride is silent, I know Peeta wants to say something. Either he's not sure what to say, or he's too scared that if he says it he'll push me away. Knowing Peeta, it's probably the second option. I don't blame him either, I'm irrational most of the time.

I pull up into the building's parking lot and park in my assigned spot. We sit there in silence for a second before I kill the engine and get out of the car. Peeta follows me, and we walk into the building and up the stairs together. His door comes up first, and I somewhat feel nervous. I don't know why, though. This wasn't a date, so I don't get why I can't just keep walking toward my door.

"Katniss, um, I'll see you later." He says with a small smile, then he takes a few steps forward. My heart speeds up, he can't kiss me. He can't-

My heart rate seems to decrease and increase once his lips softly place a kiss to my cheek. The spot tingles, and I'm sure I'm blushing. As much as I hate to admit, I missed that so much. I missed his lips, even if they weren't directly on mine.

"Bye, Peeta...I-" Abruptly, I cut myself off and continue down the hall to my apartment. When I get inside, I close the door quickly. When the smell of cinnamon hits me, I look down to see Peeta's shirt on me. I breathe in, hoping to clear my mind, but only one question stays.

What the Hell just happened?

**Peeta POV**

My lips tingle from Katniss's cheek, and even though I'm very confused as to what exactly happened at the park, I'm also happy that maybe it's possible Katniss feels the same way.

I open up my apartment door, and my smile is replaced with one of confusion. Aaron, Chase and Clove all sit in my living room. Chase and Aaron with red eyes, and Clove with glazed eyes. Normally, I'd ask them how they got in, but I gave Chase a key for emergencies. I go to ask them why the didn't text me, but then I spot my cellphone on the coffee table on the couch. Suddenly, it feels as if a heavy weight has been dropped in stomach. _Something isn't right._

Chase jumps up from his spot next to Clove on the couch. He rubs his eyes and then crosses the room, engulfing me in a hug. He quickly pulls away and puts his hands on my shoulder. I stare back into his blue eyes with worry. What is going on?

Aaron stands next to him and puts a hand over Chase's. "Guys...what the Hell is going on?"

"Peeta..." Chase says my full name, and I know this is going to be bad. He seldom uses it unless it's serious. "Dad...Peeta, dad – he, um, he passed away. Had a s-seizure...and it...Peet, he's _gone_." Chase sobs, the three of us – me, Chase and Aaron – all pull each other into a big hug.

My happy mood from just minutes ago is gone as quick as my short breaths come out. No. _No_. He's not dead. My father isn't dead! He was going to get better, and he was going to be okay. He was supposed to. I need him.

I squirm out of their grasp and push away. "He's not gone. Chase, he's not gone!"

Tears run down Chase's cheeks as he shakes his head. "Peet, I'm so sorry. He is."

"He had a seizure...it was so bad-" Aaron tries to add in, but he gets choked up and takes a deep breath. "It basically destroyed his brain cells."

My hands grasp at my hair and I just want to yank it out. I furiously blink away my tears, but they keep coming. Clove walks over and hugs Chase as he cries. Aaron stands there helplessly as I brush past all of them and grab my phone from the table. I press the home button only to have a picture me and Dad. It's recent from a few months ago, and he was alive. _Alive._ I clench the phone in my hand and throw it. I hear it clatter on the ground somewhere by the front door.

"This isn't fair!" I yell and before I really even know what I'm doing, I'm in my bathroom with the door locked. I rip off the stupid blue shower curtain that used to belong to Dad, I grab the matching towels off the rack and throw them at the door. "Stupid curtain...stupid towels," I spit out with tears.

I spin the shower faucet to the hottest my skin can bear as I stand under the steaming water flow fully clothed. The hot water stings my skin, and the pain is enough to invade my thoughts, but not enough to make the thoughts of my father go away. Slowly, I slide to the bottom of the tub and I pound my fists on the tiles that surround me.

"Dad, come back." I whisper. The water mixes in with my tears, and maybe if I try hard enough, I'll wake up from this nightmare. _Be real, Peeta. _I look up and see the pile of towels and the curtain. My tears start flowing faster and faster, so I turn off the water and gather the pile. I burst out the bathroom door to see Aaron leaning against the wall. His eyes widen and I quickly make my way out of the apartment and I'm walking down the hall to the garbage chute.

"Peeta, what are you doing?" Aaron calls after me from the other end of the hall. Chase follows behind him and his eyes are sad and pleading.

I turn around and wipe my tears with one hand. "I'm fucking throwing this out, Aaron! I can't stand to look at it!"

"Peeta?" A quiet voice says behind me. I turn around, and when I see her face, my shoulders slump like I've lost all my strength. The pile in my arms drops to the ground, and Katniss moves closer, but I back away.

"He's dead." I whisper.

And she can't even pull me into her arms before I'm walking away from her. I run back inside my apartment. I immediately go to my bedroom ignoring Chase, Clove and Aaron, and I strip my clothes off in a wet pile and throw on a pair of boxers.

I crawl under my covers like I used to when I was little and scared of my mother's beatings. I'd cry myself dry and wait until my father would come into my room and tell me everything was going to be okay.

Except this time he won't be coming.

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**a/n: Don't hate me...I had this planned when I first started the story.**

**Just don't hate me guys. It will get better eventually, trust me!**

**So, I worked hard on this chapter between Katniss and Peeta's interaction, and Peeta's father's death and Peeta's reaction to it.**

**I'm really hoping for some feedback on this chapter, please!**


	10. Chapter 10

**A/n: Quick update!**

**This chapter brings out many feels...so just beware. ;)**

**Thank you to all of you who have read this story! I can't believe the amount of feedback and support I've gotten for this story. It's truly unbelievable. You're all amazing.**

**Enjoy the chapter!**

**I do not own The Hunger Games.**

* * *

Everything after the darkest day goes by in a blur.

I remember bits and pieces; hearing Katniss outside my locked bedroom door, Finnick begging me to open up, even Madge quietly trying to coax me out of my room. But I couldn't. I couldn't face the world without the man who taught me everything.

Finnick had told me that he called my boss – Principal Paylor – and explained my father's _demise_. She was more than willing to give me the school week off. But honestly, I'd rather be teaching a room full of students than standing in front of a crowd of teary-eyed people.

I haven't even looked at his _open_ casket yet. It'll hurt too much to see his kind faced outlined in soft wrinkles from age and laughter. _Oh, he was such a good guy. _He didn't deserve to die. It wasn't his time yet...I still needed to spend more time with him. He was getting better, or he was _going_ to be better soon. Why take that chance away?

Why take my father away?

My throat becomes dry as I stand tall in front of the pews of people, trying to gain everyone's attention. Almost every face is recognizable; my dad's old friends, his brother, a few of my second cousins and their spouses, and of course – Chase, Clove and Aaron. But even Finnick, Madge and _Katniss _are present, quietly sitting next to my brothers on one of the pews of the church.

I was given the job of my dad's eulogy, considering I was the closest to him and I can speak to crowds of people. But it doesn't feel like that today.

"I'd like to thank you all for coming," my voice comes out hoarse and throaty. "My father, some of you know him as your brother, Uncle John, or even just that friendly guy who loved to laugh. To me, he was like superman. He taught me everything. From teaching me how to ride a bike, to changing car tires...I learned most of my life lessons from him." I say with a small, reminiscent chuckle. I wish he could bug me just one more time about some mistake I had made.

"He had something that's hard to find in many people. He had a heart of pure gold. Everything he did...he did it in a way that made sure others were...just happy. I don't know how to explain it, but he just had this _shine_ about him." I feel my adam's apple start to bob as I choke down tears, but one slips out and slides down my cheek. Hastily, I wipe it away and take in a deep, choked breath. "He'd been facing an uphill battle for the last five years...and he was so strong. Right now, I'm trying to remember all that he taught me about being strong, but this was _never_ a lesson. There was never a lesson on how to cope with losing your favourite person. I just wish I didn't have to go through this lesson without him. I know this isn't a happy event, so I'm not going to make it one. But I will make sure I remember who my father was to me, and how special he still is. And I want you all to do the same."

My vision becomes watery as I quickly walk away from the front of the church and out the front doors. The fresh air is almost bracing, but my mind swirls crazily as I try to calm myself down. I guess delivering the eulogy made me realize that he is _never_ coming back. This is real life, there are no re-dos, or rewinds.

I feel a small hand grab my arm, but I don't turn to face them. What can anyone say that will make me feel better? _Nothing_.

"Peeta," And hearing Katniss' voice pains me even more for an unknown reason. Maybe she'll see that I don't have it together, and she won't want anything to do with me.

I blink a few times to clear my tears, and when I do – she's in front of me. Her hands reach up and her thumbs gently wipe the tears from my cheeks. "It'll be okay."

I shake my head. "It's not going to be okay! You-" I don't finish my sentence before I collapse into her arms. I rest my head on her shoulder as she gently places her hand on the back of my head.

"Your speech was beautiful." She whispers softly.

I entangle myself from her and shake my head, a cynical laugh escaping me. "It was shit. No, wait, my life is shit."

"Peeta, take a deep breath, please." She says, her grey eyes pleading with mine.

"Katniss...you don't-"

"Peeta Mellark, don't you dare tell me that I don't understand." Katniss snaps firmly at me. "You're hurting, I know-"

Aaron's voice cuts off Katniss, and we both look over at my older brother standing on the steps of the church. "We're starting the burial service. Peet, we need you."

Aaron and Katniss share a sad smile. This isn't how I wanted them to meet again, not at our father's funeral. I wanted to bring Katniss to a holiday dinner and reacquaint her with them.

But nothing is working out; Katniss _isn't _my girlfriend, and this is certainly not a holiday dinner.

* * *

I'm standing next to Aaron, holding my head high like Dad would've wanted, but it takes every ounce of effort in me to do so. As the casket is slowly lowered to the ground, I realize something: I never got to see him one last time before the closed the casket. _I never got to see him._

"Wait," I call out desperately. I run over to the rectangular space, only to see his casket all the way at the bottom. "No...no! I never got...I never got to see him!" I drop to my knees and stare down at his dug out grave with tears. Strong arms grab me, and I struggle wildly against them. "I just want to see my father!"

"Peeta, calm down!" Chase says in my ear while pulling me away from the dug-up ground where my father lies. "We all_ do_! We all do, Peet."

I hold in my cries and tears while Chase holds me in place until it's our time to pick up a handful of dirt and toss it in. Hesitantly, he lets go of me to go drop his own hand of dirt, and my feet drag as I follow him over to the edge of the grave. When I grab a fistful of the dirt, it feels like acid. It burns my hand and heart, making me quickly release it over his shiny, black casket.

What's so symbolic about throwing dirt onto your father's grave? It's like you're burying him yourself...like it's your fault he's on his way to becoming a rotting corpse in the ground among many.

Maybe it _is_ my fault. Maybe I didn't try hard enough to find him the best help. Maybe I should've tracked down my mother and pressed charges. _Maybe, maybe, maybe._

I stumble away from his grave, as the leader of the service announces the last of whatever he was supposed to be saying. All I saw was the movement of his lips, and then all of the people who decided to wear black today, came up to my brothers and I with their pity and sorrow filled condolences.

We opted to not hold a luncheon after the service, we're too emotionally and physically drained to essentially entertain a group of people – half of which barely knew my father in the last few years of his life. They probably didn't even care much about him, the visitor's log at his disabled home was proof enough.

I barely listen to what anyone has to say. I just accept their hugs and words, and hope that they leave quickly. Because I'm barely holding on right now, one wrong move and my world will cave in more than it already has.

When the last person leaves the four of us – me, Aaron, Chase and Clove – we stand under the afternoon sun in silence. Aaron throws an arm over my shoulder, and we embrace in a brotherly hug. He pats my back a few times before we pull apart.

Aaron's eyes aren't the soft blue which me and Chase inherited from Dad, instead they're a light green, much like our mother's. Sometimes, I think he hates that it resembles him to our mother. I would, too, if I were him.

"So, that's it." Chase says dejectedly as he comes over to stand beside Aaron with Clove. Clove nods at Chase, and she walks away, probably wanting to give us some time together. "I think we...all need to stay in touch more."

Even though Chase is the jokester and wild card of our family, he is also the most level-headed, in my opinion. I think too much with my emotions, and Aaron always fell into the facts of everything. Chase was the one who had the best solutions, and seemed to keep it together most of the time.

I look down and loosen my dark grey tie – I chose to skip formalities and wore the first tie my father had got me, rather than the traditional black tie.

"Yeah, that's a good idea." Aaron adds in, and we all look at each other.

I don't think we've ever realized how much we need each other. All of us – the three of us are all we have left, basically. And even with our blonde hair and childhood memories that tie us together...we've never been brothers more than we are right here, right now.

Chase's blue and Aaron's green eyes settle on me, and they're both waiting for me to say something since I haven't spoken much. Slowly, I feel myself nod. "I...I love you guys." This brings another round of my tears, once I realize how much _I'm _going to need them in my healing process. "Don't let me lose myself. Please...keep me here." Both of my brothers pull me into a big hug, and I hear them sniffle, too. "I-I wanna still be me." I whisper quietly into their suits.

"We're here for you, bro." Chase says softly, "We're always going to be here, Peet."

* * *

To keep in touch, the three of us started one of those group messages on our iPhones. We check in throughout the day, and it does make me feel a little bit better. But not much.

Just yesterday I watched my father's casket holding _his_ body lowered into the ground. It tears me apart that I never got to look at him one last time before he went. It's my fault though, I should've been a man and faced my fear. I should've looked at his damn face! It was right there!

I called Paylor and told her I'd come back in tomorrow – Wednesday. I can't sit here and wallow in my sadness and pain for the next five days. Where would that get me? I'd still have a dead father, but with more tear-stained shirts on my bedroom floor.

A knock comes from my door, and I blink a few times, trying to get rid of the dryness in my eyes. When I go over and swing open the door, my breath catches in my throat.

"Hey," Katniss says softly. Shouldn't she be at work? It's noon.

"Hi." I manage out in a thick rasp. I haven't spoken since yesterday afternoon. "What are you doing...here?"

She walks past me and into my own place without an invitation, and the notion of her being herself, _almost_ makes my lips tug upward. _Almost._

"It's lunch break at the school." She says, "I wanted to see how you were."

"Awful. I'm awful." I spit out.

"You know, a wise guy once told me to keep those who we love in our hearts...even when they're gone." She says while picking up an empty beer bottle from the coffee table.

"Yeah, well he wasn't speaking from first-hand experience at the time." I say back neutrally.

Katniss turns to me and raises an eyebrow. "Now...it makes sense, kinda."

"What?"

"What you said...everything you've said." She admits sheepishly. "Maybe not everything bad _only_ happens to me. It happens to everyone. And it hurts so damn much, but that's life."

I shrug and shake my head. "You believe me..._now_?" Now out of all times...

"I guess it just took the strongest, most confident man I know to fall apart for me to catch on." She says quietly, and we just stare at each other for a few minutes.

"My heart...it hurts _so_ much. I don't know what to feel anymore, Katniss. Everything's closing in on me...and it's like I'm trapped underground with his coffin...with his _blood_ on my hands." I struggle to get words out, and my breathing quickens. "Katniss, I can't take this anymore. I want to be myself-"

Katniss walks over to me, and she gently takes my face in her hands. "Peeta, take a deep breath. Okay? This isn't your fault...it just happened."

"My father's death isn't something that _just happened_!" I say back with frustration and push away from her. "I never did enough to help him. I never got him all the help I could've. Katniss, don't you see? It's my damn fault!"

"Peeta, knowing you, you did the best you could've." She says with a softness in her voice that was only reserved for Prim and me at one point. "Life isn't fair. But we've got to make the most of it. Right?"

"Please," I whisper quietly, my voice cracking, "make it all go away. I don't want this anymore...I don't want to live."

_**Katniss POV**_

And those words that leave Peeta's mouth nearly break my heart. This man in front of me was always so full of life and optimism, and now he's saying he doesn't want to live. Yes, it actually breaks my heart.

Tears pour from his eyes, and I quickly pull out my phone, asking my boss for the afternoon off. I can't leave Peeta, not now. Not after he just said those heartbreaking words.

Something hits me and sends a rush of panic and pain through me. I realize only one person will be damaged beyond repair if Peeta dies. Me.

Instantly, I wrap my arms around him and hope that he realizes his life is more valuable than he realizes. I've never been good with words, and I hope my actions don't fail me in my time of need.

"Your father would hate to hear you talk like this." I say softly, trying to get through to him. "I'm not saying it's bad to fall apart, but you need to remember all the things you have to live for."

"I have nothing to live for," he mumbles by my ear.

I shake my head and pull apart slightly, so I'm looking at him. "You have me."

"I haven't had you since I was eighteen."

A sad smile forms on my lips, and my heart beats wildly in my chest as I look into his broken, blue eyes. The words start to tumble out of my mouth before I can overanalyze them. "Well, I'm back now. You can have me...if you still want me."

"You won't run again?" He asks with such vulnerability in his voice, it makes my heart ache. "I won't be able to handle losing anyone else."

Scared that my words will fail me, I shake my head. I feel myself leaning closer to him, and I see he's doing the same. I close my eyes once his lips meet mine. It's everything I've missed over the last few years – his soft lips are firm, but salty from the tears.

And I know I should stop kissing him because it shouldn't happen out of the need for comfort or closeness...but I'm selfish and I need his lips on mine to ward away all my insecurities. Though I can't hide the feeling that maybe this is what I really want, too.

Peeta backs me up against the wall, and he deepens the kiss. I let him because it all feels so good. My hands grip his shirt tighter and his pull my hips closer. In the back of my mind, I know this is only digging us deeper, but I can't be bothered to care.

"What the hell?" A shocked voice comes from somewhere in the room, and Peeta jumps away from me. I catch a glimpse of his hurting eyes, and I have to look away before it becomes to much. "The fuck is going on?" Finnick stands at the door with Madge right behind him.

Peeta and I stay quiet, casting our glances down at the floor. I feel a hand close around my arm, and Madge begins pulling me out of the apartment. She closes the door once we're out in the hall, and she looks at me in confusion and disappointment.

"Madge-"

"Katniss, what the hell did I just walk in on?" She asks quickly with her eyebrows knitted together and her blue eyes wide. "Peeta is _hurting, _Katniss. You know how much he loves-"

"You better not be playing games with him, Katniss," Finnick comes out of the apartment with a glare. "He's so fucking messed up right now, and if you're kissing him for the wrong reasons..."

I've never seen Madge and Finnick this _furious _with me. But I look down at the ground with slight guilt. I was kissing him for partly the wrong reasons, but that's not all. "I still care about him."

"You better not be playing games, Kitty." Finnick says, softening his voice and using my nickname. "He really needs someone to help him through this. And you can't be messing with him."

"He's not the only broken one," I say back with a halfhearted scowl that slightly fails me.

"Kat, we've all lost someone–" Madge turns to look at Finnick, and he solemnly nods, probably referring to Annie Cresta. "–and I know you need to feel comfort, but that isn't fair to Peeta. Okay?"

"That was maybe part of it..." I admit guilty, and Finnick's eyes flare with anger before I quickly add, "But there was something there. I still...have feelings for him."

And that thought scares me so much, but it's true. I can try to deny it all I want, but it's never going to go away. Peeta still holds a special place within my heart.

"Aren't you guys supposed to be at work?"

Madge blushes and Finnick grins. "Lunch break."

I raise my eyebrows, "Lunch break, or lunch _date_?"

Before I can embarrass them anymore, Peeta's door opens and he steps out. Madge and Finnick look between us as his blue eyes lock with mine. "Katniss...I'm sorry."

An incredulous look takes over my face as I stare at him with a shaking head. "You have nothing to be sorry for." Madge holds up her spare key to my apartment and her and Finnick quietly leave us alone.

"That kiss was all my faul-"

"It takes two," I say with red cheeks. I meet his eyes to see the smallest smile, and it gives me a small surge of confidence. "Maybe next time we'll both be a little more emotionally stable."

"...next time?" He asks, though his eyes are still haunted and broken, the smile stays on his lips.

"Yeah." I whisper, and I raise my eyebrows, "Um...baby steps?"

Though it's the smallest smile Peeta's ever given, it gives me a little hope that maybe I can heal him. And maybe he can heal me, too.

"Baby steps."

* * *

**a/n: Emotional roller coaster chapter!**

**Just so we're clear...Katniss kissed Peeta to feel comfort ****_and_****deep down she wanted to because she still has feelings for him.**

**They're slowly coming together, Everlark feels alert.**

**Next chapter will have a lot of Katniss and Peeta. **

**Review and PM!**


	11. Chapter 11

**A/n: Oh jeez, sorry for the long wait.**

**I just got so caught up with plans and the nice weather that I haven't been able to finish this as quickly. I'll be quicker with the next update.**

**Check out my new Everlark fic if you want: ****_Treacherous._**

**I don't own The Hunger Games, or Back To The Future.**

* * *

I throw the browning apple core into the garbage can by my desk and thank God that this day is halfway done. I'd love nothing more than to just crawl under the covers in bed and block the world out. You'd think by the third day back at work it would get easier, but it seems to be getting harder. The only thing that's been brightening my days are texts from Katniss.

Honestly, I'm not sure where we stand since the day after my father's funeral. I'd be lying if I said I didn't like the kiss. . .but it happened at the wrong time and in the wrong way. It was supposed to be spontaneous and special – not frantic and whatever that was. Though, something she said gave me hope.

"_You have me."_

"_I haven't had you since I was eighteen."_

_A sad smile forms on on her lips. "Well, I'm back now. You can have me...if you still want me."_

Of course I still want her. I hope she was serious when she said that. I didn't want her saying that just because I was so emotionally distraught that I was talking crazy. I want her to _want _me because she still cares for me. I want it to be real.

My phone buzzes on my desk, and I pick it up to see three new messages. Two from Chase and Aaron in our group text, and one from Katniss. I open the messages from my brothers first.

_Chase: Hey bros, how's the day going?_

_Aaron: Dealing with stuck up rich people who can't decide on a house to buy = shitty. Other than that, I'm doing fine._

I let a small smile grace my lips as I read Aaron's response. He's a realtor, most of his clients are very well off, and their pickiness drives him mad. I type a response quickly, _Aaron just think of all the money you'll make. Though I don't believe money buys happiness...buying a beer could. Today...I'm hanging in there. Chase, how's your day?_

Scrolling down the screen, I tap on Katniss' message with anticipation. I read over the text carefully: _Hi._

The text is four characters long, but it leaves me with a smile nonetheless. My thumbs hover over the keypad with nervousness. What do I say? This is what happens every time she sends me a text. I go with my safe text and send: _Hey Katniss._

My phone buzzes with another text from Katniss almost right away: _On a scale of one to good - how is your day?_

I laugh to myself at her text. Katniss may not know it, but her understanding and funny simple texts are helping me so much. Just knowing that she still does care for me the slightest sends tingles through my body, and I start to think of the positive things in life.

_Very good...now, _I type back. _How's yours?_

The bell rings, signalling the end of lunch break. I get up to open my door, and I hear the hallway fill with the chatter of students. My phone buzzes in my pocket, and I quickly check it as my students filter in the classroom.

_Good. Have a good afternoon._

I smile and begin to pull out copies of _Hamlet_ for my English class. Katniss' texts fill me with an easier feeling – they took away the dread and replaced it with something to be happy about.

And I can never thank Katniss enough for helping me in a way she probably will never realize.

* * *

The apartment is spotless.

To keep my mind from wandering to dark places, I've been using cleaning as a sort of therapy. I'm surprised I haven't scrubbed the kitchen tiles to nothing yet. I've stopped making trips to the liquor store after I realized drinking away my sadness only numbed it for a little while. Also, Finnick had a stern talking with me, and we agreed that it wouldn't be beneficial for me to go to work hungover.

"_You're a role model, Peet," Finnick says with a softness to his voice, and I try to avoid his eyes. "Those students look up to you. Do you think your dad would've wanted you to go into work reeking of booze?"_

"_No," I mumble angrily, even though Finnick has a point. "He wouldn't get it though."_

"_You don't know that." Finnick nods and holds out his hand. "Now give me the vodka." I stare at him, then at his hand with hostility taking over. Being best friends since fifteen doesn't help me when he senses my inner debate. "Peeta, hand it over. You can't do this anymore. This isn't a good way to cope."_

"_I can't-"_

"_You know what Annie told me before she died?" Finnick asks and takes a seat next to me on the couch. He leans forward with his forearms resting on his knees while he looks down. "She told me it'd be hard to put myself back together. And shit, she was so right. But, I learned something from it; it takes ten times as long to put yourself back together as it does to fall apart."_

_I look at the bottle in my hand and shake my head, and Finnick continues, "Peet, it's obviously going to be hard. But I know you can get through this. You can put yourself back together with time."_

_His words hit me with a wave of sobriety, and I weakly hand over the bottle. Finnick takes it and walks over into the bathroom. I hear the faucet run, and then he returns with an empty bottle and a smile._

"_I want you to text me whenever you feel like you need to drown yourself in alcohol, and I'll be here. Sure I'm not as fun as vodka, but I'm better in the long run."_

_I run a hand through my greasy blonde hair and offer him my best smile at the moment. "Thanks, Finn."_

Finnick helped me more than he might have realized. When he's not being an annoying flirt, he's more insightful and profound than anyone would realize. I owe him. I owe him my sobriety, and for making me lose my dependence on alcohol before it got out of control.

"Do you think you could clean my apartment too?"

I turn around from dusting the TV, and Katniss stands in the doorway with a smirk. I wasn't too surprised to see her – she's past the knocking point now. Hell, she was the day we started dating as teenagers. She used to just walk into my house whenever she wanted. It earned many earfuls from my mother on my part, but I was just glad Katniss felt comfortable like that.

"Nope," I say back while setting down the duster. "I wouldn't want to neglect my spotless apartment."

"Maybe you could take a break for a little while," Katniss says and holds up the box set of our favourite movie trilogy. _Back To The Future._

I offer a weak smile and give her a shrug. As much as I want to spend time with Katniss, I can't shake that feeling of emptiness. And I can't imagine enjoying myself when my father's gone. Why can't I just let go?

"Peeta, I'm not taking no for an answer." I look down, avoiding her eyes. "I know you want to be alone...but I can't let you."

"Thanks, Katniss. But-"

"I don't want to hear it," Katniss interrupts me with a raised eyebrow, as if daring me to challenge her. She crosses the room and hands me the first movie of the trilogy. "I'll get drinks while you put this in."

She flips her loose, raven hair over her shoulder, and she offers me a small smile before turning around and disappearing into the kitchen. I pop in the DVD and the old 1985 film picture appears on the screen, and I pause it while waiting for Katniss.

I'm lost in my own thoughts while staring at the screen, and I snap out of it when Katniss flops down next to me on the couch. She holds out a bottle of Pepsi to me, and I wonder if Finnick told her about the alcohol situation.

She takes a sip of her Dr. Pepper and looks at me. "You have to play the movie in order to watch it, you know."

Despite my mood, I chuckle and press play on the remote. Instead of paying attention to the opening scene, my eyes land on her tight grey jeans and they travel up her legs to her black shirt, and then up to her...eyes. They're looking back at me with amusement. My cheeks heat up along with the tips of my ears.

"Hi, Peeta?" She says with sarcastic questioning. Her wavy hair falls over part of her right eye, and she smirks.

"Sorry," I mumble sheepishly and bite my lower lip. "Katniss..."

Katniss shakes her head, telling me to be quiet. She reaches out and gently brushes the hair off my forehead. Her touch leaves a tingly sensation on my skin and our eyes meet.

"Peeta," she says quietly, "I'm here for you. I want to be here, too. I want...to be here for you and _with _you." Her fingers slide down to my cheekbone, and I sit there basking in her touch – the touch I've been missing for six years. It's crazy to think how she can tell what I'm going to say before I even say it.

I close my eyes and hope this isn't some deranged dream. I've been having plenty of odd and frightening dreams since my father's passing. So, I take a deep breath with my eyes still shut. "You want to be with me. Real, or not real?"

I hear her breathe in, and she's quiet for a moment. "I do... Real, Peeta."

My eyes shoot open and I stare at her in disbelief. Sure, she said stuff the other day, but now it feels much more real and great. She sets down her Dr. Pepper and her grey eyes look around the room nervously until I gently grab her chin and turn her head back to me.

"Want to see where this goes?" I ask softly, referring to us and our friendship-relationship whatever this is. I don't feel like we're ready to be granted the titles boyfriend and girlfriend, but there's no denying our connection and interest in becoming that later on when we're ready – if we ever are.

Her bold side disappears, and she gives me a small nod. "Yes."

A smile graces my lips – probably the biggest one yet, and a small, reserved one lights up Katniss' face. Instead of pulling her in for a kiss, I pull her in for a hug. Resting my cheek on top of her head, I feel her hands grip the back of my t-shirt and her hot breath tickles my neck.

"We're missing the movie," Katniss whispers in my ear, though she makes no move to untangle herself from me.

"I'd much rather hold you than watch Marty McFly's mom flirt with him," I reply lightly, and Katniss shakes with quiet laughter. When we pull away, the scene where Marty gets hit by his mother's car in the past is on the screen, and I sigh. "Guess we didn't miss it after all."

Katniss laughs. "It makes me feel uncomfortable. Like, she's flirting with her future son and doesn't even know it." I supply a tight smile – no matter what I do to try and feel happy, my father always comes to mind. I need closure.

"Katniss?" I ask, thinking of a way to attempt to find peace within myself.

"Yeah?" She asks, and I can hear her shift beside me. "What's wrong?"

I take a deep breath and meet her eyes briefly. "Will...will you come with me to my father's grave? I need to say one last goodbye and don't want to go alone."

"Now?" I nod my head, and she breathes in. "You want me to come? Are you sure-"

"You're the only one who'll keep me sane."

* * *

Katniss walks next to me as we pass the church and walk down rows of headstones. Her hand is close enough to mine that they brush against each other periodically and I could reach out and grab it at any moment. She seems to be reflecting my thoughts when her warm hand closes around mine and her slender fingers weave through my fingers.

We reach his headstone with a fresh rectangular patch of dirt that hasn't grown grass yet. I sink to the ground, letting the soil mixture dirty the knees of my jeans as I read the engraved words:

_Brant James Mellark_

_Loving husband, father and brother_

_Jan. 20t__h__, 1957– March 2__nd__, 2013_

_Always in our hearts_

Unshed tears burn my eyes, and I reach out weakly and brush my fingertips over the letters of his name. They send a wave of calmness through me – almost like it's Dad trying to reassure me from Heaven. Almost like he's sitting me down at the kitchen table to give one of his talks.

_Peeta, sometimes you have to let go. You have to let yourself be free from sadness to move on._

The words come to me easily, as if he's putting them in my head from up there. He's giving me hints from beyond the grave. He's sending me messages – wanting me to be happy like he would've wanted all along.

Katniss gives my hand a squeeze, and I look up at her through my tear-blurred vision. "I'll just be over there," she says softly and points to a bench under a nearby tree. I offer a weak smile and nod, thankful she's able to tell I need privacy.

Still on my knees, I wipe at my eyes and stare at the headstone absentmindedly as words start to flow out of my mouth. "Hey, Dad. It's hard to grasp the fact that you're gone. And I'm slowly starting to realize that maybe this is okay. Maybe it's better that you're not suffering anymore. I tried to help you, really tried." I swipe my cheeks with the back of my hand and sniffle. "Oh God, Dad, I miss you so much. Chase and Aaron and I are closer now, I know you'd be happy to see that. I hope you're okay up there. I hope all your pain and suffering is gone, maybe that's better that what I could ever offer you."

My eyes leave the headstone and look up to find Katniss sitting on the bench. She gives me a small smile when she sees me looking over at her, and I try my best to return it. It's easier now that I feel a little bit of weight has been lifted off my shoulders. I avert my eyes back to the headstone, this time with a smile.

"You remember Katniss? I found her again, Dad. Guess you were right all along, huh? When you said, _if it's meant to be, you'll find each other again_. I found her, and this time I'm not letting her go. I'm gonna marry her, Pop. I swear I will. I just wish you'd be there in the front row – at least I know you'll be looking down on us?" I ask with some question in my voice, and in response a gust of wind picks up momentarily and Dad's favourite smell of spice fills the air. I smile with a chuckle. "She's really helped me since you left. At first we started out rocky, but now she's become like my _rock – _even though she doesn't know it. I think I'm her rock, too."

I breathe in and pat the top of the stone. "I still love her. I'm hoping you'll be able to look down on us and see how happy she makes me. I know you'll love seeing that. Don't forget about Chase and Clove's wedding. I know you'll be looking down on them, too. I think they'll visit you soon, they're more busy trying to keep themselves afloat. So am I, just in a different way."

"Don't worry about me, I'm getting better. Dad, I love you so much. And I miss you. Please keep an eye on all of us, and keep shining up in the clouds, old man." With one last sniff, I stand up and rub the dirt from my jeans, though it leaves two dark circles where my knees are. "Bye, Dad."

I walk away from where he lays, only casting one last look over my shoulder. I feel a sense of closure overcome me, and even though my pain and sadness is still there, it's not as overbearing. Katniss stands up as I approach her, and we fall into step while we walk through the rows and out to my car.

"Better?" She asks lightly.

My eyes connect with hers, and I offer up a smile. "Better."

We climb into our seats of the car and sit in silence for a few minutes while I try to hold back my final tears. Katniss turns to me, and I don't look her way. She reaches out and turns my head towards her with a sad smile. She wipes the last of my tears from under my eyes with her thumb and gently strokes my cheek before dropping her hand.

"I'm okay," I blurt out quietly, hating the fact that I feel so feeble.

"It's okay to _not_ be okay," she says.

I shake my head. "No. I'm feeling better, honestly."

"Okay." She lets it go after looking me over hesitantly, and sits back in her seat, putting the seatbelt on. I do the same and then put then keys in the ignition and drive off.

* * *

I walk Katniss down to her door, and we both stand there with slight awkwardness, like the time of our first date when we were sixteen. I didn't know if she wanted me to hug her, or kiss her. So, I opted for a simple kiss on the cheek with the promise of seeing her Monday morning in Chem.

Now it feels much different.

"Text me whenever you need to, okay? If you need me to come over I'm just down the hall." Katniss looks up at me with a smile, and I can't help but return it. "Peeta, seriously, though."

"Thank you." Her hand rests on the doorknob, but she doesn't turn it. Instead she bites her lip and looks down with red colouring her cheeks. I take small step closer, causing her to look up. Our chests are almost touching, and she subtly licks her lips. "Katniss...can I, um, kiss you...properly?"

A small grin works it ways on her lips and she nods. "Yes."

I take her face in my hands, bringing her lips to mine in a sweet, chaste kiss. Our lips mold together, and this kiss couldn't be more perfect considering where we stand. It's gentle, pure and innocent. The kiss fills me with hope for my emotional recovery, as well as hers. Even hope for whatever we can turn out to be.

We both pull away, and I rest my head by her ear while she rests hers just below my shoulder. Close to her ear I whisper, "_Where we're going, we don't need roads_."

* * *

**A/n: ****_Back_****_To_****_The_****_Future_**** quote, woooooo.**

**Once again, sorry it took so long to update.**

**This story will probably be up to 20 chapters long. I haven't decided yet.**

**Review, or PM me!**


	12. Chapter 12

**A/n: Early update!**

**Please read the author's note at the end of the chapter. **

**I do not own The Hunger Games.**

* * *

"Katniss, I know she's your little sister...but she's twenty-one now. Of course she's going to be dating-"

Katniss turns to me with questioning in her eyes, daring me to continue down my fateful path. I'm thankful the light turns green so I can break our staring match, and Katniss huffs beside me.

Ever since that evening when we went to my fathers grave we've been inseparable for the most part. During school hours we manage to send quick texts throughout the day, and usually sometime during the evenings I find myself on her couch or she finds herself on mine. We've kissed a few times since that day just over a week ago, but we're not rushing. Right now, I'm more so trying to re-learn how to be with her. It's easy falling into a comfortable pattern with each other – but we still have that little tension of uncertainty, thanks to the years we spent apart.

It was yesterday – Friday night – when I was enjoying a rerun of _That 70s Show _with Katniss when Primrose – her bubbly younger sister – called her up and demanded that they have dinner together so Katniss could meet her new boyfriend. Reluctantly, Katniss agreed and told her she was bringing someone, just not mentioning it was me to "_keep the element of surprise,"_ she said with a grin.

"It's just up here," Katniss says as she motions to a fancy restaurant called _Panem Steakhouse, _just across the street from an extravagant hotel called _The Capitol_. As I look for a place to park in the lot, I notice all the fancy cars and well-kept structures of this high end part of the city. As we park, I nervously look down at my charcoal coloured button up, black tie, and dark jeans, feeling underdressed.

Katniss must notice my discomfort because I feel her lean across the middle console, turning my head to face her. "You look very handsome," she says quietly with a red flush staining her cheeks. She reaches down and straightens out my tie before offering a smile. "There we go."

We get out of my car, and I fix my tucked-in shirt before meeting Katniss and taking her hand gently in my own. She looks extremely beautiful tonight – her hair falls in small waves down her back and across her shoulders, and she wears a soft orange dress that stops mid-thigh – a dress seldom used, only for special occasions – giving me a glimpse of her long, tan legs.

"You're wearing my favourite colour," I say as we enter through the restaurant doors, tons of different smells assaulting our senses all at once.

I don't miss the quick smirk that makes its way on her lips. "I know."

The waiting benches are full of people with annoyed looks, hoping to be seated soon. I scan their faces for fair skin and blue eyes, but I never spot it. Instead, Katniss gently pulls me in the direction of the host behind the podium. He looks me over with something close to disgust at my jeans, but his eyes appraise Katniss a little too much.

"Seneca Crane – how can I be of assistance? Reservations?" He asks with a smooth smile towards Katniss, making jealousy rise within me.

I feel Katniss squeeze my hand lightly before answering. "My sister made reservations. It might be under Everdeen-"

"Prim Everdeen for four?"

Katniss nods, and the man smiles and motions for us to follow him. Surprisingly, the restaurant is more quiet than the waiting area, only the sounds of dishes, cutlery, and small conversations are heard. Seneca leads us to the back corner of the restaurant where it's much more calm and secluded.

How did Prim manage to snag this?

We approach a booth, and sitting on one side is a guy with straight black hair styled nicely and bright green eyes. He's fairly well built, a little smaller than me. He looks reserved yet out-going; perfect for Prim. Next to him is the girl I thought a sister of. Her blonde hair has gotten lighter over the years, and instead of it being tied two braids, it's flowing down much like Katniss's. Prim hasn't changed much except for loss of baby fat replaced by defined cheek bones, and the _other changes_.

"Your table," Seneca motions with a smile before pattering away back to the podium. It's almost comical how Prim's face brightens at Katniss, but then her eyes widen when she sees me.

"Peeta?" She asks while sliding out of the booth, her eyes lock down at my hand intertwined with Katniss', and a big smile stretches across her face before she tackles me in a hug. "Peeta!"

I let go of Katniss' hand to hug her younger sister back; not only did I miss Katniss the last six years, but I've also missed the younger Everdeen, too. "Hey, Primmy. Still remember me, huh?" I say using her nickname while pulling away.

"Of course!" She whips around to Katniss, who's hiding a grin. "I can't believe you didn't tell me!"

"Surprise," Katniss says with a light chuckle before pulling her sister into a hug. They pull away, and we all turn to the sound of a cough. Prim's boyfriend awkwardly shuffles out of the booth. "Prim, aren't you going to introduce us?" Katniss says with a raised eyebrow.

Prim rolls her eyes with a smile and stands next to him. "Katniss, this is my boyfriend Colton. Colton, that's my sister and her..." she trails off looking between me and Katniss for help.

I take a step forward and offer my hand to Colton. "Peeta. I'm Peeta Mellark. Nice to meet you, Colton."

He gives a firm shake with a grin. "You too, Peeta."

His grin drops when he turns to Katniss, who's giving him her famous unwavering stare. Prim has probably told him about her protectiveness too, if I were him I'd be scared as well.

"Hi...Katniss. It's awesome to finally meet you-" he stammers, and sticks out his hand abruptly. "Prim has told me so much about you. I-uh, I'm glad you agreed to come."

Prim shoots Katniss a look that makes her relent slightly and shake Colton's hand. "Good to meet you, Colton."

We all slide into the booth with Prim and Colton on one side, me and Katniss on the other. We look over the menus, and everything looks so good, I sit back with contemplation.

"What's good here?"

Everyone shrugs, and Katniss turns to me with a smile. "I'm going to get the Lamb stew over rice."

I look over the menu quickly and decide on a steak meal. It is a steakhouse... "I think I'll get the Peppercorn Steak."

A waitress comes to take our drink and meal orders, I order water along with my steak aside from everyone else who orders something alcoholic. Katniss shoots me a look of some concern, but I brush it off.

"So, Katniss and Peeta, what do you two do?" Colton questions after the drinks arrive, taking a sip from his rum and coke.

I let Katniss answer first, considering this dinner is more about her and Colton meeting. "I teach English at Greywell," Katniss says and looks to me.

"I'm also a teacher. Teach English and Art at Burnley High."

Colton nods with a polite smile, and Prim makes a squeal of happiness. "That's so cool, you're both teachers!"

Katniss and I nod, under the table I give her knee a gentle squeeze. Her eyes widen in surprise and a blush spreads across her cheeks when Prim looks at her with questioning. I hide my smirk behind my glass of water, and Katniss gently hits my arm.

The waitress comes to our table, two trays in her hand. The Blue cheese Steak goes to Colton, the other steak goes to me. Prim and Katniss both ordered Lamb Stew, and once everyone is settled in, we all pick up our utensils and begin eating. I cut a piece and fork it in my mouth, my tastebuds water immediately and I savour the taste.

After a comfortable lull between the four of us, Katniss takes a sip of her drink and clears her throat. "Colton, um, what are you doing? Career-wise?"

Prim stiffens just slightly, and Colton looks down for a moment. Katniss watches both of them for minute, her eyes calculating and observatory. "Unless you haven't decided yet. Twenty-one is still a young age-"

"Oh, uh, I'm not twenty-one. I just turned twenty-three actually." Colton cuts in, sending Katniss' eyebrows up high on her forehead. She blinks quickly and tries to keep herself composed, she nods and offers a smile.

I know Katniss isn't happy about this – accepting that Prim has a boyfriend was hard, but now being blind sided by the age difference, even though it's only two years, has completely changed her mood for this evening.

I stuff my mouth with a spoonful of mashed potatoes, awaiting Katniss' next response. She doesn't say anything and waits for Prim or Colton to say something again. Prim looks a little uncomfortable, so Colton speaks again.

"To answer your question. . . I'm in the US Army." Katniss does a double take, and I even widen my eyes in surprise. Colton sets down his fork and gives Prim a reassuring smile before looking back at Katniss with seriousness. "The last thing you want to hear is that your younger sister is dating a solider, I get it. The uncertainty and dangers. . .look, I really care about Prim. And she's the reason I'll be fighting to come back when I go on my next tour."

Prim's eyes are glassy with unshed tears. And I surprise the table by speaking. "When's your next tour?"

"In three months. It'll be my second."

Prim makes a choking sound, and she slides out of the booth, rushing away. Katniss touches my arm to get me to move, but I shake my head. "Let me talk to her."

I get up and weave around tables and waiters, looking for any signs of where Prim may have ran off to. My eyes catch a sliding door leading out to the patio, and I walk through it to find Prim leaning against the rail with her back facing me.

"Can't say I'm surprised," she jumps at my voice but doesn't turn around. "You always wanted to save everyone in the world, so it's only fitting you found a guy who wants the same." I go stand next to her, looking over at the busy street with flashes of headlights passing by.

A stuffed chuckle comes out of her. "I lost my dad about two weeks ago. Your sister...she was there for me. Just like I'll be there for you when Colton leaves _and_ when he comes _back_."

"S-sorry," she stutters through her tears, and I'm reminded so much of the fourteen year old Prim. "About y-your dad."

"Don't be," I say after a deep breath. Katniss taught me to take deep breaths when I feel like I'm about to lose it. "Colton...he's good for you. Katniss knows it too, but we know how she can be. Always making things difficult."

Prim wipes at her eyes, careful not to smudge her makeup. "I feel so _dumb _for crying. I only met him a month ago, but once I met him it was like I knew he was the one. Call me crazy-"

"You're not crazy. I feel the same way about Katniss."

She finally looks up at me, she must be wearing waterproof makeup since she looks like she never cried. Her lips quirk into a smile. "She never dated anyone else, you know. How did you two meet again?"

I go on to explain the day we met outside my apartment door, her falling to the ground with boxes, me asking her to coffee, her running off – which Prim rolls her eyes and shakes her head at.

"Of course she did," Prim says. "Are you guys, like, a couple?"

I shake my head. "No. We're just seeing where it goes right now."

"Peeta...do you think Colton will be okay?" She asks weakly, and I throw an arm around her shoulders.

"I can't say," I say softly. "But I do know he has something worth fighting for. _Someone_ to come home to."

* * *

When Prim and I return to the table, Katniss and Colton are actually in conversation with a few laughs coming out of Katniss. I'd say we were gone ten minutes, so the food isn't too cold yet. Prim assures Katniss and Colton that she's okay now, and she offers a smile in my direction.

Katniss leans close to me when Prim and Colton begin their own conversation full of whispers. "Thank you," she says softly next to my ear.

I shrug with a smile. "It was no problem. How's the stew?"

Katniss takes her spoon, scooping up some rice and stew, and raises her eyebrows, then motions for me to open my mouth. I smirk and open my mouth, not moving my eyes from hers. She gently pushes the spoon in my mouth, and all too soon she's pulling it away. It feels as though we're in our own world right now. Just Katniss and me.

After I'm done swallowing the food, I lean forward and capture Katniss' lips with mine. Her lips taste like stew and wine, and it drives me crazy. Out of embarrassment, I pull away remembering Prim and Colton is our audience. Katniss' eyes open to find mine, and she gives me a shy smile.

I wouldn't mind having my own little world with Katniss. Forever.

Eventually Prim's giggles drag us out of our world, and Katniss blushes slightly. I return Prim's knowing smirk with one of my own. "Primmy, enlighten us on how you two met." I motion between her and Colton.

Prim doesn't blush like I thought she would, instead she laughs and leans closer to Colton. "I was at the store, buying _tampons_. And he was walking down the aisles looking for – what were you looking for?" Prim stops to ask Colton.

"Advil. I was looking for Advil and when I saw her grabbing the box I got all nervous and knocked down a shelf of toothpaste by accident-"

"Guys, he was more than nervous. His face got all red, and he was fidgeting like crazy."

Colton huffs with a slight smirk as he looks down at Prim with a glint in his eyes. "Maybe it was because you were so gorgeous!"

Prim pushes him slightly with a blush, and Katniss watches with a small smile on her face. Prim's smiling because Colton is, Katniss is because Prim is, and I'm smiling because Katniss is.

I lean close to Katniss. "Your smile is beautiful. I've missed it."

"Maybe I'll keep you around then," she says back with a smirk. I raise an eyebrow in question, and her smirk is replaced with a shy smile. "It's all because of you."

"I wouldn't mind staying around this time," I whisper. "You're certainly lovely."

* * *

"What's your rank?" I ask Colton while we sit on the curb of the parking lot. Katniss and Prim went to go talk for a few minutes, something about a _sisterly chat, _which is no doubt having to do with me and Colton.

"Second Lieutenant," he says and runs a hand through his hair. To say I'm surprised is an understatement. Good on him for being a lieutenant. "So you go back with Prim?"

I laugh and give a half shrug. "Kind of. Me and Katniss grew up together, same schools our whole life. So I knew _of _Prim. We didn't actually meet until I was about sixteen, when I started dating Katniss."

"Whoa, you've been with Katniss since you were sixteen? Man, that's awesome-"

"Not exactly," I say looking across the lot at the hotel across the street. "She, uh, kinda broke up with me the day before Grad. Didn't see her for six years until a little while ago."

Colton lets out a breezy laugh. "That's quite the story. You two...looked pretty in love this evening."

I look behind us at the bench Prim and Katniss are occupying, and I let a smile take over. I still love her. Does she still love me? "Yeah?" Colton nods, and I chuckle happily. "You think you love Prim?"

"Maybe," he says quietly, and now it's his turn to look back at the sisters. "Too soon to say for sure, but I think I'm on that path."

"Come home for her."

"That's what I intend to do," he says quietly. "Will you make sure she's okay while I'm gone?"

I reach out and pat his shoulder a few times. "Yeah, man. How long you gone for?"

"Til mid-December." His voice is sad and he rubs his face a few times.

"You'll be her Christmas miracle." I think back to a few weeks after Grad. "You know, I was almost going to join the army after Grad. I wanted to help people more than just inside a classroom. But, uh, problems with my dad came up."

"You wanted to be a solider?" He asks with surprise. "You know, there's training starting soon. If your serious, I could talk to a few people...and- sorry. I'm jumping ahead, aren't I?"

My curiosity is peaked and I shake my head. "No, no...continue."

"Well, um, I could always talk to a few of the guys I know. To speed up the process of accepting you. You could start training right away, and if your serious about it...I could get us on the same tour."

I sit there in silence, thinking. I like teaching, but I can't help but think there's more I could be doing to help people. I was serious about joining the army so many years ago, but I couldn't leave my father. Now if I join the army...I could look out for Colton – he could look out for me too – and I'd keep him safe for Prim. And if Prim stays happy, then Katniss will stay happy. _And _I'll be helping lots of others too.

"Here, add in your number and send me a text when you talk to those guys," I say handing him my phone from my pocket. "I'll call around and meet with a Recruiter." I already know the process and what I'll have to go through. I did a lot of research after Grad.

"You're serious about this, Peeta?"

I nod with determination. "Yeah. Hey, we'll look out for each other."

A smile lights up his face. "Alright, man. I got your back."

We both stand up from the curb, and I shake his hand firmly. "Thanks."

It's weird; it's weird how I can make up my mind just like that. The prospect of joining the army should scare me, but it doesn't. All I'm scared about is Katniss and Prim. How will she take the news? Should I tell her right away? But, I love her. I'm going to keep her and Prim happy while helping people.

This is what I'm supposed to do.

"Boys, what're you talking about, hmm?" Our heads snap sideways to a smirking Prim with Katniss at her side. We both drop our hands from the shake, and thankfully Colton gives me a look that lets me know he won't say anything yet.

"Umm...nothing really." My lie is awkward and not crafty, with this weight of telling Katniss resting heavily on me, I feel sick. I feel sick because I know I'll have to leave her. "Ready to go?" I ask, trying to ease the lie.

Katniss eyes me warily. "Uh..yeah. It's getting late."

Before I can blink, Prim jumps on me in a hug. I wrap my arms around her tightly before pulling away. "It was good seeing you, Prim. We'll have to get together again, missy."

"Definitely. And thank you, Peeta."

Prim goes to hug Katniss, and I make my way over to Colton. We share a pat on the shoulder, and he gives me a look of admiration. "It's going to be hard – training, I mean. During Reception you're allowed to use a cell, but once you get to Combat Training, you can't use it. You're allowed to use the facility phones at night, but if you use it too much then you'll get in trouble." His voice is low.

"Okay, got it." I offer a smile and nod at him. "Talk soon?"

"For sure," he says back.

I'm doing this. For Prim. Katniss. _Dad._ And myself.

* * *

_Three days later..._

Right after work today, I met with a Recruiter that Colton set me up with. The guy was a total ass, but he was blunt and to the point which I appreciated. We talked over the positions and areas I could be good in, but we settled on Active Duty, other wise known as on-field. I'll be an active soldier, with a gun. A gun – if training goes well.

Haymitch Abernathy – the Recruiter – wasted no time in telling me all about the hell they called Basic Combat Training. After our session, he handed me a booklet of what I'll need to know, and stuff I'll need to pack for BCT.

"_The commander will tear you apart if you make a wrong move, boy. He will scream until you've receded into yourself," he says bluntly while leaning back in his chair._

"_I can handle it," I say truthfully. I endured my mother for eighteen years, after all._

_Haymitch eyes me curiously. "So, you know Colton Williams, huh?"_

"_Yeah."_

"_So, we can get you into training right away. Next week, you ready for that?" Haymitch asks slyly, expecting me to back out. I nod my head with confidence. "I have a fighter, I see. I like you, and I'm gonna pull a few strings for ya. Impress me and I'll get you on Colton's tour."_

_I nod again and reach across the table to shake his hand. "Thanks, sir. I appreciate you meeting with me."_

The folded booklet feels like its burning a hole in my pocket, but I keep it there anyways as I open the drawer of my nightstand. It only holds two items; the locket I intend to give back to Katniss tonight, and the velvet box that holds the engagement ring I was going to use to propose to her after Graduation. I bought it just before Exams – my father helped me take a loan from the back, and I've finally paid it off. I could never return it, it _had _to keep it. I still will propose to her one day – I promised her engagement ring would be more than the locket.

I grab the locket and stuff it into my other pocket, then head out of the apartment – slowly walking down the hall, trying to prolong the discussion I'll have with Katniss in just a few minutes. We aren't officially a couple, but as unofficial couples go, I think we define it. Especially with our past.

I don't bother knocking, Katniss texted me just to come in. My palms are sweaty and they slip when I grasp the doorknob. I wipe them on my khakis and try again, this time managing to turn the knob and open the door.

My heart beat is so loud that I can feel it thumping against my chest when Katniss comes out of her bedroom with a smile as she spots me walking in. Her lips move, but I don't hear a word over the pulsing in my ears. I watch her frown, and then the pulsing grows silent and she stares at me with mistrusting scowl.

"Peeta," I can finally hear her. "You've been acting off the last few days. What's going on?"

"K-Katniss," I wipe my palms again and take a deep breath – but it doesn't help like it did when I think of Dad. "I...Katniss, here." I reach into my pocket and pull out the locket.

"I gave this back to you-"

"You _need _to keep it," I say firmly, though there's a slight waver in my voice.

She takes the locket, but crosses her arms with a scowl. "Why-"

"Katniss, I-I joined the army."

Standing in front of me, the girl I love, her face falls completely. And I've never seen such a look of pure hurt, betrayal, and sadness.

* * *

**A/n: Don't hate me. I know it seems rash of Peeta to do this, but it will become clearer with the next chapters.**

**I had this planned when I started the story too. ****It will definitely lead to majorly defining Katniss and Peeta, as well as their relationship and where they stand.**

**Don't think I'm blindly writing about the army with no knowledge, I come from a military family, so I know the processes that they have to go through. **

**This story will be longer than 20 chapters, now that I roughly plan it out. There may even be a sequel, if it fits in.**

**Please don't hate me. There is a good reason for all of this, especially in helping Peeta recover from his father's death.**

**I really would appreciate your feedback on this chapter!**


	13. Chapter 13: Always

**A/n: Thank you all for being patient!**

**I've been really busy with a new part-time job and trying get as much out of summer as possible...mainly sleep.**

**My other stories: ****_Treacherous, She Will Be Loved, _****and ****_Rebellious Love _****will all be updated in the upcoming days, so hang on!**

**Oh boy, I have some awesome plans for the upcoming chapters of this story...hehe.**

**I do not own The Hunger Games trilogy.**

* * *

"Please say something, Katniss, _please._"

Katniss stares at me, the locket slipping through her fingers and hitting the floor. She still doesn't say anything, so I carefully cup her left cheek with my hand. I feel my own eyes start to burn, but I will myself to stay strong. I need to show her it will be okay.

"I'm so sor-"

She pushes my hand away and shoves me back. "Don't fucking touch me!"

"Katniss, I need to do this," I manage to get the words out, but Katniss just shakes her head with tears glistening in her eyes. "Please, Katniss- I love you so much."

Her eyes widen, and I realize this is my full proclamation of love for her since we were younger. Sure, I told her I still loved her, but it wasn't like this. Her mouth opens and closes a few times in shock, before she masks her emotions and stares at me with hurt and anger.

"Love me? _You love me_?" She asks with an empty, cold laugh that chills my bones and breaks my heart. "How could you...just get up and join the army?"

"I'll always come back to you, I promise." My voice catches at the end, and slowly my facade crumbles along with Katniss' as a few tears escape her eyes and glide down her cheeks. "Don't hate me, Katniss. I need to do this."

She hastily wipes at her eyes with the back of her hand and looks at the ground, avoiding my eyes. "Why? Why do you need to do this?"

"I want to save people – give someone a better future in whatever way I can," I tell her quietly and reach out to lift her chin up. Her grey eyes are glassy and cold, pain laced within them. "I have three months minimum before I even have to go."

Her lips purse and she shakes her head. "No. You're leaving next week for training, Peeta." She breathes in deeply and closes her eyes. "I'm still losing you either way."

"You'll never lose me. I promise."

I see her body shake with shivers, then she pulls me close to her. Her hands dig into my back, holding me tight like she never wants to let go. I rub her back soothingly, hoping to calm her down.

"Here," I say while pulling away and bending down to pick up her locket. I move her hair away from her neck and fasten the gold chain.

I gently trace the features of her face with my thumb, soaking in every detail; the way her nose twitches when she sniffs, the strand of hair that comes out from behind her ear, and the few light freckles that are on the bridge of her nose.

"Stay with me," she whispers tiredly, looking up into my eyes.

And without hesitation, I say, "Always."

* * *

_Next day..._

My living room is filled with the most important people in my life. All six of them. My brothers, my future sister in-law, my two best friends, and the girl I love. They don't know what I'm about to drop on them, except for Katniss. I awkwardly stand up and wipe my sweaty palms on my jeans. They all focus on me, expecting some sort of happy announcement – getting a raise, selling my art, moving – the things your loved ones would _want_ to hear.

They certainly won't want to hear _hey, I've joined the army! Isn't that awesome?_

My eyes land on Katniss as I open my mouth to begin speaking; she's on the other side of the room, keeping her distance from me. Her fingers fidget with the bottom of her shirt, eyes downcast on the floor. Madge clearly notes the tension – when my eyes land on her, she raises her eyebrows and I give a small shake of my head, telling her not to worry – well, at least not yet.

"...I've joined the army," I blurt out tactlessly, and everyone's movements still; Chase and Aaron do a double take, and everyone else just stares. Katniss's body is rigid, I can tell that much. "I, um, start training next week."

The room is deathly quiet, only car honks from outside are heard among us. Finnick's the first to move, his drink slowly lowers from his lips, a look a pure bewilderment etched in his features.

"Are you fucking kidding me, Peeta?" Finnick shouts out while setting down his cup. "That's not funny-"

"Finn, I'm not joking." I swallow thickly and look over at Chase and Aaron again. Aaron shakes his head a few times before getting up from the couch, standing right in front of me.

"What the hell, Peeta?" He asks with a snap, pushing me on the shoulder slightly. "We just lost Dad and now you're going off to get yourself killed? Are you even _thinking_?"

I push him back and hold my ground. "This is _my _decision, Aaron."

Who is he to judge my decisions? It's what I want.

He shakes his head again, a scoff escaping his lips. "Yeah, well, it's a pretty fucked up decision."

Aaron backs a way, the same hurt and angered in expression in his green eyes that were in Katniss's grey just last night. He turns away with a snide laugh, walking towards the door. Anger swells within me, and after all of the emotional exhaustion I've been through in the past two weeks or so, I snap.

"Oh, so you're just going to walk out?" I ask, causing him to stop in his tracks and make his shoulders to go strict. "Like you did when Dad was first admitted to the hospital? Is no one going to hear from you for a few months, maybe until I'm _dead_?"

If I thought the room was deathly silent before, I was mistaken. There's rustling on the couch, and then Chase stands up, stepping between Aaron and me. His eyes are challenging, warning me not to continue. Over his shoulder, Aaron turns around and stares me down with a glare that could kill.

"Peet, listen, just calm down," Chase says calmly, putting one hand on my shoulder. I know Chase is trying to help, but my anger and hurt gets the best of me.

"He was just too damn ashamed to show his face because he knew that he resembled our mother the most. After what she did to Dad, you couldn't even show your face for a few weeks!" I shout out, rage seeping in me. Aaron could never handle the fact that he was the most like our mother – mostly looks wise. He was too butt-hurt to give a damn about our father after what our mother had done! "Couldn't even get over your own problems to even check in on Dad, huh Aaron?"

Aaron rolls his jaw and pushes Chases aside, trying to shove me. "Shut up, Peeta! You think you're the golden child because you rushed him to the hospital? Because you spent most of your money on him? Well, news flash, some of us have _lives_!"

I can hear shouts all around us, but I blank them out and grab Aaron's shirt. He pushes me back again, but I keep a firm hold on his shirt, yanking him with me. "You know what, I don't need this. I don't need _you,_" I snap at him, releasing his shirt from my grip with a push. His eyes are seething and he heaves heavy breaths. Chase grabs his arm, and I take this opportunity to leave my apartment.

I slam the door behind me and quickly go down the stairs, out into the evening spring breeze. Slumping down on the curb, I drop my head in my hands. I'm too overwhelmed with anger and guilt to think clearly right now. All I know is that I'm shaking with anger, but feeling guilt seep in after what I said to Aaron and the bomb I dropped on everyone else.

Aaron has every right to be mad, right? I mean, how would I feel if Aaron was the one who decided to join the army after Dad died? I guess we both were a little out of line with what we said. I shake my head, willing my mind to be blank.

A gentle hand rests on my shoulder and a body slumps down next to me.

"I support your decision," the voice – Madge says softly. "If you want to be a soldier, then I support you, though that doesn't mean I won't worry endlessly."

I turn my head in my hands, sneaking a peek at her; she smiles sadly. "Thanks, Madge. Will you make sure Katniss is okay while I'm gone? You know, make sure she eats something other than Kraft Dinner."

Her laugh is soft and genuine. "Yeah, I will. So...Finnick asked me to be official today."

"Really?" I ask, a smile creeping up on my face. "That's great, I'm happy for you two. Madge? Is he...um, how is he?"

"After you left..." she says slowly, her lips curving down. "He looked pretty low, Peeta. You're his best friend, he talks so highly of you all the time, and for you to tell him that you've joined the army...that you're going to be risking your life – he's crushed."

"I didn't want to hurt anyone, Madge," I say quietly, sitting up straight. "But this is what I want to do and, of course, everyone's getting hurt. And that's the last thing I wanted."

She nods and puts her soft hand on top of mine. "Especially Katniss. She's really off, I noticed."

"I've been trying to win her back all this time, telling her I'm here to stay–" I sigh and shake my head, angry with myself. "–and then I go and do this to her. I don't think she'll ever forgive me, Madge."

"You might want to ask her about that yourself," Madge says before squeezing my hand. I follow her with my eyes, only to see her slip past Katniss. Slowly, she takes a few steps over to me and holds out her hand, and wordlessly, I take it and stand up.

We walk in silence down the street, hand in hand. Katniss' soft hand grasps mine tightly, never once does it loosen, not even when we enter Starbucks. The warm smell of vanilla and roasted coffee fills my sense, calming me a slightly while Katniss orders two Java Chip Frappuccinos, and before I can even grab my wallet, she hands over a few dollar bills.

"I could've paid," I tell her while we wait off to the side for our order. She doesn't answer, just simply shrugs and turns her attention to the barista that calls out our order and we take our drinks outside to one of the shop tables along the sidewalk. We sit down opposite of each, silence and tension weighing heavily between us. "You've barely spoken to me since I told you yesterday."

Katniss swirls her straw around, then takes a long sip before meeting my eyes. "I just don't know what to say."

I play with the whip cream on my drink, licking a drop off my thumb. "I still want you in my life forever, Katniss."

"I want...I want to be with you, Peeta."

"Then what's the problem?" I ask, watching her movements; she plays with her cup, spinning it between her palms. She sighs and shakes her head, her hair dancing in the light breeze. "Lets just be together."

"It's not the simple, Peeta. Just because two people love each other it doesn't make them invincible. Lets face it – there's a chance that your body will come home in a casket, then I'll be left all alone to pick up my pieces! And I can't do it, Peeta. I'll be irreparable," she whispers the last part dejectedly, fresh tears leaving her eyes and sliding down her face.

Katniss never cries in public; this must be affecting her more than I can imagine and it's tearing me apart. It's tearing me apart to watch her crumble right in front of me.

I set down my cup and lean across the table, wiping beneath her eyes gently. "Please, _please_ don't cry. Katniss, I never wanted to hurt you."

Katniss tugs my hands away gently, wiping at her own eyes. She keeps one hand locked with mine, setting it on the table between us. I hold on tightly and trace small circles with my thumb. I sit back in my chair, thinking about everything.

"So..." I say softly, "You said _because two people love each other_...are you saying you love me?" I pick at the edge of the table, scared to look into her eyes only to see rejection.

"I'm saying I never stopped," she whispers gently, and I raise my head slowly with disbelief. But any trace of disbelief is erased once I see the faintest smile on her lips despite her teary eyes.

My mouth opens slightly, but Katniss nods her head, silently answering my unspoken question. I stare into her eyes for a few moments before shaking my head with a grin. _She's loved me all this time._ I forget about what's to come in the next days, weeks, months, and I release her hand to lean in closer.

"I love you," I say just before I capture her lips with mine.

* * *

Katniss and I slip into my apartment just as the sun sets, and the TV plays colours on the walls of the living room. Finnick and Madge are curled up on my couch, watching some TV movie. When I shut the door, Finnick all but jumps up and turns to face me. Katniss lets go of my hand, walking over to sit next to Madge while Finnick and I stare at each other.

He takes a few steps forward and I do the same, soon enough he pulls me into a solid hug, patting my back a few times. "Peet," he mutters sadly.

"Finn."

"You're a crazy son of a bitch," he says as we pull away. "You know that?"

I chuckle quietly, though it's more of a sad one. Finnick and I have been like brothers ever since we met back in high school. He's one of the few people I trust completely, and he's always been with me through my toughest times. And it hurts to know I'll be leaving him behind.

"I'm sorry, Finn," I say and run a hand through my hair. "If it's any consolation, the fighting moves you taught me weren't all that pointless now."

Finnick shakes his head, his bronze hair flopping to the left. "Not helping. Peet, we were supposed to do crazy shit together. I can't let you do this by yourself." My eyes widen, and simultaneously Madge, Katniss and I all shout in disagreement.

"_No!_ You're not doing that. You have a life here, you have everything planned out," I say, clapping his shoulder. He sets his jaw, seriousness etched on his face. "You're going to be somebody, Finn. Somebody great."

Finnick throws his hands up in exasperation. "And you're not? You've got so much here – your brothers, me and Madge, your job..._Katniss._"

A smile lights up my face at Katniss's name, her eyes meet mine from across the room, and she hides her smile behind her cup from Starbucks. Madge nudges her, and Katniss shoots her a look.

"I gave my notice after work today. Tomorrow's my last day," I tell him, biting my lip. "As for you and Madge and my brothers...I hope you guys stay by my side. I gotta have my fans to come home to, right?" I smirk as a small smile tugs at Finnick's lips.

"I guess you're right," he says while striking a ridiculous pose. "You've got this sexy piece of ass to come home to."

"Exactly," I say with a laugh, thankfully for the ease in tension.

Finnick gives my shoulder one last pat before walking over to the girls and throwing his arm around Madge. He jerks his thumb towards Katniss with a questioning look. "And what about this lovely lady?"

I stride over to Katniss and gently bring her lips to mine instead of answering.

_I'm hoping to keep her._

* * *

To say my students were sad, upon learning of my new career choice, would be an understatement. My morning classes were basically in tears, most students sat at their desks with looks of sadness, disbelief and confusion. I'm dreading the next period where I'll teach my last art class _and_ have to tell Lindsay and Sarah – two of my favourite students – that I won't be their teacher anymore.

I finish taping up another box with my belongings – I'm hoping to get this done before the end of the school day, but I still have my stuff in the art room to go through.

I'll probably be here late.

My phone starts vibrating continuously in my pocket, signalling a phone call. I pull it out to see Katniss's name light up the screen, and I tap _accept_ with a smile.

"Hey," I say into the phone, cradling a box under my arm. "Shouldn't you be teaching right now?"

"Nope," she says simply. "I took the day off."

"Really? Why?" I ask, while struggling to keep the box from slipping out from underneath my arm. She laughs, and I look up at the door to see her standing there with her teacher's card hanging around her neck. Surprise takes over and I drop the box on the floor. "Katniss, what are you doing here?"

She grabs an empty box and makes her way over to the half empty bookshelf I've just started to pack away. "Helping you pack."

"Maybe I'll have to thank you with some ice cream after this," I say with a smirk as she begins stacking the books neatly in the box. I start re-taping the box I just dropped – now all that's left are the remaining books and my things in the art rom.

"I was just hoping to spend time with you," she says over her shoulder, a small impish grin on her lips. "But ice cream is good, too."

I help with the rest of the books and we start to stack the box outside of my room. There's about five in total, filled with books, binders, assignment papers, anything on my desk, and what not. I take her jacket and bag, putting it with my stuff behind my now cleared off desk. I grab the three remaining empty boxes and usher Katniss out of the room.

"So, have you talked to Aaron?" She asks while I lead her down the staircase to the main floor of the school, walking down halls to get to the art room.

I shake my head with slight shame. "No...I really need to, though. I was totally out of line last night, and I'm losing sleep over it. I never should've said any of those things...I was just so _I don't know_ about everyone not liking my decision-"

"Peeta," Katniss says, lightly grabbing my forearm. I stop talking and look down at her. "Of course we're not going to like it. But just talk to Aaron tomorrow, you weren't the only one out of line. Hang out with Chase, too – he was pretty torn after you left."

In the midst of it all – fighting with Aaron, talking with Katniss – I completely forgot about the brother I'm closest with. The brother who I looked up to and who taught me so many things.

Chase. I completely blanked him out.

I rub my eyes when we enter the art room, hating myself more and more after looking back on yesterday. My actions were out of control, I barely thought about anyone else-

"Don't beat yourself up over it," Katniss says while walking over to the desk in the art room. She starts putting the stuff on top in a box. "You'll work it out." I nod, letting her words reassure me for once. The class bell rings, snapping me out of it. Katniss dismisses me with her hand, busying herself with packing away everything. "I'll pack and you teach. I haven't seen you in action," she says with a smirk.

I laugh just as the room starts filling with students, all of them looking over Katniss with question. I hop on the stool just near the desk and wait for the last stragglers to come in.

"Happy last period of the day," I say while I clap my hands together, and I faintly hear Katniss snort. I turn on the stool, facing the desk slightly. "This lovely lady over here is-" I cut myself off, not really knowing what we are yet. Katniss sits up with a smirk, crossing her arms over her chest. _I dare you_, she mouths. "-is my girlfriend, Katniss Everdeen. _But _you have to call Miss Everdeen, considering she's a teacher."

A few tables away, Sarah claps and gives Lindsay a smug smile. "I _told_ you it was her!"

"She's, um, helping me pack up my things," I say hesitantly. Sarah and Lindsay's smiles drop, and I feel awful. "I'll no longer be your teacher. Instead I'll be training to become a soldier next week."

Gasps echo throughout the room and a repeat of all my other classes starts to unfold. Except this time, Lindsay and Sarah come up to me with teary eyes. They both tackle me in a hug for a quick second before pulling away.

"We're going to miss you, Mr-"

"Peeta," I say with a smile. "Call me Peeta from now on."

"Stay safe, Mr- Peeta." Lindsay says quietly, wringing her fingers together. "Come visit us, too. You'll always be a Burnley High Tribute!"

Sarah perks up at that and nods eagerly. "Yeah, once a Tribute, always a tribute!"

"And now you've finally got the love of your life back!" Katniss looks up from the box she's taping at the mention of her, a red blush spreading across her cheeks. "You're just as beautiful as the last time we saw you!"

Katniss nods in recognition. "Thank you. It's nice seeing you two again."

They begin to ask Katniss all sort of questions, like what she likes most about me – which she said my eyes – the plans we have for after this, what her first impression of me was.

"Well," she says with a grin, looking at me with a laugh. "Back in grade school, he was so shy and pudgy. Then in the eleventh grade he was blushing and nervous when I sat next to him – it was really sort of cute."

"_Cute_? You thought I was _cute?_" I ask dubiously. "And pudgy?"

"Oh yeah," she says with a nod. "Baby fat, Peeta. It was kinda adorable."

I roll my eyes and listen to the two girls ask more questions, and listen to some of the stories that I have about me and Katniss when we were their age. Katniss catches me eye periodically throughout the conversation, giving me a small smile with a little bit of sadness behind it. The tension between is still thick, but mostly with anticipation and fear for the months to come.

I can't help but feel overwhelmingly guilty for causing that sadness and tension, too.

_I'm sorry, _I mouth to her.

_So sorry._

* * *

Katniss and I finally made it back to my apartment after a few hours of hanging around the school, since the other teachers and staff members decided to throw a _goodbye and be safe _party. Turns out Katniss and I didn't have to go get ice cream since there was a whole ton there. Along with pizza, salad and cake.

Paylor sadly wished me luck with sincerity, and many of my other colleagues told me they'd miss me and that they wish me the best and to be safe. Effie even got a little teary eyed – just like Lindsay and Sarah when the last class ended, signalling the end of my last day as a teacher. Cato Scott, the Phys. Ed teacher, who I thought was a complete asshole, even wished me his best.

"_You're a smart and strong guy," _he said and patted my shoulder. _"You'll do good. Be safe out there, Peeta."_

"So..." I trail off awkwardly, the silence getting to me as we stand around the living room, not knowing what to do.

"Can I stay here?" She asks quietly, not meeting my eyes while her fingers play with the locket.

I smile and nod, even though she isn't looking. "You're always welcome here, Katniss." I go over to her and pull her close. "I just want to be with you."

"In every way..?" She asks so quietly, I almost don't catch that or the tremor in her voice. I look down at her with a raised eyebrow. "You know, _that way. _Together.."

"Together?" I ask, leaning closer to her lips.

She nods and closes her eyes. "Together."

Our lips collide is delicious passion, and we slowly stumble into my bedroom. I plant soft kisses along her cheeks, neck, collar bone – loving the feeling of her being so close to me again. After all these years.

I pull my shirt off, grinning when I catch her staring. She just shakes her head and brings my lips back to hers. "Stay with me," she whispers against my lips.

I continue to kiss her like there's not enough time in the world – there really isn't. I want to kiss her forever and ever, but I know it's not an option, so I'll have to make this night count.

Her shirt comes off, and just like yesterday, I whisper, "Always."

* * *

I roll over, adjusting my boxers, and reach into the drawer of my nightstand, my fingers finding the only object occupying the space. The velvet brushes against my palm as I grab it, and I roll back over to face Katniss just as she pulls one of my old t-shirts on over her exposed chest.

"What did you grab?" She asks while laying back down, her head sinking on the fluffy pillow.

I fumble with the box nervously, my hands shaking as I hold it in clearer view of the moonlight streaming in through the small apartment window. Her eyes are wide when I look up, and she looks between me and the box a few times.

"I'm not asking you to marry me just yet," I tell her, and her shoulders relax slightly, making me glad I didn't ask her today. "I just want you to know I've had this since I was eighteen. I'm going to ask you someday and I hope you'll say yes. I want you to be mine forever and when the time comes I'll ask you."

She sits up and gently traces my jaw with her finger. "You kept your word."

"_Well, your engagement ring will cost way more than that locket."_ I think back to when I couldn't promise Katniss that I wouldn't spend any more money on her when I got her the locket.

"I did," I say quietly with a smile. "I always do."

* * *

**A/n: Sadness, fluffiness, Finnick-ness (yeah, new word) = everything you could ever want!**

**I hope Peeta wasn't OOC with yelling at Aaron. Because he regretted it once he cooled down – Peeta's just been very emotional and you know how people get after being emotionally drained, they snap.**

**Next chapter will consist of Peeta talking with his brothers, Peeta's departure to Basic Combat Training, ****interesting news revolving around Katniss**** and then it'll skip a bit of time to focus on Peeta's last days at training.**

**I'm skipping a lot of the training part because I don't want to waste time explaining the same thing Peeta will do every day. There will be flashbacks next chapter of his time while training, but for the most part I'm skipping over it because it's not that important to the progression of the story.**

**Review or PM me your thoughts!**


	14. Chapter 14

**A/N: Early update!**

**Important:**** My USB stick where I keep all my chapters got ruined. By ruined I mean I dropped it in my pool when I was writing these chapters outside...oops. This chapter was the only one saved on my laptop itself, so right now I'm working on rewriting the chapters for all my other stories. They're all about halfway done, so I'll be getting them posted soon. SORRY!**

**Also, this chapter was split into two parts because it got really long. That being said, this is the longest chapter! **

**Thank you all for your support, and encouraging reviews and personal messages! You guys are my inspiration! (and lovely Everlark of course.)**

**I do not own The Hunger Games, or the song, The Girl by City and Colour.**

* * *

I nervously play with my hands after knocking on Aaron's door. He should hate me, never want to speak to me again after the things I said. Who am I to say he didn't care enough about our father? I had no right to be so rude to my own brother, no matter how upset I was at the time.

The door swings open, and I stumble back a few steps at who I see. Sure it's been years since I saw her last, but I still recognize her. She's much more flattering now; she has eased up on the makeup, settling for just a small amount, and her hair is a natural blonde, almost dirty blonde instead of her bleached hair from high school.

"Uh," I say awkwardly, staring at her through the screen door. "Glimmer...?"

Her eyes widen, but she still smiles, her white teeth shining brightly. "Peeta? I knew the last name Mellark sounded familiar!" She pushes open the screen door, inviting me inside. When I step inside, I notice the subtle changes in the house; women's shoes by the front door, colourful scarves on the coat hanger, the smell of scented candles. Glimmer Hudson from high school...is the mystery girl I had suspicions about. I just never thought it would be her.

"You're, um, you and Aaron?"

She nods. "Yeah. I can't believe I went this long without realizing you two were brothers. Small world, huh?" I chuckle and nod, taking in her appearance. She's traded her mini-skirts and low cut tops for slim jeans and a dressy blouse.

Certainly these changes are for the good.

"Glim, who's at the-" I look up behind Glimmer to see Aaron stopped in the hallway, staring at me with surprise. "Peeta?"

I run a hand through my hair and offer a small smile. "Hey. Can I talk to you?"

Glimmer takes this as a hint and smiles once more at me before slipping past Aaron, leaving us alone. Aaron motions to the door, and we both go outside to sit on the front steps. I bite my lip as he takes a seat next to me, sighing loudly.

"Look, Peet-"

"No, no," I interrupt him, looking down at the concrete. "I'm sorry for what I said a few days ago. You had your reasons about the whole Dad thing...and I was just saying shit to make you upset. I was out of line," I tell him earnestly, looking over at him. "I'll understand if you're still mad, but I just wanted to apologize, Aaron."

Aaron puts a hand on my shoulder, the gesture sends relief and comfort through me. "I'm sorry, too, Peet. Even though I don't like your decision, I'll stick by you. And I can't stay mad at you, you're my baby brother, you know."

I chuckle and he pats my shoulder twice before removing his hand. "Thanks, Aaron." I rub my hands on the material of my pants, thinking about Glimmer being in Aaron's house right now. "So...you and Glimmer? She was in my grade back in high school."

"Wait, really?" He asks with a cluck of his tongue and I nod. "I was always wondering why she thought Mellark sounded familiar. Never thought to mention your name, though."

"Pretty crazy, right?" I say back, stretching my legs down the steps. "How'd you meet?"

"Just through mutual friends...and something just happened. She's a teacher, too. Teaches History." I raise my eyebrows at this in disbelief. Not to be rude, but in high school Glimmer didn't have the best work ethic. Aaron notices and laughs. "I know what you're thinking. She told me after high school she got her priorities straight and went into education."

I nod, believing it. "I can tell, she's changed quite a bit."

Aaron smiles and nudges my shoulder in a brotherly way. "Talk to Chase yet?"

I nod. "Yeah, I called him briefly last night. But he was busy. I'll call again in a bit."

Aaron stands up and I follow suit. "Hey, how about all of us get together tonight for dinner? We can all cook a dinner here, sound good? Bring Katniss." He smirks when he says the last part, making my cheeks feel hot.

"I'll tell Chase when I talk to him," I say, liking the idea of having dinner together – spending time with my brothers and Katniss at the same time. "How'd you know about Katniss?"

"She gave me an earful when you walked out after our fight," he says with an easy chuckle. "I'm glad you've got her back. So, come by around six? Tell Chase to bring Clove, too."

"Sounds like her. I'll see you later." We pull each other into a firm hug, patting each other's backs a few times before letting go. "Love you, bro."

Aaron grins and opens the screen door. "Love you, too."

* * *

When I get in my car, ready to leave Aaron's with the intent on calling Chase, but my phone dings with the alert I set for Chase, and I quickly grab my phone, putting the car in park.

**I'm sorry for being an ass. I was just so torn, you know? Like you're my brother...and man, I can't lose you. I'm sorry.**

_You won't, Chase. I'll be back, don't worry. I just want to help others...on a bigger scale. Does that make sense?_

His reply is quick as before. **I get it, Peet. It's just hard to wrap my head around – to imagine you out there at risk of being hurt...And I won't be there to protect you. You're like my best friend and brother all in one.**

_We've all got to start being independent at some point in our lives_, I type quickly. _And my time will be then. You're my bro and best friend, too. By the way, Dinner at Aaron's house at six tonight and bring Clove._

**I'll be there to see you, little Peetie. ;)**

* * *

"You're sure Aaron doesn't hate me for yelling at him, right?"

I roll my eyes and open Aaron's front door. "He doesn't, Katniss. What did you even say to him?"

"Oh, nothing...of your concern." She smirks at me and slips off her shoes,waiting for me to do the same. I slip off my own shoes and guide Katniss into the kitchen, throwing a mock glare at her as we go. "It's okay. You're a big boy, you'll get over it."

"Don't think I will," I say back with a half-grin.

Aaron's kitchen is quite elaborate, well it's about two times the size of my small apartment kitchen. Dark marble countertops, stainless steel appliances, a gas burner stove, a huge island counter – much more than what I've ever had. But putting it into perspective, Aaron is a big-time real estate agent, and I'm just a former teacher soon-to-be soldier.

Aaron's at the counter looking through recipes. If it's anything us Mellark boys can do, it's baking and cooking. Thanks to growing up in our family's small cafe. I remember it being one of my favourite places to spend time at. But now it's some abandoned, rotting building downtown. Dad closed it down after I graduated, after almost twenty-five years, he had closed it down. All of my greatest memories lie in the building...learning how to bake and cook, being in that calming atmosphere, sneaking in with Katniss after closing.

"_Peeta, lets go back. We shouldn't be here! Your dad is gonna hate me-"_

_I place a hand over Katniss's mouth and switch on one light in the work room, giving us enough light to see a few inches in front of us. I smirk at her scowl. "Why are you whispering? No one else is here."_

_She pulls my hand away and crosses her arms over her chest, her scowl not faltering. "Your dad will flip out-"_

"_Nope. I have keys, so I'm basically allowed to come anytime I want-"_

"_Stop interrupting me!" Katniss hisses, smacking my arm._

_I pull her to me, leaning close to her lips with a smirk. "Calm down, we won't get in trouble. Now lets have fun." I place my lips to hers, making her relax in my hold. The feeling I get when we kiss is indescribable, it's a mix of so many amazing feelings, I can't fathom them._

_Katniss pulls away after a minute, looking up at me with red lips. "What are we going to do here anyway?"_

"_Sneaking into a cafe at night just screams romantic, Katniss," I say, grabbing the container of leftovers and pulling her into the main room. "I know you love it when I'm romantic."_

_Katniss raises an eyebrow, walking between the tables. "And what makes you think you've got me all figured out?"_

"_Because I do." I smirk, leaning against the front counter. "Confidence is key, you know."_

"_Oh, really?" She asks while venturing further away with her back to me. She turns around and hops up on a table, staring at me with her grey eyes barely visible in the dim light. "Lets put our knowledge to the test, then."_

"_Okay, you're on." I say, hopping up on the counter with a grin. "What happens if one of us gets something wrong?"_

"_I guess you'll be saying goodbye to seeing me shirtless," Katniss says with an alluring smirk, making my insides twist with a bubbly feeling._

"_You should be worried about not seeing _me _shirtless. But, Katniss...you do know I don't only care about...you know...sex. I care way more about just you than any of that."_

_Katniss smiles gently, a smile reserved only for the ones she cares most about, which makes my stomach twist even more. "I didn't have any doubts before...but thank you. For saying that."_

"_No need to thank me," I say, leaning back on my palms. "Okay, so this game – you start."_

"_Your favourite colour is orange like the sunset."_

_I smile and nod. "Yours is forest green."_

"_When you concentrate you always pull your bottom lip in," she says, staring at her hands with red cheeks. __"__You're a painter. You're a baker. You like to sleep with the windows open. You never take sugar in your tea. And you always double-knot your shoelaces."_

_She promptly cuts herself off, not looking up to meet my eyes. I slide off the counter and weave through the tables, coming to stand right in front of her. She doesn't look up, so I gently lift her chin up. Her cheeks flush red, making me smile._

"_And to think that you never noticed me." I say lightly, causing a small smile to stretch across her lips. "I love you."_

"_I love you, too."_

Katniss squeezes my arm gently, bringing me out of my thoughts. She raises her eyebrows at me, but I play it off with a smile. "I'm fine," I whisper, pulling her more into the kitchen. "Peeta and Katniss have arrived." I say teasingly, nudging Katniss.

Aaron turns around, smiling widely at us. Katniss shifts awkwardly, probably still thinking Aaron hates her or something ridiculous. "Hey, you two! No hugs, Katniss?"

Katniss's unsure smile is replaced with a relieved one as she laughs and crosses the room to give him a quick hug. I feel a hand tap my shoulder, and I turn around to see Glimmer standing there in another outfit that I wouldn't expect – a simple pair of jeans and a dressy tank top. Not much dressier than Katniss's dark slim jeans and white cardigan.

"Hey," I say with a small smile, not quite used to the fact that my brother is dating Glimmer. I feel bad that Katniss and I used to mock her sometimes without even knowing her.

"Hi Peeta," she says back, and her eyes land on Katniss with a raised eyebrow. "Is that Katniss Everdeen?"

I nod just as Katniss turns away from Aaron, who's pulling out a recipe, and she does a double take of Glimmer. I totally forgot to tell Katniss about Glimmer...I was just so focused on spending time with her that I forgot to mention it.

Katniss's head cocks to the side almost imperceptibly to anyone else but me. She studies Glimmer for a moment, then shoots me a _thanks for telling me_ look. But her shoulders relax when she takes in Glimmer's new appearance, her thoughts probably matching mine from earlier today.

"Katniss," Glimmer says walking over to her, and without the crazy four-inch heels, Glimmer is about the same height as Katniss. "It's great to see you again!" Her voice is filled with sincerity, confusing me in the slightest.

"Glimmer?" Katniss's voice comes out more questioningly while Glimmer pulls her in for a quick hug, which Katniss reciprocates stiffly. "Um, good to see you, too."

"I had no idea that you and Peeta were still together," Glimmer says, motioning between us. "But you two were the cutest couple back in high school, everyone knew you guys would last."

"We kind of just got back together recently..."

"Oh," Glimmer's smile falters slightly, but then she smiles again. "But you're back together now, and that's good!"

Katniss nods, so I cut in. "What's for dinner?"

Aaron comes over, handing me a recipe in his wispy writing. I look over it, my heart clenching at the memory of our father making this for us, it being our favourite meal of his. "Cheddar Potato Soup," I say with my voice coming out as a whisper while I remember my father before the disabilities and death.

His whistling while he cut the potatoes up, how he secretly added bacon to the recipe – catering to the needs of three boys, the way he asked me to shred cheese after I'd sit there watching him prepare the soup.

"Me, you and Chase are going to make it," Aaron says, putting a hand on my back. "Chase should be here soon, he texted me saying he's on his way."

I place the recipe down on the island, my hands shaking just slightly. "Okay."

I'm aware of their eyes on me, so I look up with a weak smile and excuse myself to the bathroom. I barely make it down the hall before I feel a hand grab mine, pulling me to a stop. I'd know her warm hand anywhere.

"I just want to be alone," I say, knowing it's not entirely true.

"No, you don't." She sees right through me just as good as Finnick, and I shrug, still not turning around. "You're telling me you'd rather sit alone in a bathroom for ten minutes?"

I close my eyes and sigh. "No."

"Okay, well, lets go talk," she says and pulls me down the hall and out the front door, only pausing to slip our shoes on. We go around to the backyard, taking a seat by the pool that's freezing cold with leaves at the bottom, not quite ready for a month or two.

"It was the recipe our dad used to make us all the time," I tell her and she squeezes my hand gently, and I think she already knew that to be the case. "It just brought back all the memories."

"I get it," she says quietly, and I look up at her. "Whenever there's a thunderstorm, I remember the stories my dad told me and Prim when we were younger to make us forget about the storm."

I nod and move closer to her. "I heard a song the other day. It reminded me of you." I tell her after a few minutes of silence.

She turns to me, a glint in her eyes. "Lets hear it."

I pull out my phone and google the song, tapping on a link to the video. I watch her face while the song starts to play; a small smile on her face. She looks up at me and stands up, pulling me up with her. I don't know what it is, but we always seem to end up dancing.

_I wish I could do better by you,__  
__'cause that's what you deserve__  
__You sacrifice so much of your life__  
__In order for this to work.___

_While I'm off chasing my own dreams__  
__Sailing around the world__  
__Please know that I'm yours to keep__  
__My beautiful girl___

_When you cry a piece of my heart dies__  
__Knowing that I may have been the cause__  
__If you were to leave__  
__Fulfill someone else's dreams__  
__I think I might totally be lost__  
__You don't ask for no diamond rings no delicate string of pearls__  
__That's why I wrote this song to sing__  
__My beautiful girl_

"You know I really do...love you, right?" She asks softly over the music as it continues. She moves her hips to the beat as it quickens, holding tightly to my hands.

"Yes...I do-"

"Hey, love birds!" We turn our heads, Chase standing by the back door, waving us inside. "Come on inside!"

Reluctantly, I step away from Katniss and bend down to pick up my phone. We make our way to the door, where Chase pulls Katniss into a hug and pats me on the shoulder. We all walk into the kitchen and Clove waves at Katniss from her stool next to Glimmer at the island.

Clove squeezes Katniss arm with a smile, then she stands on her tiptoes to pull me into a tight hug. "I love you, you know that? And you're like my brother, so please be safe." Her voice is a whisper close to my ear, and when I pull away I nod with a smile.

"I will, Clove," I say with a smile. Clove pulls Katniss with her, making Katniss sit down with her and Glimmer at the island counter. An apron hits my chest, and I catch it before it falls to the floor. I hold it up and look over at a grinning Aaron. "I'm not wearing this."

"Oh, yes you are," Chase adds in while tying back his red one. Aaron's already got a black one on, and I look at mine in distaste. Pink. Of course.

"I'm not wearing pink!"

Aaron crosses his arms with a wicked smirk. "Well, since you just had to complain, I say you wear that pink apron without your shirt." Chase nods vigorously, stepping closer to me.

I back away, shaking my head. "No. Don't you dare-"

Chase grabs my arm, pulling it behind my back. He was always just a little better than me at wrestling. If it wasn't for him, I would've won the state championship in high school. But sometimes luck is on my side, too.

I squirm and free my arm, pulling him into a headlock. He taps my arm a few times. "Tap out, Chase. Tap out," I say through my teeth, struggling to keep him in place.

He elbows me. "I tap out!" He pants, not being able to reach the floor. I release him, and we stumble away with laughter. I smooth out my shirt and pull on the apron over it. "I just wanted to see your muscles." Chase says, feigning disappointment.

"Oops," I retort, brushing by him while tying the apron behind my back.

Aaron rolls his eyes and hands me a bunch of potatoes, gesturing to the cutting board, peeler and knife on the other end of the island from the girls. I set the potatoes down and move to go wash my hands quickly.

"Peeta, pink is really your colour." I hear Clove say as I dry my hands and turn back to the counter. The three girls stare at me with grins, and I roll my eyes.

I begin peeling the skin off the potatoes, listening to everything around me; Aaron cutting carrots behind me, Chase cutting celery beside me, Glimmer telling Clove and Katniss a story. But I feel her eyes on me.

I look up after my second potato, catching Katniss's eye. She smiles slightly, and I smile back with my wavy hair falling over my forehead. Clove and Glimmer catch on, looking between the two of us, and Katniss averts her gaze when they laugh.

"How long are you gone for, again?" Chase asks, looking up from his pile of chopped celery.

The room seems to get quieter and I bite my lip before answering. "Two and a half months. Then I, um, leave again two weeks after that."

And then it really hits me. I only have a little over fourteen days all together to spend with my loved ones between now and December when I'll be returning from my tour. Colton filled me in the other day, we're going to Iraq. I'm still not sure how Haymitch Abernathy and Colton managed to even get me on that tour – if I pass training – even though I'm not even an official soldier yet. Well, I'm not officially on the tour until I graduate from training.

"Where?" Glimmer asks.

I stop peeling and look at everyone else. Aaron's stopped cutting along with Chase, and Katniss looks away.

"I'm joining the army," I explain to her. Glimmer's mouth forms an 'o' shape and she looks apologetic. Everyone shuffles and fidgets awkwardly, and I set my peeler down. "Will you guys stop this? If this is going to happen every time me joining the army comes up in conversation, then we all shouldn't talk." I say evenly with slight irritation in my voice. I know it's hard for them, it's for me too, but I need this to stop happening.

"Well, that's not fair." Katniss's voice is steady, her eyes staring into mine. "Do you expect us to smile and clap every time this comes up?"

"No, but I'm saying I want to be able to have conversations about-"

"I'm sorry, but the job you picked isn't exactly the '_hi, honey. how was work today?' _type, now is it?" Katniss retorts back with an edge to her voice.

Chase clears his throat, a small smile on his face – though it seems forced. "Guys, lets just enjoy being together. Okay?" I clench my jaw a few times as my hands grip the edge of the counter. I release a breath and begin peeling again, and thankfully, Glimmer resumes talking.

Time passes and then I finish peeling and cutting the last potato. I hand the bowl to Aaron, and he smiles slightly. "That's pretty much all we needed to prepare. Now we have to mix the milk and flour, then add the broth and everything else. Oh, and I didn't forget the bacon!" He holds up a plate with tinfoil, and I assume that's covering the bacon.

I laugh and shake my head. "Cheese, too?" I ask, and he motions to a small bowl of shredded cheese.

"Take a seat," Aaron says to me and Chase while he turns to pour the broth in.

Glimmer goes over to the fridge, pulling out six beers. She hands one to each of us, and sets Aaron's down by him. He kisses her on the cheek, and I can't help but smile a little bit.

I use the bottle opener to pop off the cap, then I pass it on to Chase. I take a sip and keep my eyes looking around, avoiding Katniss's. But it's almost inevitable, and I end up sneaking a glance at her. I look away quickly when I see her glaring.

"I'll go set the bowls on the table in the dining room," I tell Aaron and get up to grab the stack of bowls he set aside.

"Oh, I'll help you," Katniss says sharply, standing up and grabbing the spoons and napkins. Clove snickers, and I shoot her a look, but she makes no move to hide her smirk. I walk into the dining room, Katniss following behind me. I set the bowls around the table, avoiding Katniss, but my luck runs out when I run out of bowls.

I sigh and turn around to find Katniss. She crosses her arms and purses her lips.

"What?"

"It's one thing to drop this bomb on us," she starts, her voice just a little louder than normal. "But then to get frustrated when we don't like talking about it? What do you want us to do, Peeta? It's damn hard to keep a normal conversation when the thought of you _dying_ comes up!"

I rub my eyes and take in a deep breath. "Then don't let it. Don't let those thoughts ruin our time together! Just focus on the good things, focus on _us._"

"There's not an _us _with just one," Katniss snaps. "Because when you die, there won't be an _us. _There will be a _me._ Alone and broken."

Her words crush me like a boulder for many reasons.

"So, you're saying...you don't think I'll come home." I say it more as a statement, not a question. I don't know what hurts more; picturing a broken Katniss, or her not having faith in me coming home. "You're saying I'm going to die," I say with hurt laced in my voice.

"Peeta," Katniss's voice is still firm, but with pleading behind it. "Are you going to sense land mines and bombs? Will you be able to kill someone if you have to? To save yourself, will you kill another?"

I stare at her in disbelief. How can she not believe in me? After all we've been though? How can she pretend to believe in me, then stand here and say this?

"When the time comes...I'm sure I'll kill just like everyone else." I argue back, but something in Katniss's eyes tells me she doesn't quite believe me.

This dinner was supposed to be a good time with my brothers and Katniss. Now it feels like the walls are crumbling down just like they did when Katniss left the first time, then again when my father died, and now again.

"Peeta," Katniss tries again, softer this time.

I shake my head and wipe at my eyes, making sure no tears spill over. "Save it. You don't think I'm going to come home. You think I'm going to die out there – that my body will come back in a casket. You never believed in me, did you?"

"That's not...Peeta, please-" she struggles with her words, and for once I don't feel sympathy.

"All this time...you were just really upset because you think I'm going to die." I shake my head again, not being able to handle this. "That's what you meant. I just never thought that...that you'd be the one to not believe in me.

I brush past Katniss, going back into the kitchen. They immediately start talking again as if they weren't listening the entire time. Glimmer's forced smile is a dead giveaway, at least Clove and Chase are better at acting than her. I take my seat and try to act nonchalant by taking a sip of my beer and asking Aaron when the soup will be ready.

"In a few minutes," he answers easily, almost a good an actor as Chase and Clove. "We were all thinking of going out after dinner. Maybe to the ice cream parlor down the block for dessert."

Katniss takes her seat, carefully avoiding my eyes. Just because I'm upset over Katniss doesn't mean I'll miss out on spending time with my brothers. "Yeah, sounds good."

"Awesome," Chase cuts in, giving me a smile. "Peeta, want to help me grab the bread and stuff while Aaron brings out the soup?"

Everyone starts grabbing their drinks, moving to the dining room. I nod and grab the basket of freshly cut french bread while Chase grabs the pepper grinder and salt shaker.

"You okay?" Aaron asks when it's just the three of us left in the kitchen.

I fake a smile, even though they know the truth. It's better to pretend everything is alright, so this evening can be more enjoyable. "Yeah. I'm fine."

They slowly nod, letting it go for now as we enter the dining room. And of course, my spot is clearly next to Katniss, seeing as Chase takes his seat next to clove, Aaron sitting at the head of the table.

The pot of soup slides along the table, everyone ladling some soup into their bowls. I scoop some soup into my bowl after Katniss, and we both reach for a piece of bread at the same time.

"Sorry," I mutter and let her grab a piece first. She hesitantly does and sets it down on the napkin beside her bowl.

"Thanks," she says quietly, trying her best to smile at me, but it fails and I don't return it.

Aaron clears his throat and smiles at everyone, more so me and Chase. "Lets see how good this is," he says and holds up his spoon.

Chase and Aaron both scoop some up, but I hesitantly plunge my spoon in the creamy soup. I bring it to my lips slowly and close my eyes when it hits my tongue.

And to my surprise, it tastes almost like Dad's. Of course there is a slight difference, nothing can beat Dad's...but it's almost as good. I smile as I swallow and open my eyes.

"It's...really good," I say after a few seconds.

Chase smiles and bumps my fist from across the table. "Damn right it is, bro."

"We've got to cook together more often, brothers." Aaron pipes up after a large spoonful. "Peet, you make time in your busy schedule for us," he says with a chuckle, and I smile at his way of adding ease to _that_ subject.

"Will do," I say back, ignoring the pain that arises in me at the thought of Katniss's words.

"This is really amazing, guys." Glimmer adds in after taking a sip of her beer.

"The soup or the beer?" Clove asks with a smirk, causing us all to laugh.

"Both," Glimmer says back with a grin of her own. She takes another spoonful, then looks to Katniss. "So, Katniss, you were saying that you teach?"

Katniss nods and finishes swallowing. "English, yeah. You said history?"

"Yeah. I'm thinking of, like, new ideas to get high schoolers engaged in activities. It's a lot harder than it sounds, you know?"

"I was more laid back and acted like one of them," I cut in, giving Glimmer some tips that helped me. "They react better to that."

"Really?" She asks, and I nod. "Maybe I'll give that a try."

We all fall into small talk while we finish our food, it's easier than I thought to avoid talking to Katniss, and Chase and Aaron do a good job at keeping everyone smiling. And with Clove's deadly sarcasm, we all find ourselves laughing.

* * *

"I'll get a chocolate and vanilla swirl," Katniss says to the ice cream server, and she reaches into her purse to grab some money, but I quickly put down some money and order the same thing as her.

"You didn't have to do that," Katniss mumbles, and the others around us look away, pretending not to listen again.

I shrug and stuff my wallet back in my pocket. "Well, I did."

"Peeta, listen," she starts to speak, but the server cuts her off by handing us our cones. We all go to the back of the parlour, take up two tables by pushing them together. I look up at Katniss, a small dot of chocolate ice cream on her nose. I chuckle despite my mood and reach across the table, wiping it away with my finger.

"You had chocolate..."

"Thanks." Katniss licks her ice cream, and I try to look away but it's impossible when she's licking her ice cream. She's oblivious to it, then looks at me. "Can...we talk...please?"

I sigh and nod, getting up to follow her out of the parlour. The others let us go without question. She pushes the door open, making me shiver slightly when the cold spring air hits me. Katniss pulls her cardigan closer while we take a seat on the bench just by the doors.

"Peeta..." she says quietly, twirling the cone in her hand. "I just-...you're too _good_ to kill anyone. I know you...I know you won't be able to. And if you do, you won't be the same."

I don't _want _to kill anyone, but I'll have to at some point in Iraq. It's almost inevitable. I don't think anyone should be dying, but it will be apart of my job...and I'll have to.

"No one's the same, Katniss," I say evenly, looking away.

"_Exactly,_" she snaps, grabbing my arm and making me look at her. "Peeta, I want you to still be _you_."

I sigh and shake my head. "Why does it matter? You've already written me off as dead, so let it go." My voice isn't mine – it's been replaced by a cold, empty and hollow voice.

"What do you want me to do? Get my hopes up, thinking you'll come home, only to be rewarded with your dead body?" She shouts, throwing her hands up in exasperation. I toss the rest of my ice cream in the garbage, not in the mood for it anymore.

"Maybe you could have a little faith in me," I snap back, staring at her with disbelief. "You know, maybe you could root for me! Maybe you can let yourself hope just a little bit. Why are you even bothering if you think I won't come home?"

"Hope is dangerous," she whispers. Her eyes land on the parked cars in the lots, not meeting mine. "You know why, Peeta."

"Katniss, you can't afford to think like that." I take deep breath, keeping my voice steady and strong. "No, I really don't. It's obviously not because you love me, you know, since you don't expect me to make it."

Katniss brings down one of her hands on the wooden bench. "Goddammit, Peeta! I love you, okay? I love you so much it hurts to think about you dying out there! I can't stand the thought – the the thought of losing you. The...odds are never in our favour, Peeta. I can't see you coming home."

"Well, that's that." I promptly stand up and start walking away from her. I hear her get up behind me, her footsteps falling quickly. I look over my shoulder and frown when I see her walking the opposite way from me. She stops and looks over her shoulder, too.

I slowly come to a stop, not willing to walk away from her just yet. I don't care whatever she thinks about me, but I'm going to show her that I'll come home. I'm going to make the odds in our favour so we can have a life together. So we can do everything I've dreamed of.

But as quick as she stopped, she's walking again without another look back. My heart clenches and I call out to her, trying to get her to stop.

"Katniss!"

"_What_, Peeta?" She whips around, her face flushed. I don't even have a chance to get another word out before she begins shouting again. "I don't want to get left behind by you, too! I'm sick of people coming in my life and then leaving, and you should know that-"

"Just have faith, Katniss, please!" I call back, running a hand through my hair. "I'll prove you wrong and come home! Just for you, I'll fight-"

Katniss gives a snide laugh, shaking her head. "You don't fucking get it, Peeta. I don't want you to do things you don't want to just because of me! I don't want you to change."

"I won't, Katniss. Every thing I had ever done was for you – this is no different."

"Well, it's a little extreme. Why ruin yourself just to come back?"

"Because of you, Katniss. I'm nothing without you."

Katniss's angry facade falls away as a stray tear slips down her cheek. "Prove me wrong." Her words mirror my thoughts from a few minutes ago.

"That's what I've been doing ever since I met you," I tell her, walking over to stand right in front of her. "I don't plan on stopping now." And instead of saying something, she pulls my face down to hers and presses her lips on mine in a delightful kiss.

She grips my shirt, not wanting to lose me. I let her lips guide mine, resting a hand on her hip, the other playing with her hair and revelling in our kiss. I take note of every touch, her scent, how soft her hair is between my fingers.

Katniss pulls away, her breaths coming out heavy and shallow. I close my eyes storing away this moment to keep forever.

"Now there's no way I'll let you go."

* * *

**A/n: Part two this chapter to come soon!**

**Things to look out for next chapter: Peeta at basic training, POVs from two other characters (mystery!), Katniss and whatever she's dealing with, and Peeta's graduation from training.**

**Sorry again about my other stories, I'm working hard to re-write the chapters that got deleted!**

**Tell me your thoughts!**


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